What’s the most unhinged/blatantly untrue thing you’ve been told by a health visitor?

[claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer]

Inspired by the health visitor who confidently told me yesterday that “Pom bears have more saturated fat than a Big Mac” and the ones on a birth preparation course who stated “breast fed babies are 70% more intelligent” and “they didn’t have formula in dinosaur times!” (The latter is technically true I suppose…)

The HV who rocked up when we had our 4th baby was visibly put out when I told her that she was promoting bottle feeding by carrying all her stuff in a bag with COW AND GATE emblazoned on the side of it.

"No, I'm not", she said.

"Yes, you are", DH and I said.

She only came the once.

I do wonder if some of these "health visitors" were actually nursery nurses or hcas working within the health visiting team rather than qualified health visitors. I also think only midwives and paediatric nurses should become health visitors, many of the mental health/LD and adult nurses that become health visitors don't have enough experience of working with children. I know paeds nurse training is very family centred rather than patient centred meaning that they are more used to see the child and family as a unit

Asked if my b/g twins were identical (!)

WTF!

That I should just leave my (mixed race) baby screaming because “black babies cry more” 😳 turns out he had bad reflux and ended up on medication. Meant to report her and never did but always regretted not doing it. Silly woman. Apparently she just left all her kids to cry.

Some people shouldn’t be in a position to give advice to vulnerable new mums. Or anyone!

That breast fed babies only need to be fed every two hours.. well what an argument that turned into..
My baby my milk.. fed her on demand.

I was recommended crystal healing and cranial osteopathy for my baby, as if they were scientifically backed mainstream treatments and not total woo. I remember feeling as though I’d found myself in an alternative universe suddenly after having a baby, where suddenly old wives tales and all sorts of woo were accepted as fact.

It doesn't change the fact that it's fucking annoying either.

Because it's fucking stupid, nobody needs anyone to bite, comment or don't. Just feels like the person who comments "I'll bite" feels like they are superior or need an argument or something.

Yes I never realised this until I started working in family hubs but in my area HV only visited the vulnerable families everyone else got the not medically trained nursery nurses.

Mine told me to give my 4 month EBF baby who was constipated oranges, baked beans and carrots. Basically any orange coloured food was a good idea.

Constipation in an EBF baby that young is a red flag.

"Don't believe women. They lie."

Is a great way to improve public trust in HVs especially amongst women who have had a bad experience and are educated and intelligent enough to know they are being told utter bullshit.

These women know that they are lucky enough to be in this position but it often affects their confidence at a vulnerable time.

They also understand that a failure to be open to criticism puts more vulnerable and less educated women and their children at actual risk because it discourages complaints and whistleblowing about actively dangerous HVs. This is not consistent with safeguarding.

Your comment is unwelcome, unprofessional, patronising and frankly appalling and reflects the very issue that so many women recognise. Congratulations on being a example of the very problem we identify.

Because my DD was premature I had to take her to a child development centre when she was about two. The paediatrician was nasty, he implied that my then husband's job and my job and our socio-economic position was the cause of DD's prematurity. (I had pre-eclampsia, which has no known cause) Although we were supposed to go back for a follow-up appointment I said I wouldn't be returning, and stated why. It wasn't so nuch WHAT he said, but HOW he said it. Rude, arrogant man, I remember him still.

At a HV check-up the HV pointed out to me that I hadn't followed up the child development appointment. I said no because I don't like being accused of something that couldn't be proved, he was rude, he was arrogant, and I didn't want my child and myself to ever be alone in a room with him again. She started to defend the doctor and say for DDs sake, I go back! I said absolutely not. She then stated I was being a typical first time mother!

Needless to say, I didn't see her again either. I learned to cope from friends & family. By the time she was five, her school commented on well she was doing, and we hadn't made a big song and dance about her development to them. She's now about to start university.

What makes you think cranial osteopathy is woo! How very odd.

Why is it odd? It’s a known pseudoscience with no scientific evidence it has anything more than a placebo effect except possibly with some musculoskeletal conditions.

It’s classic woo.

@Ladedahlia I just read an article about cranial osteopathy describing its total lack of evidence base and saying it should no longer be taught - by an osteopath. I’m a huge believer in the placebo effect and that’s almost certainly what is going on with cranial osteopathy (in babies the effect is likely still to be on the paying customer, the parents).

DF was formula fed from birth as I had a medical issue that prevented me from breast-feeding. She developed quite severe reflux and the HV (having just watched me prepare and give a bottle) told me to remove spicy foods, garlic, onions and dairy from my diet so that DD wouldn’t react to them.
luckily I was on one of my more awake days at the time and just replied ‘how does my diet affect the aptimil?’

I stopped seeing the HV shortly afterwards (as soon as I could get away with it!) we moved when DD was 2 to a different area, and got caught by a new HV team - in their defence they were lovely and seemed competent but by then I was keen to keep my distance.

That was my issue with them. The advice they gave all seemed theoretical and tick box. What I needed was support and 'what worked for me'. For example they told me not to give a bottle of expressed milk while breastfeeding for six weeks. That resulted in him never taking a bottle and me not being able to leave him for more than a couple of hours until he was six months old. Gee thanks. Sorry but I didn't need someone who hadn't got her own kids and read everything from a book.

I swapped bottles and breast with my second from day 1, no problem.

The health visitor also cheerily went through the mental health form without looking at me while I lied at how great everything was. Just because I'm articulate and live in a nice house doesn't mean everything's fine.

I was just told by a HV to start putting my 10 month old on the potty at every nappy change because there are too many children starting school still in nappies 🤯

Ignore, whilst we do teach children to use the potty it also requires them to be developmentally ready. You can’t force it. Unless you want to spend your days hovering over a potty you’d be wasting your time.

I breast feed thread expressing only for a while because he just wasn't feeding otherwise.

The HV admitted they didn't have a clue how much breast milk he should have and that it was different to formula.

If been looking up volumes online and they pretty much went 'ah you probably know more than we do then' which I thought was really poor tbh.

DS eventually did start breastfeeding properly at 14 weeks. We've since found out it likely because he had tongue tie and a high mouth palette by this age they grow out of it. They'd told us that he only had a very slight tie and it wasn't worth doing anything about it.

Given they are supposed to encourage breastfeeding the lack of knowledge about breast milk from a bottle was something I found utterly useless tbh. Instead all the advice I got was well we only know about formula...

Google was much more helpful than the HV. By their own admission. AI will put most of them out of jobs.

I did ignore it, thanks ☺️
I have a 3 year old who was potty trained a few months before she turned 3 and it took her just a few days. Completely agree they need to be ready.
i just thought if it was said to a young, first time mum who wants to do everything right, it’s another thing to put on their plate that they don’t need.
I did feel for the HV a bit as she was very young and obviously just saying what she has been told to say but I honestly couldn’t believe it.

.

Don’t worry women already know that when they talk about awful things they experience there’s a good chance someone will tell them they are lying, or hormonal, or depressed or asking for it

Yes exactly can you imagine a first time mum trying to train their 10m old they would feel like a failure.