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Builder brings 12 year old daughter to work

398 replies

TinyBuddhettes · 02/08/2025 07:52

Childcare issues, I get it. This contractor/builder guy is doing up our drive. His daughter mostly stays in his van but yesterday I could see that she was operating the mini digger while he was recording her. This wasn't just a couple of minutes for a photo, it went on for maybe an hour. The two of them were frolicking and being quite stupid really. I was in disbelief watching from inside the house. Our drive is now all digged up and I don't want any awkwardness or the potential of him not finishing the job. Anyone know where we stand with the law? Can we say that from a legal point of view we do not consent to an under 16 being withing the bounds of our property at any point?

OP posts:
Waterbaby41 · 02/08/2025 13:54

I honestly have no idea what your problem is. Just let them get on with it or invite the youngster in.

Umidontknow · 02/08/2025 13:56

Are you paying a day rate or price for the job as a whole? I'd only be annoyed if he was on a day rate.

saltandvinegarchipsticks · 02/08/2025 13:57

Itstwelveoclocksomewhere · 02/08/2025 13:45

I would see this as the ultimate in unprofessionalism.

Take her or lose a days pay. Then obviously he loses a day's pay.

Exactly. Surely he can’t expect a full day’s pay even if he had the client’s permission to take her, as he can hardly concentrate on work with a two year old to supervise.

thepastinsidethepresent · 02/08/2025 13:58

Nicaveron · 02/08/2025 11:33

Maybe the girl would be happy to come in the house and watch tv with you or maybe sit in the back garden with you and chat.
Or do you NOT like kids.
I’m sure she’d be happy to have a cold drink and a chat if you welcomed her.

Would you make that suggestion if OP was male? Bet you wouldn't.

BuildbyNumbere · 02/08/2025 13:59

You need to speak to him about it. Legally she shouldn’t be operating the digger and any damages caused by her to your property, including injuries to her or a third party, will not be covered under his insurance. If you are paying a price for the job rather than a day rate then it if the job takes longer it’s him that’s losing money.
I’d speak to him and say you are not happy with her operating plant on your property. In terms of leaving for toilets breaks etc, again, that’s his issue. I wouldn’t get involved, he should have included costs for a portaloo in his price if required.

BuildbyNumbere · 02/08/2025 14:02

Nicaveron · 02/08/2025 11:33

Maybe the girl would be happy to come in the house and watch tv with you or maybe sit in the back garden with you and chat.
Or do you NOT like kids.
I’m sure she’d be happy to have a cold drink and a chat if you welcomed her.

Don’t be ridiculous … she paying for someone to carry out work at her property. This does not involve providing childcare.

tinyspiny · 02/08/2025 14:02

ManteesRock · 02/08/2025 13:37

Good on him! I see builders doing this with their son's all the time and no one bats an eyelid!
And where do you think he should go if he needs the toilet if you don't want him to use yours?

I wouldn’t want a child be it a boy or girl doing work on my property that I am paying for , I’m paying for a professional to do the job .

Sandyoldelbows · 02/08/2025 14:05

Manatees- you are saying that you see 12 year old boys playing on mini-diggers on other people’s drives while their dads film them ‘all the time’. Really? I have never seen a 12 year old operating machinery at their dad’s place of work. I have perhaps once or twice seen a lad with their dad sitting nearby, passing stuff. And occasionally seen boys going out on small working fishing boats ( but owned by their dads), driving tractors on their own farms - but never on someone else’s property.

I truly don’t believe that it is commonplace to have kids operating machinery at work.

JemimaTiggywinkles · 02/08/2025 14:07

Leave them to it unless you’re paying a day rate. I wouldn’t invite her in as that’s not your responsibility but I think it’s a good thing when secondary age kids go to work like this. Round here it is usually a son, but I don’t see why it should be different if it’s a daughter. I learned to drive tractors around that age and while I never went into farming having confidence with machinery has been very useful at times.

