Genuine question - if you are slim do you feel hungry on a regular basis?

[Cruisebaby]

I'm genuinely curious about this and please, no responses of the 'I have two salad leaves a day and I'm full' variety!

The reason I ask is that although I'm not overweight, I do feel permanently dumpy. Not helped by being 5'3 and having 32G boobs admittedly and even though I've lost a little weight in the last few months I'm struggling to shift any more. I'm currently 9 st 7 and a sort of appley hourglass if that makes any sense.

What prompted my question is that I had lunch with a friend today who is the same age as me (late 50s) but very slim. The sort of slim where there is no excess fat at all and I am sure that every single item of clothing she tries on just fits without issue. When it came to ordering, she chose the lowest calorie item from the starter section and was adamant that was all she needed. Rather than look like a total glutton I also ordered a small meal but was bloody starving by mid afternoon. When I think about it, I rarely see her eat much and in situations where others might have a biscuit she will just sip on water or eat a few nuts.

It's left me wondering, is eating like that what it takes? I love my food but I really hate my body shape now and even regular strength training seems to make little impact. Is it possible to happy and ravenous at the same time? 😩

When I was younger, I could eat a lot and stay slim. Now menopausal and can't be very active due to physical issues, yes I am hungry a large part of the time. If I eat high protein and lower carb though, the food noise settles down and I'm just left with the empty stomach feeling which doesn't have much emotional impact, if you see what I mean.

A standard day's food (as requested up the thread):
Breakfast: muesli, full-fat milk and live yoghurt, fruit
Lunch: poached eggs on avocado toast (always high protein lunch)
Evening: fish/chicken with brown rice and 3 veg (depending on season), usually fruit and yoghurt for dessert.
I know that if I have something sugary, my blood sugar will peak and crash and I'll feel ravenous so I don't have sugary snacks. Only low-GI foods.

It's disappointing to see people imply overweight people are gorging on whole packets of biscuits etc. That wasn't the case at all for me. It was a combination of eating more food (albeit healthy) because the steroids made me ravenous, being too unwell to exercise (I could barely walk due to my illness flaring) and water retention from heavy steroids. When I came off the steroids a decent chunk of the weight just slipped off. And people would congratulate me like it was a fucking accomplishment.

It's depressing that we accept medication can help people lose weight but won't accept that weight gain can be caused by medication, even when it is right there in the list of side effects. I hated being judged and even have rude abuse shouted at me about my steroid weight when I was fighting a battle for my life

I’ve tried several times to give up sugar, and the difference when I’m eating it, and when I’ve lost the craving for it is huge. I’ve been off it over a year this time, and I’m a bit militant about avoiding it, because I don’t want to have to resist 2-3 weeks of cravings.

Without sugar, when I get hungry, it’s more of a vague sensation. It wouldn’t overly bother me to miss a meal if I had to, or eat a bit later. And I’m much more inclined to desire vegetables, salads, darker carbs, lean meat. When I’m eating sugar, hunger feels like I’m about to starve or pass out. I’d suffer if I had to skip a meal. I’m more drawn to pastas, pizza, fast food - those kind of foods just seem more appetising.

I’ve always been strongly aware of satiety signals - dh and dd aren’t, and need to wait about 20 mins after a meal to start to feel full. I get to a point where it’s hard to eat another a bite. Whereas they would polish off anything in reach. Both struggle with their weight a bit. Ds takes after me, and struggles to put on weight.

I feel less hungry in my 40s than in my teens-30s. I think having teenagers has really hammered that home. But I guess I was either growing; growing humans; recovery from growing humans for most of that time. Now my body's in slow decline.

I look slim, but bmi is 22-23. I'm up for work at 6, so have to eat, otherwise I won't make it until 1 for lunch.

I would say i feel hungry after about 4 or 5 hours after a meal. But I don't think i eat huge amounts. Yoghurt for lunch, salad+ protein lunch. Veggie tea. My downfall is sugary snacks and alcohol. I wouldn't miss crisps if they died out tomorrow.

