Please tell me good things about being in your 40s

[CalonHapus]

It's my 40th birthday today. I've started getting perimenopause symptoms in the past few months, and I'm finding it hard to feel particularly positive about this new decade. Are there any silver linings?

The best thing for me is being young enough to do everything I want to do, and my kids being old enough that I don't need to consider them in every decision I make.

We can go on a last minute holiday, just the two of us, out of term time, whenever we want! Night out? Sure, let's go!

It's a lovely window of opportunity to have 😊

This is very true ♥️

You have more money than your 20s and 30s and care less about what others think of you.

This is me too. It’s brilliant isn’t it!

Happy birthday!
I turned 40 at the end of last year and have had a great year being 40 so far. Just echoing what a lot of others have said really.
My 2 older dc are adults who drive so independent and helpful! My youngest is a chilled out teen and the older 2 are great with him, taking him out to do stuff during the holidays while dh and I are working.
have more disposable income now than my younger years despite having 2 at uni.
Have so much time to myself to pursue my own interests.
So much more freedom and flexibility.
Honestly I’ve had a wonderful time.
have lost weight because I can afford MJ and it’s had overwhelmingly positive effects on my health.
have a lovely day (and decade!!).

You become more confident (1) you can say no (2) call people out on their BS (3) set clear boundaries (4) stop being a people pleaser (5) dont waste time a users

generally you grow as a woman 🫶

You become more confident (1) you can say no (2) call people out on their BS (3) set clear boundaries (4) stop being a people pleaser (5) dont waste time a users

generally you grow as a woman 🫶

In addition to my previous post I’d like to add that the freedom in my 40’s is a big pendulum swing to having my children young, I didn’t spend my 20’s being carefree and we had hardly any money.
swings and roundabouts to having them younger versus older and not something for this thread to explore/derail but I think it’s why my 40’s or really just coincidentally this phase of my life is much easier and I feel freer in many ways.

Im 39 this year my list is.
Money is all mine.
My child as moved out.
Freedom.
Do what i want.
Dont care what others think.
I have more confidence.
Only responsible for me.

Yep, I'm much more time and money rich now than I was in my 20s due to having kids young(ish).

Best decade so far for me. Dd was at an age where I felt I got my life back. Joined a gym, took up cycling and painting, made some great new friends, massive promotion at work. The aches and pains aren’t great though 🙈😂

It’s better than your 60s ( believe me) Your still young and you are just a little bit older and definitely wiser!

Me too had my child young so i bounced right back.

Everybody , every single person in the world acknowledges and treats you like an adult . ( apart from maybe parents ) you have a certain ‘card carrying adult’ air about you in your 40s . But you’re not yet old. It’s a nice period. also lots of men who were unattractive when younger can sort of grow into their looks , and likewise women who weren’t particularly pretty when younger can blossom into really attractive mid lifers. Faces softening aren’t always a bad thing. It’s easy to look stylish rather than fashionable , there are different expectations from you, people assume you’re competent 😂 . You can take life’s shifts and have take a second crack at things you thought you had missed out on.
i had a bit of a wobble in my late forties perimenopause hit hard left my long term job, moved house, but 51 now just lost 4 stone and completed an access course and just finished my first year at uni. Hopefully on my way to my ‘ one that got away career ‘ Less kids at home, not more money yet unfortunately but in 3 years when I’m earning again we should be in a good position and have even less kids at home . We’re thinking about downsizing to a narrow boat and might even actually do it !
your 40s is the time to start thinking n about your future , the next bit, it’s just stage 2, embrace it.

Happy Birthday, hope your day goes fabulously.

I loved being 40, really loved it. I still felt young and fit. My kids were at a much more manageable age, my parents and in-laws were all well and independent and I was still at work and earning well.

I am in my early 50's now and let's just say I long to be back in my 40's. Neck deep in horrible perimenopausal symptoms, one in-law has passed away, the other is facing major surgery which has a high mortality rate. My mum is in the late stages of dementia and I am now one of her carers which is far from fun. I feel old, knackered and worn out.

Definitely go and have a blast in your 40's.

46 and LOVE my 40s

For me :
Debts paid off

Teenage sons are fun and increasingly independent.

Lots of fun holidays with companions that can mostly fend for themselves.

Peri surge in sex drive, tonnes of exciting sex.

I belive I m more or less thru menopause now, Havnt had a period in 3 months, and sporadic before then, it feels like an achievement to have completed most of the (turbulent) transition. Completed the zone of chaos, so to speak.

Have worked thru some family politics, and can view it with better perspective now.

Give less or almost 0 fucks of other people s opinions of me.

I know to be wary of other people s influence, they may be working through their midlife journey, and not be healthy company. I m less of a people pleaser and value myself more.

youll feel better than you do in your 50s… sigh

Kids being independent and so much free time!

I loved my forties - divorced and started living life again with my fellow divorcees (nights out and holidays)

Word of warning though - if you haven't done before then this is the decade to focus on your health and fitness as it gets increasingly difficult as you hurtle towards your fifties. Join a gym, start pilates or yoga and strength training - it's the best thing you'll ever do for yourself ❤️💪

Confidence, more senior at work, people look up to you. But still able to go out and have a good time! You know who your friends are by this age and value your (probably smaller) group more, but you're close as you've known each other so long. You don't care what others think and you're comfortable in your skin! I love being older actually!

You are not dead. Getting older is much better than the alternative.

This is quite depressing as not many of those positives are present if you have young DCs. I have a young DC and contemplating another. Peri has arrived, I think and I'm not as fit as I want or need to be and despite huge efforts, it's a struggle! I also never have enough time for anything, I'm well organised and in a decent job but the seniority of the role makes it really demanding alongside mothering and trying to have a life. I am richer, yes, but also so tired a lot of the time and rushed off my feet, pretending all is calm on the outside because I need to lead by example. It's really hard for me behind the scenes though!!

How do you make it a good decade if your children aren't independent yet and all the bad stuff hits you physically and mentally (peri/meno)?

My 40s have been a total car crash and easily the worst decade of my life. However, good things are knowing yourself more and being less bothered about what people think.

I think it all depends on life circumstances. Some people are still in the young kids phase if they’ve had them later.
I turned 40 the year before Covid so feel i lost a couple of years of my early 40s in that time: i also developed anxiety at that time. Working though covid in the NHS was tough.

We’ve lost a FIL this year and i’ve spent a lot more time doing things for and caring for-dad as his mobility is declining quickly. Which is really hard to see that elder phase kick in.

Perimenopaise… different for everyone. Mines symptomatic but manageable atm. More health conscious, focus on nutrition and movement a lot more tho i was active before. Cant be arsed chasing friends/people as much. Much more happy to stay home than go out.

Notice changes in my body more aches and pains etc. the face ageing kicked in also, esp around 44/45.

I loved my thirties, i felt young and had a ball and met my partner. Forties are fine but mine haven’t been as amazing as some have listed. Doing all the things we enjoy and living a life that we can affford. But the additional stuff does make it harder.