Terrribletwos · 02/08/2025 14:09

TinyBuddhettes · 02/08/2025 08:58

He has asked to use my bathroom and honestly, I won't even go there, that's a different thread. At times I see the van gone and I am assumed he goes home so his daughter can use the bathroom.

It's illegal for his daughter of 12 to be on-site. He sounds irresponsible and quite foolish.

Fionuala · 02/08/2025 14:10

say you're not happy that she is accompanying him. If anything happened to her on your property u could be liable. Tell him this and tell him it puts you in a difficult position and you don't like it.

Terrribletwos · 02/08/2025 14:10

JemimaTiggywinkles · 02/08/2025 14:07

Leave them to it unless you’re paying a day rate. I wouldn’t invite her in as that’s not your responsibility but I think it’s a good thing when secondary age kids go to work like this. Round here it is usually a son, but I don’t see why it should be different if it’s a daughter. I learned to drive tractors around that age and while I never went into farming having confidence with machinery has been very useful at times.

It's illegal.

Limehawkmoth · 02/08/2025 14:11

Pompom12 · 02/08/2025 09:04

Going against the grain here, but if your goal is to get him to finish quickly and clear off..have you considered asking her into your house at the times while you're there and giving her the TV to watch so that she is both safe and not a distraction. He might speed up.

😱 why on earth would she do that?
he’s more likely to spin job out because he’s found someone to child mind his kid!

what if she breaks something, has an accident , takes something (yep kids do help themselves to stuff sometimes -they’re not all angels

plus it is her private space ..wfh or not.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 02/08/2025 14:12

user3827 · 02/08/2025 11:52

I think my idea of a 12 yr old is more capable than other people’s ideas… showing kids work experience is great imo

But then mine has been using a knife since 3 and helps with chores at home. He doesn’t goto kids activities he does family ones. We are not a kid friendly society, intolerant of their presence yet baby them at the same time

Edited

@user3827 you are deflecting and being obtuse - you didn't answer the question that was asked.

For NHS shift workers, we all know childcare is harder than for most.

Would you be happy if you had a pre-booked medical appointment that may involve an internal examination and your medical practitioner had their child around?

Let's not be deliberately silly.

The OP @TinyBuddhettes is WORKING. Yes from home, but working. In fact, she is not even able to "juggle" her own children that is why she has made childcare arrangements for them. Clearly, because she needs to work.

She is not there to provide comforts/entertainments for a random child. Especially without prior discussion. If the builder had at least asked that would have been a bit better.

On the using the toilet though @TinyBuddhettes I think it's totally inhumane to deny someone toilet access when they are spending hours at your property. But as you said, thread for another day. I think it's awful, horrible behaviour to not let someone doing work for you use the toilet.

dogcatkitten · 02/08/2025 14:16

Where did you find him? Is it a known contracting firm in the area, or someone who comes knocking doors and paid in cash. If for instance they are travelling people picking up work wherever, the children often are in the van or helping out with the work and I wouldn't mess with them. And as said above if he has nowhere else for her to go your job may just stop if you complain, even if he is fully legit and just dealing with a childcare problem.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 02/08/2025 14:17

A memory: back in the olden days (80’s) we were getting an extension built. I was not happy it was the summer holidays and couldn’t go in the garden to sit and work on my tan. I was 12, and this was very important to me.
First day in, one of the team told my dad he’d been ‘lumbered’ with looking after his 9 year old daughter and my dad said…
Oh don’t worry, Peggy can look after her every day she’s got nothing better to do.
I was livid, stuck with a ‘little kid’ and there was me, wanting to be a nearly teenager.
Ended up getting all of my Sindy doll stuff out of the loft, ended up doing all sorts, making our own comics, going to the park, singing into a little tape recorder. Not once did anyone ever ask me what I was doing or where we were going when we went out.
We ended up being really good friends but obviously she used to pull the ‘babysitter’ card.
Times are so different now….