I'm a bit dubious about 'food noise' because surely humans, animals, all have that. Basic survival. When am I going to eat? What am I eating? Where's it coming from? I've never understood people who forget to eat, because meals kind of underpin my whole day. With an added layer of: is this good for me? If I eat shit today, can I balance it with x tomorrow? Do I need 2 puddings?

When I was very slim (a small size 10 for years) I was a naturally small eater and hardly ever actually felt hungry. The mere sight of a big, heaped up plate of food would turn me right off.

I wish I could still say the same! But at the time, I once had a so-called friend spread it around that I was anorexic. TBH I was flabbergasted. But she was one of those overweight people who are permanently on a diet they never stick to, and IMO was simply unable to believe that anyone had a naturally small appetite and wasn’t purposely denying themselves foods they actually wanted.

@Cruisebaby not so long ago I used to ask exactly the same question. I struggled with my weight from my early teens onwards and I'm mid-50s now. I could not understand how people could be slim, unless they were in a constant state of deprivation just eating rice cakes and lettuce leaves. Last year I took Mounjaro for 7 months and I have totally changed my approach to eating.

I am now a slim person. I have been off Mounjaro completely for 5 months and my weight has stayed the same. I am only hungry coming up to meal times. I eat 3 meals a day and they are normal sized meals, not lettuce leaves.

What I have dealt with is recognising that I wasn't eating nearly enough protein previously. Eating enough protein means that I don't feel hungry. If I don't eat enough and am therefore consuming more carbs, I will feel hungry and really quickly. I also thought that I was hungry when I was angry, tired, sad, bored, irritated, disappointed etc etc etc. I wasn't hungry at all, I was just trying to not feel the feelings by distracting myself with eating instead. I also used to see food as "treats" or "rewards" and those treats or rewards were actually crappy food that was really bad for me, like crisps, cake, biscuits, chocolate bars etc. Those things aren't treats at all and they certainly aren't rewarding anything, other than the manufacturers!!!!

Mounjaro gave me the chance to recognise all of this stuff and completely change my approach to food and be a healthy, slim person with food in a normal place and not the near constant obsession it used to be.

I’m 5’4 and just barely over 7 stone/102lbs and have always been very slender. I don’t really have an ounce of fat on me and I eat whatever I want.

That being said, I’m rarely hungry. I often don’t eat until past noon and breakfast makes me nauseous. I will eat as soon as I notice I’m hungry or I’ll set an arbitrary time to eat because otherwise I’ll just forget and end up with a headache. I also only eat to about 80% full and cannot eat past full anyway.

We were at a restaurant and my mum and DH were deciding on dessert and asked what I might have and I said, “Oh, I’m not hungry for dessert” and my mum replied “what does hunger have to do with dessert?” and DH agreed. Even though they were both full they planned to have the treat. The idea made me feel nauseous.

I eat whatever I want without restriction whenever I want generally, but it tends to naturally be small portions and I don’t really get many or any hunger cues.

Just had lunch and still feeling peckish and still a normal weight

the differences in diet are almost certainly marginal

It’s constant. And I’ve too had partners who didn’t think about food until the evening, I just couldn’t understand it. But they both smoked.
I think about food while I’m still asleep 😂
Interestingly one was thin and one was fat. The latter had one big fatty meal at the end of the day, but that’s all. That’s why I think starvation mode is a thing, his metabolism must have been so slow.

No. I am quite anxious and stress makes me lose my appetite so if I have a busy day at work I just forget to eat it or I just don’t feel hungry. But I love food and sweets so I’m not uninterested in food in general.

Why would you be dubious about something. Clearly mounjaro etc are doing something pretty tremendous for a lot of people.
I experienced what I would say is roughly the converse of what mounjaro etc do when I was out on steroids. I too don't like eating till I am full. But I had never experienced the constantly ravenous sensation that I experienced on steroids. It wasn't like a mild desire for a snack it was like a painful horrible hunger.

