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Original poster

Was it fair?

43 replies

munat · 17/08/2025 11:58

Our family of four booked an Airbnb with my friend for a week. She told that she will take part on the accommodation expenses. Well then her friend was coming in the middle of the week and camping in a tent on the Airbnb grounds. This was all planned. When I was discussing about her paying her part she said she goes to tent as well for three nights and therefore won’t pay for those nights. She would have used our toilet and shower. I didn’t agree so the friends went to camping site. I got my money though as a sham I don’t have much money and had calculated her contribution to the total cost. She spent three days in camping site. I am not happy as she still thinks has right.

OP posts:
OrigamiOwls · 17/08/2025 12:10

I'm a bit confused - you mention "she" is that your friend or your friends friend?
Was it supposed to be your family of 4 + just your friend, or her family as well?

MounjaroMounjaro · 17/08/2025 12:14

So has this already happened?

ohbee · 17/08/2025 12:17

You said no to your friends friend using the toilet and shower?

Arlanymor · 17/08/2025 12:20

Well it was totally understandable for the both of them to go to a camping site if you wouldn't give them access to the toilet and shower - and of course they wouldn't pay for something they didn't use. It sounds like when the plans changed slightly you didn't all sit down and work out what it meant in terms of contributions and who could use what. If you couldn't afford it alone then that should have been the point at which to say: "If you can't contribute X amount then we either need to find somewhere cheaper or we need a shorter stay." I don't understand lamenting over the horse when it's bolted the stable...

Original poster
munat · 17/08/2025 12:24

We were me and my family, my friend as a single and her friend.

i am annoyed that there was no discussion about going to the tent before the holiday

OP posts:
MuddyPawsIndoors · 17/08/2025 12:26

munat · 17/08/2025 12:24

We were me and my family, my friend as a single and her friend.

i am annoyed that there was no discussion about going to the tent before the holiday

When I was discussing about her paying her part she said she goes to tent as well for three nights and therefore won’t pay for those nights.

So this was said on the actual holiday?

DiscoBob · 17/08/2025 12:26

It seems like the issue lies in the fact your friend seemingly agreed to chip in for whole holiday, but then changed their mind and wanted to sleep in their friends tent, therefore not paying for the house for those days?

Well, she went to a campsite and didn't use the house for those days so there's no reason she should pay. If she'd stayed and used the facilities then maybe, but she didn't.

So there's nothing you can do about it really. I mean what do you expect her to do? You'll just have to not invite her next time. It doesn't sound like you're that fond of her anyway.

Original poster
munat · 17/08/2025 12:29

MuddyPawsIndoors · 17/08/2025 12:26

When I was discussing about her paying her part she said she goes to tent as well for three nights and therefore won’t pay for those nights.

So this was said on the actual holiday?

Show quote history

Yes

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 17/08/2025 12:31

No, it wasn't fair.

She should have honoured her agreement with you.

But there is nothing you can do about it now so I'd just move on and forget about it. Don't invite her anywhere else.

MuddyPawsIndoors · 17/08/2025 12:31

munat · 17/08/2025 12:29

Yes

Show quote history

Why didn't you take payment from her before you all went on holiday?

Arlanymor · 17/08/2025 12:32

Oh so she randomly changed plans in the middle of the holiday? She should have honoured her original contribution in that case, she doesn't just get to change plans arbitrarily. Sounds like she did pay though - was this during the holiday or after?

arethereanyleftatall · 17/08/2025 12:33

How many guests did the Airbnb allow? How many beds did they have?

user2848502016 · 17/08/2025 12:36

I don’t think it was fair because she backed out on the agreement and just expected you to cover the whole cost. You could have booked a smaller/cheaper airBnB to begin with if your friend wasn’t going to be staying there.

ohbee · 17/08/2025 12:42

Arlanymor · 17/08/2025 12:32

Oh so she randomly changed plans in the middle of the holiday? She should have honoured her original contribution in that case, she doesn't just get to change plans arbitrarily. Sounds like she did pay though - was this during the holiday or after?

It sounds like she only changed plans because OP said her freind couldn’t use the toilet and shower without paying?

Arlanymor · 17/08/2025 12:45

ohbee · 17/08/2025 12:42

It sounds like she only changed plans because OP said her freind couldn’t use the toilet and shower without paying?

Show quote history

It's not clear is it? Could have been:

A. "My friend is coming to stay and I am going to stay with her in the tent so I am not paying for 'accommodation' as I am not sleeping in the building."

B. "My friend is coming to stay and I am going to stay with her in the tent. If we can't have access to the toilet and shower, then I am not paying."

I'm really not clear which it is... Either way, it's poor form to randomly say in the middle of a holiday that someone else is rocking up with a tent. Unless they are all really close friends and there is form for last-minute surprises/changes. Does that make sense?

