What’s it like being a grandparent ?

[GingerPussInBoots]

Just wondering as as friends sister recently became one, as she posts a lot of photos of the baby calling her, her princess, yet I know she doenst like the mum much, but if a personality clash might get better with time hopefully and wheh peopel are more settled perhaps
anyway
I just can’t really imagine it
she’s the paternal grandparent

Your first sentence makes no sense at all.

I'm guessing, you left out the 'that'. Now it makes sense.
If you're too busy for punctuation my top tip to you is to not waste time giving shonky advice to people who don't want it.

Good luck with the punctuation.

Parenting fail by the now grandparents who brought up entitled or incompetent children presumably?

Unfortunately there's a lot of that around these days but also both parents having to work full time. I've got two grandparent friends in a similar boat. Their lives are pretty much dominated by their grandchildren. They're both exhausted with no hope of enjoying their hard earned retirement and their husbands aren't exactly over the moon about any of it. They could tell their children to get stuffed but honestly who does that in real life?

Painfull

Yes, of course. I was being a bit tongue in cheek. But the reality is that when people are so deeply invested in another person's well being (and nobody is more invested than a parent in their child, no matter how old they are) then the lines of logic are blurred. How can you tell your adult child that they'll have to fork out a fortune in childcare (that they possibly can't even afford) because you're too knackered to help them out. Or, even worse, that you'd actually like to go on a cruise before you or your husband die! Additionally, all too often people in their 30's/40's have no concept of the quantitative difference of being in your 60's/70's, and this leads to bitter resentment. They cannot possibly understand that someone who might look OK feels physically or emotionally any less resilient than themselves. So grandparents are walking a tightrope of pushing themselves to the limit or risk a family rift.

How can you tell your adult child that they'll have to fork out a fortune in childcare (that they possibly can't even afford) because you're too knackered to help them out. Or, even worse, that you'd actually like to go on a cruise before you or your husband die!

Well that is not how you’d approach it if a genuinely close and loving relationship with your adult child.

Most loving and supportive adult DC would actively want their parents to be honest with them if struggling and actively want them to go on a cruise

How depressing.

Although… really your friends need to buck up a bit

Really, if people can't afford childcare they can't afford to have children. It's unreasonable to expect grandparents to fill the gap.

My grandchildren have given me such joy and love, they are just lovely.
I will do anything for them.

I have a new grandson. I ❤️ him

Congrats 🎉

I have three honarary grandchildren. My late DP died in 2018. His two daughters and his daughter in law all had babies six weeks apart in 2021. I'm very blessed to have an honarary grandson and two granddaughters who think of me as their Nanny... 💕 💕

Strange question. You might as well ask what is it like being a sister, or a wife everyone is different and everyone has a different experience.
There is no one definitive way to be a grandparent or a parent or an in law

Well it varies. I have 8 GC, there are 5 mothers and 4 fathers. I have very close relationship with one mum, very good relationship with two, more challenging relationship with one where I have to tread carefully and with the one who is one of my sons ex is friendly but don't see often. I find my experience with GC is very dependant on relationship with parents and particularly with the mother. I love them all but see more of some than others.

I agree
but one poster upthread actually says they don’t think it would be odd to ask “what’s it like being a wife” or similar when patently it is odd!

What is your experience of being a grandparent would be a much better question surely?

Are all your children sons or a mix? @TheignT

I love being a grandparent and have 3 dc. Unfortunately they are not nearby but we try and see them as much as we can.

i can see why dgps don’t want to do loads of childcare though

I can’t wait. I imagine it’s utterly amazing and a wonderful privilege.

I love being a grandparent. It brings a completely different dimension to our family and it's such fun being with the little people and watching them as they grow and develop. We moved to be nearer at our daughter's request - did some regular childcare for the first GC but not for the second as we felt we were getting older and being mindful of the safety angle here. But they have their own room here for sleepovers and we have many days out in the holidays. I count myself a very fortunate woman to be able to see so much of them. They're a total joy.