It's always so easy to assume everyone experiences the same food signals /sensations etc and that it's just a difference in will power /a moral failing. But thanks to my experience with steroids I learnt that actually maybe we shouldn't judge others as we don't live in their bodies

I am not a better or more strong willed person now, I am just a person who no longer is controlled by whatever steroids were doing to my body

Yes that dessert thing is like me. I’m not restricting myself, I’m not saying no because of the calories, I’m not looking at it wishing I was eating it, I’m not thinking about my weight or clothes size. I’ll have it if I want it. I won’t if I don’t. And often I don’t, because I’m full. Eating once I’m full removes any enjoyment from it for me anyway.

I’m 5 foot 3, and weigh around 8 stone 4, so BMI around 21. So slim but not thin, I’d say. I’m definitely hungry some of the time. And tbh I think I’ve just accepted that I’m not naturally thin and so if I want to be the weight I want to be hunger is a part of the deal.

Having said that, doing this for years means I’m now pretty good at judging my level of hunger. I know what level of hunger is acceptable to me (eg rumbly tummy for a couple of hours before a meal) and also when I’m pushing it too far (eg getting a bad headache and unable to concentrate because I haven’t eaten).

I do find it tiring tbh. In the past when I’ve experimented with eating more and responding quicker to my hunger cues I find my weight settled around 9.5-10 stone. Which felt too big for me, and so all things considered a bit of hunger is a price I’m willing to pay for being a weight I’m comfortable with.

@Aspanielstolemysanity I think situations like yours are the exception. Most over weight people I know are in denial about how much they eat. I have so many friends who seem to think it’s not a lot to snack between every meal and that a brisk walk a day is enough to balance out a bad diet. People will not accept that they probably have to feel hungry in order to lose weight.

From what I read on Mumsnet, most slim women (especially post child bearing) maintain their slimness through obsession and control around what they eat all the time.

There are likely lots of slim women who don't do this but I guess they aren't posting detailed descriptions of their daily diets and exercise regimes on MN.

I have made the conscious decision to not obsess. I'm not overweight and luckily enjoy exercise anyway but if my body changes as I get older that's fine and normal.

I'm slim (now) but I'm often hungry. I eat quite a lot of protein, veg, high volume meals but I am often hungry. Or rather, I think I am. I think about food all the time and honestly, it's a battle and I don't think I have a good relationship with food at all. I put on weight very easily since I hit my 50s too.

I would love to be able to eat until I'm 80% full, but I have no idea what that feels like. I don't know that I'm full until I've eaten too much and feel bloated.

I meal plan and eat what I plan for because that's the only way I seem to be able to maintain any kind of reasonable weight now. I feel so much better mentally when I'm slim, so if that's what it takes, that's what I do.

From what I read on Mumsnet, most slim women (especially post child bearing) maintain their slimness through obsession and control around what they eat all the time.

I kind of agree, but I think the heart of the matter is that what different people think of as ‘obsession and control’ when it comes to diet is a very wide spectrum! And will be affected by what each individual thinks of as their norm.

One person might feel they’re ‘obsessing and controlling’ over their diet as they’re making a effort to eat less than their previous 2500 calories a day, reducing to one takeaway a week, and cutting out chocolate, for example. And feeling hungry sometimes.

While another person whose norm is to watch their weight and keep to around 1500 calories a day, and who views chocolate and takeaways as occasional treats, isn’t going to feel they’re being ‘obsessive and controlling’ as they’re just doing what they always do.

I eat 3 meals a day and no snacks, I feel hunger when its time for the next meal, this is normal and is nothing to be scared of. I keep busy and do not think about food in between times.

Yes I get hungry - that's completely normal. What I don't do is overeat. So I stick to around 1600 calories a day. If I'm not hungry, I may snack rather than have a meal.

But yes, I do get hungry but I've learned that's okay, I'm not going to starve.

