If you have family staying in yours/your children's rooms

[ishimbob]

Settle a disagreement between me and DH!

If you have family staying (for a few days to a week) and you or your children are giving up their rooms, DH thinks you should pack a suitcase and get all the stuff that you might need out of the room for the duration so that you don't have to go in there.

I think - you should obviously take out the things you need on a daily basis (like your hairbrush), but it's fine to pop in once a day (at a time when you know you won't disturb them) to pick out clothes you need etc.

Who is right?

Rightio.

It’s Normal in working class circles where no one expects others to be rich enough to have large houses, or to be able to afford a hotel ,and they have respect for age so the younger people ( assuming no big issues) camp out somewhere or bunk up together

you really are unkind to your children as camping out in a strange room was always such great fun!

It's never been 'normal' in my working class circles.
Also, please don't judge my parenting, which you know nothing about.

Don’t tell me what to do or say or think / that’s not how this works

Absolutely not. It’s not always feasible to live out of a suitcase for a week in one’s own home.

I’m with you OP

you are doing the guest a favour by accommodating them.

Perhaps don't make sweeping and judgemental statements about random folk then. 🫣

I wouldn't expect someone to not go in that room for the sake of getting a more suitable piece of clothing. What are they expected to actually pretend to be on holiday and unable to access their things?

I just go into the room if i need something. If they want a entire private room they can pay for a hotel, i’m not running one!

To clear a few things up:

We do have a spare room - which is what 1-2 people staying will use. Except for MIL who can't manage that room for mobility reasons - we are happy to swap with her for a few days at a time tj allow her to have more quality time with us/our kids

Our kids only ever give up one of their rooms if we have another family with kids staying - they then share for a few days which they are of an age to enjoy. Or sometimes if the visiting children are cousins or kids they are close to, they will share with them.

If my kids were ever unhappy to share, I wouldn't force them into it. I do think banishing them completely from their room when they have given it up to a guest would sour them on the idea TBH

I am not constantly popping in and out, I wait for a convenient moment when I know they aren't in there.

So you do it not your kids? Fair enough, all too often it seems parents are happy to have guest while it's the kids who lose their beds,bedrooms.

Well you're demonstrating that by giving up your bed for your guests. No need for the kids to do it.

This basically is my DH's view.

I am just not going to tell my son he can't go into his own room to get a book he fancies reading or an extra jumper

I couldn’t bear having anyone stay for that long!! But I’d expect a bit of both, few clothes and personal items but expect access when free in the room to get items needed