Misunderstandings you had as a child

[NoEffingWay]

When I was little, there was a florist near my house. It had beautiful displays of flowers, and I used to spend ages looking in the window. What I really wanted to do was save my 20p a week pocket money and buy my Mum some flowers. Not just any flowers but the ones that said ‘Mum’ on them. I was in my teens before I realised these were for funeral cars . Luckily for my mum, there was a sweet shop next door where I spent my 20p on sweets every week so I never even asked!

I must have seen a news programme about refugees because we went on holiday one year on the ferry to France and I saw lots of people sleeping on chairs (we had a cabin) with their bags around them and I thought they were all fleeing a war zone…, and then went we went to the accommodation (a site like euro camp) where we had a caravan but other people were camping (I’d never camped) I thought the same and ask my parents where the war was and why they were all on holiday with us 😳

My parents booked a Fly-Drive holiday to Florida, and I thought we'd drive our own car on, like a ferry trip.

My grandparents lived near a brewery and sometimes when I visited them there would be a strong smell coming from it. I thought that my granddad had put aftershave on and that was what I was smelling!

I thought couples had sex once when they got married and this would activate them getting children and then they'd automatically get a child every year or 2 until God decided they had had enough.

In fairness to me, I grew up in Ireland where children weren't given much sex ed - I only fully understood when I did biology in secondary school aged 13.

I also thought that a period was like an egg of blood and you needed to wear pads to catch it.

I really was disturbingly ill-informed.

I also thought the shop was Whi-Smith. My Dad studied for a MPhil in his 40s when I was small and as his name was Philip I assumed they gave everyone an abbreviation of their name as a reward for their studies.

I was puzzled by the Clark’s shoe shop sign, which they’d clearly misspelled as ‘Clanks’.

I thought that when people died they would come back as a skeleton. I remember being really worried that I wouldn't recognise my mother because all skeletons look the same. Upon reflection I think I got my information from the Funny Bones series.

I also thought that when women were pregnant and the baby 'came out of the tummy' the doctor could see all of the person's food in there.

Not me but my DC. I remember when our neighbour had her third child my two, who were similar age to her older two, (about 2 and 4), were really staring at her chest. After she’d gone, I asked them why they’d been staring. They replied: when will she grow her third boob? They thought that a woman had a boob per child. I had two because I had two children. Now that she had 3, they thought she’d grow a third one 😂

It was.

I remember being in my first year of school and the teacher mentioning the school holidays and thinking I must take my bucket and spade.
I also thought when my mum went to the gym she was meeting a person called Jim.

Indeed it was, the Church of England; but it kept many of the traditions of the Catholic Church. Some people joke nowadays that it’s more Catholic than the Catholic Church, with incense, robed choirs, etc.

That reminded me of DS, who was completely disgusted on buying his first house in his mid-twenties, to discover that his 5% interest rate was an annual payment, not 5% over the lifetime of his 25 year mortgage! 😂

Being raised as a nonconformist, I was quite puzzled while attending Choral Evensongs in cathedrals when on holiday (fun thing to do with kids on a rainy day😂) by the Creed what they meant by the ‘holy catholic Church’ . And Anglocatholics. I believe it considers itself to be both Protestant and Catholic - but not ‘Roman’.

Not me but my son. He was about 6 and We lived near a cemetery so we’d see hearses on a regular basis and my son had asked what they were and I thought I’d had told him in a truthful but age appropriate way. The next time we saw one , he said “ oh I know what that is , don’t I mummy, it’s when you die and they chuck you on the bonfire “ Lost in translation possibly 😂

If that were two, imagine the mum of the Radford’s children!

😂😂

I thought that when you became an adult you had to choose whether you wanted to be a man or a woman. Guess I was ahead of the times 🤣

There was a convent near where I lived, with a little woodland by the side. It had a sign saying 'trespassers will be prosecuted'.
I didn't know what trespassing was but I thought it must be a terrible sin because we had to ask for our trespasses to be forgiven in assembly every morning when we said the Lords's prayer.

My DS asked what's the difference between catholics and prostitutes 😂

DM exclaimed one day 'ooh the sweets have arrived'.
Bounced downstairs so excited - she had actually bought sweets and there was a big lorry bringing them.

No, the suites, as in sofa suites, had arrived. I was fuming!

I used to order 'Chinese balls' from the takeaway. Had no idea what they were and what maybe 15 when I realised they were prawn. I never ate prawn and would have been horrified.

Actually love prawns now.

I thought grown ups just DTD when they wanted a baby. So my parents only did it twice whereas our neighbours had 7 kids so their parents had done it 7 times.

Oh gosh, that doesn’t bear thinking about 😂

I was about 12 and my mum was getting ready for a fancy dress party. I meant to tell her she looked hilarious, but I got the word wrong and said 'hideous' instead. It resulted in such a big horrible argument, she was absolutely furious with me and didn't really speak to me for a few days 😥

When my parents said they were going to decorate my bedroom I got excited imagining streamers/balloons/glittery things like christmas and birthday decorations and was disappointed to find out it just meant boring paint and wallpaper. Although I'd love that now 🙂

Related to this, my DNiece saw a large war memorial with marble wall panels, and was told the names carved on it were people "who died in the war". She confused war and wall and thought the people were entombed in the walls of the memorial.