BopItWinner · 02/08/2025 14:19

Mumsnet is mad. Why the fuck should the OP invite this child into her house, to watch tv and chat? She’s paying for a job to be done, she isn’t providing childcare. Absolutely batshit.

MyLittleNest · 02/08/2025 14:21

While I feel bad for the child, this is outrageously unprofessional on the contractor's part and I would be very uncomfortable with this situation. It's one thing to bring his daughter by after hours to drop off equipment or something, like a quick stop by your house. But what you are describing is entirely different.

I am baffled by the people who suggest you let the child come sit inside your house all day. You are PAYING this man to do a job. You could have hired someone else. You did not agree to this arrangement, you work full time, from home, and you should not feel guilted or obligated to provide childcare because the man you hired can't find any.

There is also a huge liability issue here if anything were to happen to that child if you let her inside your home!

I'd fire him.

LittleBitofBread · 02/08/2025 14:21

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 02/08/2025 14:17

A memory: back in the olden days (80’s) we were getting an extension built. I was not happy it was the summer holidays and couldn’t go in the garden to sit and work on my tan. I was 12, and this was very important to me.
First day in, one of the team told my dad he’d been ‘lumbered’ with looking after his 9 year old daughter and my dad said…
Oh don’t worry, Peggy can look after her every day she’s got nothing better to do.
I was livid, stuck with a ‘little kid’ and there was me, wanting to be a nearly teenager.
Ended up getting all of my Sindy doll stuff out of the loft, ended up doing all sorts, making our own comics, going to the park, singing into a little tape recorder. Not once did anyone ever ask me what I was doing or where we were going when we went out.
We ended up being really good friends but obviously she used to pull the ‘babysitter’ card.
Times are so different now….

🙄Have you not understood? The OP is WORKING, not on school summer holidays.

Isobel201 · 02/08/2025 14:28

I can't believe some of the responses on here suggesting OP can entertain a child whilst her driveway is being done.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 02/08/2025 14:29

LittleBitofBread · 02/08/2025 14:21

🙄Have you not understood? The OP is WORKING, not on school summer holidays.

Of course I understand.
I am saying how times have changed.
Luckily for me, and my friend, it was all ok.
But her dad saw her as someone he got ‘lumbered with’ and my dad volunteered my services for four long weeks without asking.
I have said nobody asked where we were or what we were doing - it was just taken as read that a babysitter had been ‘sorted’ and the men could get along working.
We could go out for hours, nobody asked where we went, a cult leader could have stolen us.
What’s my point? At least this young girl isn’t being passed off as a nuisance for a woman or girl to solve, she seems well behaved and her dad has tried to engage with her.
Not ideal, but getting anyone to any job right now is tough.
I had someone come to do some work on my garden last year. My pride and joy. He brought his daughter. She took all the covers off my gorgeous furniture and laid herself out on it, Doc Martens with mud on and all, with not a thought to if it was okay.
I went out and told her it was not okay. She covered it all up… and then lay on top of the covers.
Let’s just say… not invited back!

Limehawkmoth · 02/08/2025 14:29

It’s very difficult op. I’ve had 3 buidling jobs on my property in last 5 years, as it’s a money sink crap house, and builders/electricians behaviour these days is piss taking bizarre

and you’re right, trades these days will either not show up and not tell you, dragging job out for weeks or months or tell you you’re unreasonable and walk off without completing project. Favoured trick for those on staged payments, wait till you’ve got 90% of money, construct an abusive argument, so customer says don’t darker doorstep and they walk off happily with 30% of jobbstill to do. Or try to. So, you end up walking on egg shells around issues, and allowing them to get away with it - especially if like me you’re a single middle aged woman,

so I’ve had builders that had dog in van, let out to dump in my garden without consent. Seemed surprised when I objected. Said they’d done it before and I’d not compa,Ines. That’s because I’d not been there to see them do this. Luckily a sub contractor so told contractor to tell him to keep dog in van, or better leave it with a dog sitter

bulders that didn’t clean the house of debris attend of job and refused to come to do it, meaning I had to purchase PPE and equipment myself to do it just to get carpets down .

scaffold and skips left on property for weeks

debris strewn about the lawn - including rubble that still, 3 years later, buggers up my lawn mower.

