What’s the most unhinged/blatantly untrue thing you’ve been told by a health visitor?

[claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer]

Inspired by the health visitor who confidently told me yesterday that “Pom bears have more saturated fat than a Big Mac” and the ones on a birth preparation course who stated “breast fed babies are 70% more intelligent” and “they didn’t have formula in dinosaur times!” (The latter is technically true I suppose…)

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My first child was premature so I attended the midwives in the hospital after the birth while my ds was in scbu.
I had been bleeding really heavily (had to always sit on several towels in the car and at home). I was also passing huge clots; one of which I wrapped and took in to show them. It was dismissed as normal and not to fuss. I even passed out in scbu once while visiting my ds.
My DH was so concerned he called our GP who came out and immediately sent me by ambulance to hospital. I had been haemorrhaging as there were ‘retained products’ left after the birth while. A D&C sorted it.
The hv I had at home was wonderful and obviously cared for ds and me, she was a godsend with such a tiny baby to care for. It’s just a shame that the ones in the hospital were so awful.

Was she from the north? Its quite common where i live for people to pronounce it like that. Aswell as "lickle" for little. It is stupid but just a regional thing

Well, I suppose they have to ask.

The same way you're asked during your pregnancy by the midwife if you experience DV at home.

I just find it annoying if I'm asked every single time if I'm a drug user. I'm in my 30s, I don't smoke, I have never taken drugs, none of my friends take drugs. It is highly unlikely that I will start taking hard-core drugs now.

I am not a HV... I work in primary care.
Every month we have Safeguarding meetings to discuss babies/children at risk..

The HV are invaluable in safeguarding... these ARE the most vulnerable.
I'm sure there are crappy HV's like there are crappy everything but in terms of safeguarding they are money well spent.

How/why/when is everyone having all these health visitor visits?

We had two visits, the second/final one was an eight week check. Never heard from them since, and baby is one next month. Did it used to be different before Covid? Would they visit regularly?

I’ve done this with breast milk and it works

Maybe we should be more honest about what HV are there for and try to target their services more carefully. They seem to be expected to be experts in everything, but maybe should just be seen as there for safeguarding and picking up on developmental issues.

I think we should call it what it is though, and have them come in for a once over & leave if no issues. Not disguise them as people who are meant to be helping us and/or our babies. The community midwives are a million times more beneficial and could also raise safeguarding concerns from their visits.. Also I have a social worker friend who has tonnes of problems with HV’s denying children are failing to thrive in bad situations. I’m not saying all HV’s are rubbish, but proportionally it does seem like a bad spend of budget.

As an aside, I’ve never worked with any nurse who aspires to be a HV. The only actual good nurse I know who did it, hated it & went back to regular nursing. The others I know did it because they could no longer tolerate hospital work and/or wanted better hours. It’s not exactly conducive to gaining the best results is it!

You should get an appt for not long after your DC turns 1 for the 1 year development check and then again when they’re 2. They send you paperwork with tasks your child should be able to do and you tick ‘always, sometimes, never’ or something like that. I think it’s meant to highlight if there are any areas for concern, my DD was basically never for everything though and they said let’s see how she does at 2 years so god knows what the criteria for concern is.

How/why/when is everyone having all these health visitor visits?

I think it was different before covid - but areas have always varried I think.

I also think we triggered a flag in second location moving with a young baby and toddler due to DH job - and I get that.

However they were constantly asking leading questions tried to insist I must have pnd and ignored we were closer to family post move and they just made everything harder and it went on for the first year there despite fact within weeks - thanks to first child center we found staff - reguarly at groups and had GP sorted and did go to the weigh in clincs as they asked - so why keep they kept door stepping me in frist few months I've no idea. They also tried with third - as apparently us buying a house in intervening two years and moving again from rented so we were settled as eldest was about to start school and who had been in pre-school an entire year- was also odd.

I had good HV with first - it was a useful service - but I don't remember that as much as the awful one which could so easily have been a help but which made life harder when I was most vunerable and frankly I do even now resent a bit.

I've had the same when we moved before my 3rd was born.

Lots of questions why I moved to this area and if I have friends here.

@hotpotlover @NaughtyTortieOwner00 I had similar experiences to you both, also after a house move. I am a psychologist so I appreciate that it’s important to consider post partum mental health, but the questions I was asked were intrusive and repetitive. I was struggling with my health at the time, and have since received a serous diagnosis, but both HV’s were attempting to attribute my very real physical symptoms to PPD. As a mental health professional I find this so concerning.

Dunno, that gets my back up significantly less than the fact that the NHS advised you pack "healthy snacks" for during labour.

God forbid a woman have an unhealthy snack whilst she's pushing out a child. Those extra 200 calories might really push her over the edge.

Yes but all of this would have been avoided if the A&E doctor did the referral...which they can do.

That does sound extreme to say that about a 9 month old baby ! but equally I have had HVs assure me that it was too early to worry about a 22 month old with no speech ! He's an adult now still severely autistic and still non verbal. I realise they are not able to give a diagnosis but to dismiss genuine concerns isn't helpful either. I think we need better access to professional input when there are significant developmental 'delays' - again delay is an unhelpful word as unfortunately the gap just widened for my ds as he got older and there was no catching up like a late train - if only !! It's astonishing how little there is out for parents with children who don't develop typically.

What sort of milk? Breastmilk is very handy for that.

Exactly same as ds.
was told to give him what we wanted him to eat. Don’t let him eat his safe foods. He will eat when he’s hungry.

ds was then admitted and fed by tube. Later diagnosed with ASD and ARFID.

now experiencing same issues with my youngest and will never follow advice like that again.

If this is the case then a standard nursing training doesn't seem to be appropriate? Developmental issues are relatively limited in scope and safeguarding is more a social issue than medical.

A physician associate (as it happens, white and male) had a little argument with me about what ethnicity I should put for my kids (at the six week check). He spent a good 5-10 mins backing and forthing with me on that and had absolutely nothing to comment about my excessive lochia. Useless.

I'm mixed race but my kids look white because of dh so I had put "white british" on my older child's form. This guy hadn't even met my daughter but when he met me and my baby son he said I ought to change it because I'm mixed race so the kids are "technically" mixed race too. I'm like no one would even guess that looking at dd, she's almost blonde, I don't want her to be a misleading statistic or something. They clearly got dh's gene for skin colour. Grrr I'm still cross remembering him mansplaining to me when he ought to have been more curious about the lochia that I'd been suffering with.

Agreed. Surely a half of stout is no more risky than a shot of pethidine or whatever that you can get given. And if it helps you relax then that's a bonus. Let alone some crisps and chocolate!

Omg, I'm trying to imagine the outfit she'd put together if she could! 🦸🦹🕺🦉?

Breastmilk can actually be used for this and does work

Yes, they do have to ask - it's in their policies. And they have to ask every time as people's circumstances change.

Everyone would be moaning if they didn't and something happened to a baby as a result. Unfortunately a lot of healthcare is making sure things are ticked to cover yourself as the professional if disaster strikes later

It’s a shame the PA didn’t explain this properly. It can be helpful to understand if your DC may have different health risks due to your heritage. Conditions like diabetes and sickle-cell aren’t based on appearance as I’m sure you know.

Edited to change your DH to your