I also felt Lucy was guilty to start off with. I thought that it seemed too much of a coincidence that she was there for all the deaths and also that they stopped once she was taken off the ward. The only thing that initially confused me was that she had a childhood friend willing to support her. I thought that was odd because most serial killers and psychopaths are simply not able to maintain long term friendships in this way.
But at the time I just thought that was another of the terrible and strange things about the case. I read a long newpaper article about the case in which one of the consultants was interviewed and I thought how brave he was and how awful it was that the doctors hadn't been believed by the managers to start off with and had even been accused of bullying Lucy. I thought Sunak had a point when he was angry Lucy hadn't been made to attend her sentencing.
Then a few months later I was chatting to a friend who works in healthcare who said she thought Lucy was probably innocent. I was quite surprised as she is a thoughtful and rational person so we had a chat about it. I mentioned Lucy had always been present for all the deaths, which had been unexpected, and that they had stopped when she had been removed from the ward. My friend then told me that the unit had been downgraded so that it didn't take such sick babies at the same time Lucy was suspended, so that could also explain why babies stopped dying.
At that point I realised something was really wrong with the way the case was being reported in the media as I had read quite a bit about it, but this very relevant piece of information, had not been mentioned. Instead a big deal had been made about the deaths stopping once she was suspended.
Later on I read the New Yorker article and some pieces in Private Eye and my position started to shift. I began to think that maybe Lucy was still guilty but it was difficult to be sure and perhaps her trial hadn't been fair.
Then I watched the press conference with Shoo Lee and all the other experts. At the end of that I thought, oh fuck, she's actually completely innocent isn't she? And all the information I have been able to find out since then has confirmed that opinion.
I now see all sorts of things differently. That obviously the managers weren't keen to act because there wasn't any evidence and not because they were uniquely dreadful people. That type of thing.
It has made me feel quite silly tbh. It shows how easy it is to be manipulated by the media. I thought I was quite a savvy person. I realised that the case against Amanda Knox was insane quite quickly. But then again there are still people in Perugia to this day that are convinced she is guilty.
I can see quite a few reasons why people wouldn't want to change their minds other than wanting someone to hate which was never a motivation for me . To start with you have to admit you have been fooled. Some of that overblown initial reporting feels almost like falling for a scam if you believed it at the time as I did.
It is also a scary thing to acknowledge as it shakes your confidence in so many institutions you trusted to keep you safe and to tell you the truth. The courts, the police, doctors, the NHS, the BBC, your favourite newspaper etc.