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Original poster

Misunderstandings you had as a child

206 replies

NoEffingWay · 01/08/2025 20:15

When I was little, there was a florist near my house. It had beautiful displays of flowers, and I used to spend ages looking in the window. What I really wanted to do was save my 20p a week pocket money and buy my Mum some flowers. Not just any flowers but the ones that said ‘Mum’ on them. I was in my teens before I realised these were for funeral cars Blush. Luckily for my mum, there was a sweet shop next door where I spent my 20p on sweets every week so I never even asked!

OP posts:
CaptainCallisto · 02/08/2025 07:08

There used to be a large sign behind the counter at the newsagents that read "Shoplifters will be prosecuted!" that filled me with absolute terror. I'd got prosecuted and executed muddled up, and I thought Mr Jackson (who was just grumpy enough to make it plausible) would chop your head off with an axe if you took anything. I was always so careful with my hands in there, in case he thought I was trying to steal!

CaptainCallisto · 02/08/2025 07:10

I also used to think gunpowder grew on trees after mishearing the Guy Fawkes rhyme. I thought it was 'gunpowder trees on a plot'...

SparklyGlitterballs · 02/08/2025 07:11

Similar to the cheque one, I thought you could just go in a bank and get whatever money you needed. I didn't then understand the concept of having to earn the money to have in your account.

Back in the 60s, betting shops were always called Turf Accountants. I thought that's where you went to buy new grass for your garden.

LillyPJ · 02/08/2025 07:18

BuffetTheDietSlayer · 01/08/2025 23:41

I thought Sinn Fein was a person.

I still think Diego Garcia sounds like a person!

RabbitsRock · 02/08/2025 07:18

RaraRachael · 01/08/2025 22:33

I used to think that one of the teams on University Challenge really was sitting on top of the other.

Also that Cadbury's was called Edbury's as I didn't realise the fancy letter at the start was a C

Me too! It was years before I realised! Thought there were some hidden stairs at the side!

BillyWind · 02/08/2025 07:42

My dad is a huge Manchester City fan.
From ages 3-7ish I actually thought 'United' was a swear word. As in Manchester United. (Because he had told me that!) I told my dad this recently, 30 years later, and he nearly fell off his chair.

I can remember arguing with another child when I was about 4 about this.

Trentdarkmore · 02/08/2025 07:45

Latenightreader · 01/08/2025 22:05

I believed that if you had a cold you had to wash your hands carefully before using the loo or your nether regions would catch a cold. I was well into adulthood when I realised I had muddled up colds and coldsores...

I also believed that when a baby was born the doctor ties a knot in the umbilical cord near the stomach and it slowly sank down to create the navel. I thought that different shaped belly buttons were the result of doctors being more or less skilled in knots. It was only when my daughter was clipped I realised my mistake.

I'm 54 and I didn't know until now that it isn't knotted!

TheaBrandt1 · 02/08/2025 07:51

I remember a friend telling me she knew a really rude word. Braced myself to hear it. It was “tedious”. Didn’t use this obscenity for years!

Louoby · 02/08/2025 07:52

For years I thought 7UP was called TUP 😂

Sherwil16 · 02/08/2025 08:30

I thought my sister had a really good memory as she could play 5 single records (45s) in the same order every time. I'd seen long players(33s), but didn't connect them. It was a while before I realised this.
I had a teacher in primary school who would get really frustrated with our very lively class and shout out that we were driving her berserk- definitely a swear word which we were all so shocked to hear.

Blarn · 02/08/2025 08:59

Mistyglade · 02/08/2025 01:53

I used to think WHSmiths was pronounced ‘wit-smiths’ with a soft t.

Similarly, I used to pronounce it Whu Smiths as wh made that sound in words. I still do in my head when I go past one at a station now.

ErrolTheDragon · 02/08/2025 09:18

LillyPJ · 02/08/2025 07:18

I still think Diego Garcia sounds like a person!

Show quote history

That’s because it’s named after an explorer.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 02/08/2025 09:22

Whenever I saw ‘Dilute to taste’ on a bottle of squash, I thought how stupid it was - of course you didn’t need to dilute it in order to taste it!

When a lot younger, probably still barely 3, I made a great effort to get behind our big old-fashioned ‘wireless’ to see the little people who were talking. Oh, the crushing disappointment on seeing only wires and a little light bulb!

Fieldsfaeries · 02/08/2025 09:32

Cupboardlovely · 02/08/2025 01:27

I think this is actually true? I feel a bit silly saying that now. I’ll go check it out on Google 😬

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I mean I thought he made it all up - God, Jesus, the apostles etc etc - because this soomehow made it ok for him to divorce.

Fieldsfaeries · 02/08/2025 09:34

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 01/08/2025 23:52

He did create the Church of England so he could divorce.

Show quote history

The way it was told to me was that he “invented” the Church of England so he could divorce. I thought that meant he made it all up and then said we had to believe it.

BeMellowAquaSquid · 02/08/2025 09:42

I was about 10 when I discovered vagina was not in fact fa-gina

SheWaits · 02/08/2025 09:50

BuffetTheDietSlayer · 01/08/2025 23:41

I thought Sinn Fein was a person.

SO DID I! And I thought he was some secretive soul that no one ever saw and Gerry Adams was like his messenger.

Squirrelsnut · 02/08/2025 10:26

I thought We Three Kings were from 'porridge and tar'.

crochetandshit · 02/08/2025 10:53

I thought that pubs with signs saying Free House meant everything was free and couldn't understand why we didn't go every day for our dinner.

pinkpony88 · 02/08/2025 11:36

I used to think that benches with memorial plaques on them mean someone actually died whilst sitting on that bench. 🤣

connie26 · 02/08/2025 11:41

I used to think that in olden days colour hadn't been invented.

Bbq1 · 02/08/2025 11:51

Meadowflower2023 · 01/08/2025 20:29

I’m embarrassed even typing this but here we go.. I used to think every To Let sign on buildings we drove past as a child was advertising there was a toilet there (to use) I can remember thinking why are there so many toilets around when we drove through the city to my nans (until I learned to read properly)

I thought exactly the same thing!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/08/2025 12:12

ErrolTheDragon · 02/08/2025 00:09

Did you ever see a ‘heavy plant crossing’ sign and wonder what it meant?Grin

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My parents used to say that meant triffids crossing, @ErrolTheDragon!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/08/2025 12:17

ErrolTheDragon · 02/08/2025 00:12

I thought they were little lamps (complete with bulbs and a wiring system under the road surface) which somehow sensed a car coming towards them and lit up and then switched off after it had passed them.

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My dad used to say there were gangs of tiny men running along in front of the car, switching the cats’ eyes on, and another gang behind the car switching them off.

ExquisiteSocialSkills · 02/08/2025 12:29

Screamingabdabz · 01/08/2025 20:40

I used to think that when people talked about ‘cutting their head open’ they meant like two halves of an orange falling apart. I used to be right miffed when it turned out to be just a graze and nothing so dramatic!

Yes! I had an accident when I was six. On being told I had cut my head open I asked my mother if she could see my brain.