Possibly. But due to groups for my condition (and similar conditions) I know that massive steroid weight gain is not unusual. And doctors and pharmaceutical companies agree with me. Yet we don't just have to deal with our health condition and the medication side effects, we also have to suffer the awful nasty judgements and stigma

Wow, I wasn't expecting so many replies, thank you all so much. I've just read through them all and really appreciate everyone's insights and you've given me a lot to think about.

Some people asked a few questions about my lifestyle etc, so a bit more info. Late 50s, 9st 7, 5ft 3.5, size 32G boobs (more on them later🙄). I started a weight training programme 6 months ago and am progressing well I think. Not massive weights but more than I could do before and it's an instructor led programme so I'm always being challenged to increase to heavier weights. Also do pilates/yoga once or twice a week and walk an average of 55/65K steps a week (trying to get that to 70 but struggling).

Diet wise, breakfast is generally high protein yogurt and fruit, lunch will be salad or a sandwich if I'm out and about and dinner is generally chicken, veg and carbs like new potatoes. My downfall is chocolate. I usually have a couple of squares after lunch (dark 75%) and also dinner, and also most likely a chocolate biscuit with tea mid morning. So, I can see that's about 350 excess calories a day that I don't need (but also don't want to suck all the joy out of life!). Alcohol intake is pretty low, just a couple of glasses of wine once a week.

There's two big issues for me I think. The first is that - I know this sounds odd - but I genuinely fear feeling hunger when there will be no food available. I know it will make me snappy to those around me and I won't be able to concentrate or function well. Worst case scenario is being a passenger in a car in this situation when I'll get terrible motion sickness. Linked to this, I am convinced my need for sweet treats stems from childhood. My parents ate very sensibly (and still do), and sweets were viewed as a treat that you could have a little of now and then, certainly not before a meal and then only if you'd cleared your plate. The minute I left home I took great joy in eating sweets whenever I pleased. I often think of this when I read women on MN saying they strictly ration sweets with their children - it's not necessarily the right approach.

The second issue is what I feel is my disproportionately large bust. I've lost half a stone in the last 8 months but my bras were still uncomfortable. I went to get fitted, only to be told my cup size had actually increased and that this can happen through menopause to some women. I've just tried on a few dresses that were delivered this morning, they are all size 10 and fit well until I try to zip over my chest. If I size up, everything is too big on the hips and shoulders. I think I've felt worse about all this in the hot weather as they make me feel so uncomfortable. I'm embarrassed to say I even googled reduction surgery but I wouldn't be brave enough to do this.

Anyway, sorry for the essay and thank you so much for all your thoughts. I think I'll work on the portion control/protein levels/chocolate rationing. I also need to think more about what clothes work best for me. When I went for lunch yesterday, I did make an effort to look smart and felt good when I left, only to feel like a complete heffalump next to my friend!

I think there's a grey area between "naturally thin" and how people control (possibly even subconsciously although i think there are a lot with ED on MN) what they eat.

Lots of people on this and other threads say they are naturally thin.....but really dont feel hungry/only eat one meal a day/love salad/hate chocolate and carbs etc. Are they naturally thin because they don't like those things, or would they be naturally thin anyway, if they ate 3 meals a day, or pork pies and macdonalds regularly?

But maybe as well as size and build being genetic, maybe hunger and appetite is as well. My mum was overweight or obese as long as I can remember. But all her family were. She and her brother were born in the 1940s when rationing was still in place but their parents, and they as children were overweight (from what I've seen in photos) so not eating all day, or lots of upfs.
I'm sure it's mainly luck that I'm not overweight. I don't think I eat significantly less than my mum used to eat, although i do more exercise. My bmi is 21.5 but I look quite chunky because I'm short

I’m reasonably slim. Petite and always have been. Around a size 10.
I get hungry and eat three meals a day. Would have whatever I fancied off a menu and pudding if I wanted.
I eat all food groups.
I don’t overeat though and try and b a bit mindful of the amount of treat foods I’m eating etc. my digestive system does help me out though as it tells me if I’ve eaten too
much crap and puts me off eating more til I’ve been more sensible for a while!