MuddyPawsIndoors · 17/08/2025 12:49

The OP has said they were already on holiday when her friend announced the plans and that she wouldn't be paying as much as she'd said she would.

Quite why the OP didn't get payment from her before they went away, I don't know.

bumbaloo · 17/08/2025 12:50

ohbee · 17/08/2025 12:17

You said no to your friends friend using the toilet and shower?

The OP was pointing out that the friend who decided she wasn’t paying would still be using the house facilities like the toilet and shower so shouldn’t think just changing plans and sleeping in the second friend’s tent in the garden of the AirBnB absolved her from paying her share of the rental.

bloody cheek. Agree to share costs. Then invites someone else to pitch a tent in the garden and says because she’s sleeping in the tent she shouldn’t have to pay. Even though
a) the tent is in the garden so the OP has provided the land
b) they would be using the facilities of the house.

CFers

bumbaloo · 17/08/2025 12:53

DiscoBob · 17/08/2025 12:26

It seems like the issue lies in the fact your friend seemingly agreed to chip in for whole holiday, but then changed their mind and wanted to sleep in their friends tent, therefore not paying for the house for those days?

Well, she went to a campsite and didn't use the house for those days so there's no reason she should pay. If she'd stayed and used the facilities then maybe, but she didn't.

So there's nothing you can do about it really. I mean what do you expect her to do? You'll just have to not invite her next time. It doesn't sound like you're that fond of her anyway.

If she agreed to pay she should pay. It’s not the OPs responsibility if she changed her plans mid week.

The AirBnB was booked on the basis of her being one of the people paying.

Would you book a villa with friends, calculate the costs based on staying then mid week change your plans and refuse to pay what you agreed and just expect the remaining people to cover ?

CF if you would

DiscoBob · 17/08/2025 12:58

bumbaloo · 17/08/2025 12:53

If she agreed to pay she should pay. It’s not the OPs responsibility if she changed her plans mid week.

The AirBnB was booked on the basis of her being one of the people paying.

Would you book a villa with friends, calculate the costs based on staying then mid week change your plans and refuse to pay what you agreed and just expect the remaining people to cover ?

CF if you would

Show quote history

No I wouldn't. But OP says it was arranged that the friend would have another friend in a tent. And OP basically kicked them out of the house.

But maybe she should pay if that was definitely the agreement before everything was booked. Whether it's worth losing a friendship over is another matter.

Original poster
munat · 17/08/2025 13:02

Yes she did change her plans in the middle of the week. She thinks she could do it as she could have stayed free with her relative nearby.

OP posts:
IfYoureLeavingTakeMeToo · 17/08/2025 13:24

DiscoBob · 17/08/2025 12:26

It seems like the issue lies in the fact your friend seemingly agreed to chip in for whole holiday, but then changed their mind and wanted to sleep in their friends tent, therefore not paying for the house for those days?

Well, she went to a campsite and didn't use the house for those days so there's no reason she should pay. If she'd stayed and used the facilities then maybe, but she didn't.

So there's nothing you can do about it really. I mean what do you expect her to do? You'll just have to not invite her next time. It doesn't sound like you're that fond of her anyway.

OP booked based on sharing the cost - friend cannot just change it halfway through - while actually on the holiday , as this means OP now has to find more money

DiscoBob · 17/08/2025 13:32

IfYoureLeavingTakeMeToo · 17/08/2025 13:24

OP booked based on sharing the cost - friend cannot just change it halfway through - while actually on the holiday , as this means OP now has to find more money

Show quote history

Yeah, I'm starting to feel like she should pay.

bumbaloo · 17/08/2025 13:49

DiscoBob · 17/08/2025 12:58

No I wouldn't. But OP says it was arranged that the friend would have another friend in a tent. And OP basically kicked them out of the house.

But maybe she should pay if that was definitely the agreement before everything was booked. Whether it's worth losing a friendship over is another matter.

Show quote history

Are you reading a completely different post?

basically kicked them out?? WTF you get that from. The OP CLEARLY says

i am annoyed that there was no discussion about going to the tent before the holiday

You are one of those people who make bits up and base your opinions on the bits you made up 🤣

it’s very clear that there was a plan and that plan involved friend 1 paying part of the costs. Then friend 1 invited friend 2 to pitch a tent in the garden. Then friend 1 decided to sleep in the tent but use the house facilities and use this as an excuse not to pay her agreed upon share.

Original poster
munat · 17/08/2025 13:59

she paid after I told her that it was part of budget but she still thinks she is right. I am not sure if our friendship can continue.

OP posts:
Original poster
munat · 17/08/2025 14:27

We were planning to go for holiday in canaries this winter together but I can’t see it happening now. I can’t trust her.

OP posts: