Have you ever had somebody invite themselves to stay for a few days where you live?

Kikimusnik · 2025-08-18T15:41:42+00:00

I moved away from my hometown 3 years ago. A few weeks ago I had a Facebook message from a person I went to school with, we did have mutual friends and worked together at one point when we were a lot younger, we were friendly also. (Drifted apart over the years which is natural I suppose) Like I say I moved away and don't speak to this person or have their number etc, I was so shocked to receive a message from her saying perhaps she could come and visit me?! Bare in mind I've not seen her for a good 7 years or so, I was so shocked how cheeky someone could be to just message out of the blue when I don't see her regularly and we aren't friends anymore! I did politely tell her that no thanks it wouldn't work for me! After that she moaned that the travelling would be too much and that I live too far away apparently 🤣😆 I find it so rude, why do people invite themselves! Has anybody else ever had something similar happen?

HelpMeGetThrough · 18/08/2025 16:48

Had a work colleague try it. They were visiting the town I live in for a holiday and tried to invite themselves to my house. It’s the only time I decided “No is a complete sentence”.

MamaElephantMama · 18/08/2025 16:52

I’ve had something similar crop up over the past couple of weeks.

An old friend kept asking if they could stay at my house a handful of times between September and December to save them booking a hotel room knowing I don’t have a spare room. Their solution was to have a blow up bed in my living room and they were insistent that I wouldn’t even notice they were there. It took a handful of times of me saying no for them to stop asking.

Coconutter24 · 18/08/2025 16:56

If I liked the person and wouldn’t mind seeing them then I’d of just said “it’d be lovely to meet up one day. Let me know what hotel your staying at and when and I’ll try arrange something”
Someone I’ve not seen in years or spoken to would not be staying in my house. Very cheeky of her to invite herself

Original poster

Kikimusnik · 18/08/2025 17:13

Coconutter24 · 18/08/2025 16:56

If I liked the person and wouldn’t mind seeing them then I’d of just said “it’d be lovely to meet up one day. Let me know what hotel your staying at and when and I’ll try arrange something”
Someone I’ve not seen in years or spoken to would not be staying in my house. Very cheeky of her to invite herself

Exactly that! It's very different if it's a good friend coming to visit that you are in touch with and see when you can but otherwise it's so rude and a bit bizarre.

She doesn't have any children or a partner, whereas I have 2 children and a partner,

Changes the dynamics for sure in those circumstances!

I'm not sure what she was expecting from me, it would have been a bit awkward and we don't have anything in common really...

By what she posts on social media she is very lonely and doesn't have many friends it seems..

OP posts:

TheChosenTwo · 18/08/2025 17:17

Yes I’ve had plenty of people invite themselves to stay and always accepted because I was keen to catch up myself.

But I’ve never had an out of the blue request from a vague acquaintance to use my facilities and I wouldn’t accept it they did, how rude!

Cravey · 18/08/2025 17:23

We live in a tourist area and have a pub, the amount of people who think they can come stay for free is shocking. Over the years I’ve learnt to give people a price for b&b, they soon go elsewhere. Like the op quite often it’s people we have not seen or heard from for a long time.

Coconutter24 · 18/08/2025 17:46

Kikimusnik · 18/08/2025 17:13

Exactly that! It's very different if it's a good friend coming to visit that you are in touch with and see when you can but otherwise it's so rude and a bit bizarre.

She doesn't have any children or a partner, whereas I have 2 children and a partner,

Changes the dynamics for sure in those circumstances!

I'm not sure what she was expecting from me, it would have been a bit awkward and we don't have anything in common really...

By what she posts on social media she is very lonely and doesn't have many friends it seems..

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Do you live in a nice area or somewhere people would visit for a holiday? That’s the only reason I can think of someone doing this for a free holiday

Original poster

Kikimusnik · 18/08/2025 17:51

Coconutter24 · 18/08/2025 17:46

Do you live in a nice area or somewhere people would visit for a holiday? That’s the only reason I can think of someone doing this for a free holiday

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I think it's lovely but other people might not 🤣 I live in Sheffield!

OP posts:

GreenClock · 18/08/2025 17:59

I’ve lived in several places and have had a few cheeky visit requests out of the blue. But all of them came when I was living in central London or by the beach in Wales. Funny that.

