What’s the most unhinged/blatantly untrue thing you’ve been told by a health visitor?

[claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer]

Inspired by the health visitor who confidently told me yesterday that “Pom bears have more saturated fat than a Big Mac” and the ones on a birth preparation course who stated “breast fed babies are 70% more intelligent” and “they didn’t have formula in dinosaur times!” (The latter is technically true I suppose…)

That is fucking horrific and I'm so so sorry that happened to you. Speechless

I got told to do this at 4 months!

Also another one told me not to put coconut oil on the baby because it's an allergen. Lots of other mums were incredulous. I ended up doing two patch tests over two days, no reaction at all and have used it on his hair/cradle cap.

Did a baby first aid course and apparently things you put on skin can have no reaction but something going in your mouth can cause a reaction if you're allergic as you're actually ingesting it.

Not a health visitor but another school mum, ex nurse, talking about her newborn as we waited outside primary school for the infants… when someone commented that the baby had lovely eyes she replied that “of course babies see everything upside down for the first six months”. Cue several startled mums 😳

Honestly, health visitors. I get why they're there, but it never feels like they're there to support you, just there to check if your child is at risk.

And you know when you've just given birth, you've sacrificed and committed so much already for this child, you know, you've already proved so much as a parent, you feel like you're being interrogated and patronised. It just the worst timing ever.

They do, but for most babies it will correct before six months. Everyone sees upside down, but our brain chooses to correct the image.

My son was born 5 weeks early and spent a week in special care. Once home, he was very difficult to settle, cried constantly and had horrible nappies.

At 4 weeks I spoke to my HV, who told me he cried so much as I was mothering him too much.

The next week I spoke to another HV, who thought he may have a milk allergy. Within 24 hours of going on special milk, he stopped crying.

Once I started weaning him, the first HV told me to keep challenging him with milk every few weeks. I did a few times, then started ignoring her, as he started losing so much weight.

Thankfully it had no long term effect, he is now 19 and 6ft 2

Had I been told in advance that my HV would be a 23 year old jobsworth who didn't appear to like work very much, was excruciatingly inexperienced, if not incompetent, and that the service was optional, I'd have opted put at that point. I opted out when my son was 8 weeks old and knew I could - it was a challenge to find out I could opt out because this is not made clear. That is a significant problem imo. I opted out when dd was born - it was a much easier and happier time.

In relation to running late I accept that but the first words out of the latecomers mouth should be "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, is it still convenient for me to call". Secondly, the appointment was for 9am. It was the first appointment so the preceding one did not run over. If community workers start the day late, it has an impact on everyone else and it is not acceptable. I am rarely late for work because I leave sufficient time to get there. If I persistently kept stakeholders waiting due to poor timekeeping, and an innate lack of respect for others, I would be dismissed.

Duh. That's what those little arms are for.

I think you'd be criticising if they didn't do this and something happened to a baby or small child, not all parents are managing out there and not all families are ready to provide a safe and nurturing home.

Because so many women have posted about tremendous guilt related to bf/ff, I'm just going to post the following:

DS1 BF only until 8 weeks

4 months- severe bronchiolitis - hospitalised for a week
He was a fat happy wheezer and we got the wheezing under control with good advice once referred privately to the Royal Brompton
8 months - the ear infections started - 14 I think until he was grommetted at 16 months
12 months eczema
The asthma cleared up when he was 7.

DD BF until 9 months - no formula

Exactly as above but she was a summer baby so the bronchiolitis was at 7 months and the ear infections started closer to one. She was grommetted at 20 months. She had eczema too. She didn't have the underlying wheeze.

There was very little difference between the children in relation to all those niggling health issues, so often blamed on formula.

Wow a page to absolutely tear down Health Visitors from experiences up to 30 years ago. There is such a thing as opting out of the service and carrying on with your life.

And there's such a thing as expecting a service to improve if it's given thirty fucking years to improve.

My mum's maternity experience was shockingly similar to mine 34 years before I had a child myself - the fact that people report the same issues three decades later isn't the killer point you think it is.

Bizarre to think that recounting these experiences = not carrying on with your life.

Logic not even once.

You do realise when people start at 9am...it is not just a visit, they could receive an emergency phone call from a parent or agency but perhaps you lack this awareness as you deal with 'stakeholders' which is very different to working in the health service..hardly a job to compare against.

Did you complain rather than post it on mumsnet?

Yes I understand that - father is an optometrist- but she meant that the image that they “see” in their brains is upside down whereas, as you say, the brain corrects the original image to being the right way up.

Maybe if you have complaints ....send then to the health service not mumsnet....not a great deal is going to change by popping it on here is it

But of a long story but short version is:
I went to Gp ( appt for myself ) baby had a bruise on cheek had been starting to crawl and fell on the join between carpet and hard floor.
She asked me what happened I explained.
No more said.
Later on that day HV appeared at door no mention of bruise. Was nap time and baby was asleep . We briefly chatted
Took my son to scouts came home and social services and police at door
She had been asked by GP to visit to see if the baby could crawl.
She didn't. She said the baby can't crawl and phoned social services.
I demonstrated to police and social services she could crawl . They apologized.
End of saga
Well it should have been. The next day the
HV then phoned paediatrician about our babys weight .
And so the whole thing began again.
Social services blah blah .
And that was the short version!

@Peachee Why does women sharing their experiences bother you so much?

Simply scroll past the thread if you aren’t interested in the content.

I know that sounds bonkers, but in the 1940’s you could claim a bottle of stout whilst in hospital breastfeeding because it boosted iron. Crazy but true.

That oral thrush was unheard of in breast fed babies, and it must be a result of poor hygiene. She then on the next visit told me that she hated my baby’s name, and what on earth possessed me to have a child with a disabled person. I kicked her out and refused to have her back, vile woman.

I'd much rather social social services were involved Gulliver - people are quick to say why didn't anyone intervene? Until they do!

I've been called into school re safeguarding concerns with dc. I was thankful they took dc's conversation seriously enough to check everything was okay. (It was, he told the speech therapist I would chase him up the stairs smacking his bum. I absolutely did as a game of chase which I told them!) They actually would have been well within their right for a check up if they needed too.

I speak as an an ex care leaver/adoptee. The benchmark for good enough parenting is pretty low imo.

The saddest thing about this thread is that my experiences were 30 years ago. I complained formally at the time and my complaints were upheld, I even had a spell sitting on the PCG Board. There was to be reflection, better training, improvements, etc. I did achieve the appointment of the Trust's first lactation consultant.

It is deeply concerning that contemporaneous women are still complaining about the things that were wrong 30 years ago. Changes do need to happen.

I posted upthread that based on salary alone the cost of the HV service was £294m per annum. I shoukd have added on-costs (NI and NHS pension) which will add about 25%, so closer to £370m not including I suspect the HCAs who now do the weighing, etc. Probably in excess of £500m or put another way, half a billion pounds.

Health visitors? Do they come that often? Used to have to take DC to local centre for Wright ins and checks after a few visits.

@mylittlekomododragon my first baby had oral thrush and he was breastfed.
Shocking comments about your partner.