Pissing in outside drain directly outside kitchen without using hose pipe and in full view 🤢 of my lovely elderly neighbour. Even when there was porta loo - when challenged he said it was dirty.

electrician who would turn up with face like thunder, then if you made mistake of asking if everything was ok, spent next 30 mins bending your ear about state of his marriage and what a bitch his wife was. Or same electrician who had misfortune of running over his phone with his car, braking down in his car, having a bump in his car all within 2 weeks as beingcreaosn he wasn’t their actually working. Or another electrician with random mate who came in and just chatted . I asked if he was Electrican or beigng paid to work, nope, just here keeping my mate company 🤦🏼‍♀️

Oh, god, I could go on

bottom line, if it was me I’d say lightly, with slight laugh “I’m surprised your insurance and work place regs are covered for your daughter working on site at her age? Does she do that often? “ to let him know you’ve clocked, have concners, and are thinking about legal situation. Don’t answer anything he says, just hmmm.. and walk away …hopefully he’ll pick up vibes you’re monitoring. Otherwise just leave it. If you say anything direct to him as your main contractor, you do risk him deciding he’ll work on something else over school holidays and stop appearing at your, until daughter goes back to school.

Itstwelveoclocksomewhere · 02/08/2025 14:32

tinyspiny · 02/08/2025 14:02

I wouldn’t want a child be it a boy or girl doing work on my property that I am paying for , I’m paying for a professional to do the job .

This is it in a nutshell.

If it was a family friend coming over to fix a problem and they brought their kid with them, fair enough.
But this man is going to invoice the OP for a professional job.
There are all sorts of jobs that people could bring their kids along but don't because it isn't professional.
And a non professional shouldn't expect to get fully paid.

LittleBitofBread · 02/08/2025 14:34

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 02/08/2025 14:29

Of course I understand.
I am saying how times have changed.
Luckily for me, and my friend, it was all ok.
But her dad saw her as someone he got ‘lumbered with’ and my dad volunteered my services for four long weeks without asking.
I have said nobody asked where we were or what we were doing - it was just taken as read that a babysitter had been ‘sorted’ and the men could get along working.
We could go out for hours, nobody asked where we went, a cult leader could have stolen us.
What’s my point? At least this young girl isn’t being passed off as a nuisance for a woman or girl to solve, she seems well behaved and her dad has tried to engage with her.
Not ideal, but getting anyone to any job right now is tough.
I had someone come to do some work on my garden last year. My pride and joy. He brought his daughter. She took all the covers off my gorgeous furniture and laid herself out on it, Doc Martens with mud on and all, with not a thought to if it was okay.
I went out and told her it was not okay. She covered it all up… and then lay on top of the covers.
Let’s just say… not invited back!

Edited

at least this young girl isn’t being passed off as a nuisance for a woman or girl to solve, she seems well behaved and her dad has tried to engage with her.
If her dad is playing with her/supervising her using the digger for an hour at a time, as the OP says, it's definitely impacting on the efficiency and time with which he's doing the job. If he's being paid a day or hour rate then it's impacting her even more and she absolutely IS being a nuisance for a woman to solve/take the impact of.

Apocketfilledwithposies · 02/08/2025 14:35

Are you paying her by the day or just to get the job done?

If it's the former you need to discuss his child being there being a distraction, if it's the latter I'd shut the blinds and try and not get riled up about it and hope he finishes soon.

It's really irresponsible of him. I'd be annoyed too but I'd just want the job finished and then wouldn't hire him again or recommend him to anyone.