ThisCatCanHop · 18/08/2025 18:00

Yeah, all the cheeky requests I’ve had came from when I was living in zone 3. Interestingly, they clearly haven’t cottoned on I’m now within 15 minutes drive of a major airport 😂

Floranan · 18/08/2025 18:03

I share a bungalow with my brothers in a very nice sea side town, the amount of people who ask to use it ! my brother did say yes to one friend (after checking with all of us ) apparently they were going to a wedding near etc etc so DB said yes they could use it for the weekend. SIL said never again, they phoned just after arriving to say the beds weren’t made and there was no food just a few tea bags etc, she had told them the set up, it’s shared we all take stuff as we need it, the bedding is spare just in case. She had told them they would need their own stuff but are welcome to using it if they need to but please leave the place as they found it because other DB going down on the Monday for a few days. When they arrived the beds had been just left after how they slept in them, takeaway boxes left in the living room, kitchen and bathroom a mess ! We all learnt to say no after that.

i found that most people want it during the school holidays which of course when we want to use it, they can get quite sulky when you explain that 4 of us own it and we all have families that use it.

DiscoBob · 18/08/2025 18:03

I wouldn't necessarily accept it. But if it was someone I liked a lot and missed there's a chance I would. If it was convenient and I had space. I'd see it as a compliment really. Just for a couple nights so we could catch up properly if they lived far away.

I did have one friend who used to call me and ask to stay at mine. I sometimes let them, but I got suspicious about how frequently it was happening. It transpired they were literally homeless. Sleeping rough. Really sad situation but there wasn't much I could do as they couldn't move in.

I'm sure that isn't anything to do with what your friend is thinking. Would you want to visit them?

Gliblet · 18/08/2025 18:10

Coconutter24 · 18/08/2025 16:56

If I liked the person and wouldn’t mind seeing them then I’d of just said “it’d be lovely to meet up one day. Let me know what hotel your staying at and when and I’ll try arrange something”
Someone I’ve not seen in years or spoken to would not be staying in my house. Very cheeky of her to invite herself

Absolutely, but then whenever I've contacted people I haven't seen for a while and suggested meeting up I've led with 'I'm going to be staying at (hotel) and wondered if you might be free for lunch/dinner/cocktails/chaos (depending on the historical friendship 😆 )' rather than trying to weasel my way into their spare room 😁

ObtuseMoose · 18/08/2025 18:19

I had a friend inform me that she'd booked flights and a hotel to come and visit me a few Christmases ago, I made a thread about it and everyone thought it was a lovely thing for her to do even though I didn't have time for her and had other plans. Some people tried to spin it that I was the unreasonable one, I got a lot of stupid comments tbh.

BreadInCaptivity · 18/08/2025 18:22

Yes.

Live a village with a short bus/cycle ride away from a lovely UK destination city. No, I won’t say where other than not London.

Lucky to have a big house and happy to host good friends and family when it’s convenient for us.

But yes we do get random SM messages from people DH and I have not seen in years and who were only acquaintances at best to say - sometimes for protracted periods.

I’ve got used to being very blunt and having a ready reply of links to recommended hotels/apartments etc.

Strangely enough the enthusiasm to catch up with us is eradicated once free accommodation isn’t on offer and we never hear from them again.

Best one was a former (from 10 years ago) colleague of DH whose DS was about to attend higher education in the city. They’d come for dinner once along with a few other couples (and had a good old nosey around).

Wanted free term time accommodation for their child for 3 years but generously offered £20 a week to cover everything (this included food btw). They said they couldn’t believe how ideal it was especially as we have multiple spare rooms so they could come a visit for a few weeks over the holidays each year 😂.

That one did not get the standard reply….😂

MeandBobbyMcGoo · 18/08/2025 18:28

Yes, get this often. We live in Edinburgh and during the festival it's even worse - friends' of friends would contact us! I'm very good just saying 'no, sorry' now.

Yolo12345 · 18/08/2025 18:28

I get this all the time. A former colleague wanted to chat and catch up with me recently - I was flattered but then the conversation quickly turned that she wanted to visit for me a weekend.

Coconutter24 · 18/08/2025 18:40

Kikimusnik · 18/08/2025 17:51

I think it's lovely but other people might not 🤣 I live in Sheffield!

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Oh definitely not a lovely seaside resort I was imagining haha. Maybe it’s the loneliness then that she is suffering from

Coconutter24 · 18/08/2025 18:42

Gliblet · 18/08/2025 18:10

Absolutely, but then whenever I've contacted people I haven't seen for a while and suggested meeting up I've led with 'I'm going to be staying at (hotel) and wondered if you might be free for lunch/dinner/cocktails/chaos (depending on the historical friendship 😆 )' rather than trying to weasel my way into their spare room 😁

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I always suggest a bar or restaurant to meet someone but it sounds like OPs friend didn’t start the conversation with that so if someone did that I’d definitely ask where they are staying or something

Movinghouseatlast · 18/08/2025 19:00

Yes! Someone I worked with many years ago. We lived very close but we're never really 'friends', more acquaintances. We'd chat when we saw each other but I've probably not spent more than 2 hours with her at a stretch before.

