Please tell me good things about being in your 40s

[CalonHapus]

It's my 40th birthday today. I've started getting perimenopause symptoms in the past few months, and I'm finding it hard to feel particularly positive about this new decade. Are there any silver linings?

You don’t give a toss what other people think anymore.

This.

It's incredibly liberating.

I loved my forties.
I had more money and confidence so I felt I looked better than I did in my 20s. My DC were growing up and a bit more independent which freed up a lot of time. I was still able to eat pretty much what I wanted and not put on weight so, in my case, nothing hormonal seemed to have started (the menopause took away this magical ability and gave me a whopping spare tyre in its place).
The not-giving-a-toss hasn't yet caught up with me even now (late 50s) but I can see that would be nice.

Spending all your free time gardening is considered normal and not odd like it was in your 20's.

Career is going well so more cash, kids increasingly independent, settled into home, so much to be positive about. To make friends moving out of London though.

40’s are freedom! I give correspondingly less fucks about what other people think of me with each passing year, I’m well established enough in my career to be able to pick and choose the amount of nonsense I put up with, my child is becoming increasingly independent and it turns out that I still actually quite like my DH most of the time. I don’t care if my clothes/hobbies/life are cool or on trend, I spend my leisure time doing things I enjoy with people I like. Embrace the 40s!

I'm enjoying my 40's. We have more money, the kids are growing up and life feels easier. I've returned to work full time, been promoted, bought a lovely new home, we've travelled to some amazing places. Not living the peri symptoms but it could be worse.

I can’t remember…

Happy Birthday!

I became - somehow - a really creative person in my 40s. I think I realised that I had a ton of ideas and nothing to stop me trying them out. Then on the back of that, I met a whole load of similar women who have enriched my life no end. I feel like a bit of a late bloomer, in a way.

Other things: you get taken more seriously if you need to stand up for yourself, and the words come more easily because (as others have said) you have so much less interest in being demure and compliant.

You realise that quite a bit of good stuff out there is tailored to the interests of forty-something women. We are just coming out of raising small children, we usually are in full-time work, so we have money and a desire to look after ourselves. I mean things like clothing, art opportunities, books are an obvious one, travel.

I don't know about anyone else but I liked reaching a point where I could look at my life and think, yeah I've been through a lot but I have come out of it well: I felt really strong. My one bit of advice would be to get physically as strong as you can be (maybe you are already!) before actually hitting deep perimenopause/menopause, because that will only do you good.

You don't give a damn what others think.
You have more money.
You realise what you want to make you happy and do it.
You realise there's no point wasting time chasing after friends that don't chase you.
My children became adults, so a lot more free time in my hands.

I love my 40s. Can't wait to see what fun my 50s bring.

Happy birthday!

I’m 40 next week. I don’t feel ready for it but at the same time I feel like I’m coming into my own and I’m going to try and embrace this new decade.

im fitter than I’ve been my whole adult life, back in a dress size I haven’t been since my teens. My kids are young adults and great company. I have more money and free time than I’ve had my whole adult life. I still feel very young in myself and I want my 40s to be a decade of fun, challenges and adventures. I’ve signed up for my first full marathon a month after my birthday.

your 40s are what you make them. Do things that make you happy.

Leading on from feeling more confident knowing yourself more and not giving as many shits, sex is better!!

You know what , every decade I go through I look back at as a good one, don't over think it. If the menopausal symptoms are being a pain get to the GP, and get on HRT no different to taking vitamins. How you treat yourself in your 40s pays dividends to how you'll be later on. Get strong to stay strong.

You have a huge amount of life experience and wisdom under your belt. You hopefully realize that you don't know everything, and are more comfortable with learning than you were earlier in life

Re perimenopause - take control, as much as you can anyway. Don't just passively let it happen to you - get educated about symptoms and what you can expect. Do your research about HRT and if it's a possibility for you, I highly recommend it. Make changes to your life now that will benefit you forever - get more active, eat with a focus on nutrition, do what you can to manage your stress

Financially better off as career was well established.
Kids more independent and contributed to household.
Time to look after myself - gym, socialising, etc. Got my pre-children body back.
Libido returned with a vengeance.
Ditched the husband and got a much younger BF.
Gave zero fucks about what anyone else thought.

For me, it was the best decade!

I remember thinking the same as you a couple of years ago! But kids are growing up so much more time for me. Career taking off again. Sleep improving so I look (and feel) more human. I’m back enjoying fashion, running and more time at the gym. Kids are older so holidays are waaaaaay better now. For me 30s was my crunchy mum decade. 40s is more about me again. I think both are good just very different.

Enjoy your birthday!

Happy Birthday!!!

I am loving my 40s! 41 now and never had so much fun and joy! My career is at its peak and having had kids in my late 20s means they are somewhat independent (10 and 12) and I can dedicate myself to work. My kids turned out great boys despite my choice of pursuing a career rather than staying at home. That's a big relief. Having more money now allowed me to leave an awful marriage and buy my very own flat (couldn't afford a house, but I'm in London, so a flat counts!) and transform it into my dream home. Sex is great too. No toss or worries about my body allow me to really enjoy it (having a great new partner helps too!). I actually find now that's I'm super hot and sexy!
I somewhat know this is the peak and things will eventually start to decline, but I'm finally fulfilling all my dreams and goals and I will be ready to enjoy them in the next decade without the pressure to actually having to pay for all these things!
Yes, peri sucks. I'm losing a lot of hair and my energy levels are not the same. Brain fog is real. But I'm learning to manage it. HRT helps.
I don't really want to go back to 30s me, having to raise my kids again in a foreign country with a despiteful husband and no support or money.

Happy birthday 🎂

I think this is very individual. Some women have grown up kids in their 40s, other might have a baby.

Also, not to be negative, but I had a huge amount of freedom in my 30s, and then bang, elderly parents needed a huge amount of support and care. I was not expecting that. It’s still hard to believe now, when I see how independent my MIL and FIL are in their 70s.

Having said that, I’m a much more confident person in my 40s. I think you just feel more content in yourself, and the small things in life.

Thanks everyone ♥️

Had to have a rueful smile at all the references to DC becoming more independent, as I have a DS who is 20 and a DD who just turned 14 months...

I’m loving my forties, there’s loads of positives, more confident, unafraid to say what you think and people are right when they say they don’t care what others think anymore you just realise it’s not important!

Perimenopause isn’t great so I’d recommended starting supplements, I take iron, vitamin C, occasionally magnesium and collagen.

Oh god sorry to be so negative but I’m not enjoying it yet. Youngest is 4 so yes getting more independence but I’ve gone back to work on the lowest rung and doesn’t look likely I can rise in the company as it’s so small so will need to make a sideways step and start again so no I don’t feel better off £ wise, I feel mightily unfit and permanently knackered (felt much better as a SAHM as had time to cook, eat and exercise).
I look haggered as well!
mine and DH’s libido is non existent, and when I get a day off all I want to do is sleep!

Being in your 40s means you didn't die in your 30s (or 20s) - not being flippant but reminding myself of that makes me grateful for every year!

That they are not your 60s. Believe me, when you get there you will wonder where the hell that 20 years went.

It’s not your 50s.

This attitude increases with age…..I’m loving it!