She invited herself and husband to stay,i nsisted we pick them up from the airport a 3 hour round trip away. They had booked the flights so we had no choice in the matter, despite me saying it would be better if they got the train as the train station is closer. Of course that also meant they didn't have a car so wanted us to ferry them about. I put my foot down about this so sent them off for days out but they constantly moaned- they had planned NOTHING and expected us to tell them where to go and what to do.

They did take us out for a meal one night, but other than that we provided all food and drink for 4 days. We ended up going out with them for 2 days so paid for petrol, parking- they didn't offer anything. Didn't bring or buy any wine and drank a lot of ours.

Basically their holiday cost us about £150. Her attitude was very much that they'd paid for flights etc to come to see us as if we were close friends so our 'contribution ' was the food, wine, petrol, parking. It really was very odd as we hadn't seen them for nearly 4 years.

Dweetfidilove · 18/08/2025 19:14

My mom, sister and my nephews. Never a random ☹️.

NotMyRealAccount · 18/08/2025 19:21

Yes. DH and I like having house guests, though we're clear in advance that unless the visit is to do activities together we won't be fussing over them or providing entertainment, and if they think the house is grubby they're welcome to clean it themselves. We both grew up in an "open house" environment. It's actually how we got together, as divorced parents with children of similar ages.

I may have committed the solecism of inviting myself to stay with people for a few days on multiple occasions in the past. I hope I was never a difficult person to have around.

FrangipaniBlue · 18/08/2025 20:25

Movinghouseatlast · 18/08/2025 19:00

Yes! Someone I worked with many years ago. We lived very close but we're never really 'friends', more acquaintances. We'd chat when we saw each other but I've probably not spent more than 2 hours with her at a stretch before.

She invited herself and husband to stay,i nsisted we pick them up from the airport a 3 hour round trip away. They had booked the flights so we had no choice in the matter, despite me saying it would be better if they got the train as the train station is closer. Of course that also meant they didn't have a car so wanted us to ferry them about. I put my foot down about this so sent them off for days out but they constantly moaned- they had planned NOTHING and expected us to tell them where to go and what to do.

They did take us out for a meal one night, but other than that we provided all food and drink for 4 days. We ended up going out with them for 2 days so paid for petrol, parking- they didn't offer anything. Didn't bring or buy any wine and drank a lot of ours.

Basically their holiday cost us about £150. Her attitude was very much that they'd paid for flights etc to come to see us as if we were close friends so our 'contribution ' was the food, wine, petrol, parking. It really was very odd as we hadn't seen them for nearly 4 years.

Of course you had a choice!!

The fact they booked flights without checking with you was not your problem, I would have had no qualms whatsoever telling them “no”.

Gliblet · 18/08/2025 21:33

Movinghouseatlast · 18/08/2025 19:00

Yes! Someone I worked with many years ago. We lived very close but we're never really 'friends', more acquaintances. We'd chat when we saw each other but I've probably not spent more than 2 hours with her at a stretch before.

She invited herself and husband to stay,i nsisted we pick them up from the airport a 3 hour round trip away. They had booked the flights so we had no choice in the matter, despite me saying it would be better if they got the train as the train station is closer. Of course that also meant they didn't have a car so wanted us to ferry them about. I put my foot down about this so sent them off for days out but they constantly moaned- they had planned NOTHING and expected us to tell them where to go and what to do.

They did take us out for a meal one night, but other than that we provided all food and drink for 4 days. We ended up going out with them for 2 days so paid for petrol, parking- they didn't offer anything. Didn't bring or buy any wine and drank a lot of ours.

Basically their holiday cost us about £150. Her attitude was very much that they'd paid for flights etc to come to see us as if we were close friends so our 'contribution ' was the food, wine, petrol, parking. It really was very odd as we hadn't seen them for nearly 4 years.

I almost admire that level of brazen ability to swan into a room with a bulletproof attitude of 'My very presence is a gift you lucky little pleb' 😆 Just awful.

thebluehour · 18/08/2025 22:00

Cravey · 18/08/2025 17:23

We live in a tourist area and have a pub, the amount of people who think they can come stay for free is shocking. Over the years I’ve learnt to give people a price for b&b, they soon go elsewhere. Like the op quite often it’s people we have not seen or heard from for a long time.

Don't have a pub, but live in a tourist area and an extraordinary number of people I've not had so much as a cup of tea with before have invited (or heavily hinted I should make the invitation) themselves to come and stay at my house.