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Original poster

ILs turning up on our holiday

48 replies

holidayhelp54321 · 27/07/2025 17:12

Just wanting to vent, really.

My ILs have turned up on our holiday again. This is at least the third year of it happening now. Same resort town, same (small) site. We’re lucky enough to have ten days here and they’ll be here for a week of it. We thought we were crossing over for a day before their onward journey, which would’ve been OK, but they’ve booked for a week.

I’ve really looked forward to some proper family time with DH and DS after a stressful few months, and it changes the whole vibe of the holiday. Even if we don’t spend time with them, they’re around the site. I’ve found MIL to be overbearing with DS since he was born, and it feels like this is another way that I or my wants don’t matter in their family. They and DH are ‘the family’, and they don’t see us as an adult partnership in our own right, even though we’re married with a baby.

Sorry to whinge, just wanted to let off steam. We managed one night here by ourselves before they arrived.

OP posts:
Muchtoomuchtodo · 27/07/2025 17:13

I know you’ve not asked but YANBU. I’d be fuming. You need to stop telling them where you’re going to be.

Lollylolo · 27/07/2025 17:14

Going forward, do not tell them where you will be going. It's really simple. Keep them on an information diet.

GettingFestiveNow · 27/07/2025 17:14

It sounds like you may have a DH problem.

ImAPreMadonna · 27/07/2025 17:14

I think I would pack up and move / go home. What does your DH think? Is he fed up? Has he told them that what they are doing is unacceptable?

PickAChew · 27/07/2025 17:19

Who is telling them where you are?

You need to call their bluff, next time. Tell them you're off to Skeggy but go to Haggerston Castle, or two places equally inconvenient for each other.

AlwaysFreezing · 27/07/2025 17:19

They cant do this by total surprise though, can they? When we go away we tell the in-laws the country and rough area we're going to. They wouldn't have a clue how to find us if they just arrived at the airport we flew in to.

It sounds like you go the same place each time? And somewhere they have a connection to? So the answer is to go somewhere new with fewer details given.

As for the next week? Wine, day trips, and maybe a conversation with them about what their family holidays were like when your dh was small....did their parents/ a set of in-laws go on every holiday??

NoweverytimeIgoforthemailbox · 27/07/2025 17:20

Book some where different next year but don’t tell them and let them turn up the usual place.

Cynic17 · 27/07/2025 17:22

So stop telling them when you're going and, crucially, where. It really isn't difficult. In 30+ years of holidays, nobody could ever have joined us because (apart from knowing Italy, France or whatever), they had no idea where we were.
This is on you and your husband, OP, so learn your lesson once and for all!

Coffeeishot · 27/07/2025 17:22

Just stop telling them a pre arranged family holiday is fine but turning up is so intrusive and taking the absolute piss!

Coffeeishot · 27/07/2025 17:25

Next holiday dont even discuss annual leave be vague.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 27/07/2025 17:26

Is your dh telling them?

Snorlaxo · 27/07/2025 17:27

I would have stopped telling them when and where after the first time that they did this.

Twonewcats · 27/07/2025 17:28

I'm assuming your DH agrees with you? If so, I'd also hope he might have a word with them.

If not, he's the issue. A grown man should be happy enough holidaying occasionally with his parents, but not every single time.

Newnameformenow · 27/07/2025 17:29
  1. Agree don't tell them in future.
  2. For this holiday, take full advantage and they can babysit while you 2 go out
  3. What does your husband say?
LaLaLandDreams · 27/07/2025 17:31

Stop telling then your plans and go elsewhere in future.

Dheops · 27/07/2025 17:34

Lots of sympathy but how do they keep doing this? Does your DH keep telling them where you are going?

This is entirely preventable if your husband is really "team you".

I hope you manage to salvage the holiday somehow. I would not be above leaving a couple of nights early and finding a hotel stop elsewhere, but it would need husband onside.

AllotmentHappy · 27/07/2025 17:37

I would just ignore them. Why didnt he say anything to you?

SmallBox · 27/07/2025 17:41

Your husband needs to tell them to back off.

slightlydistrac · 27/07/2025 17:42

Your husband needs to stop telling them your exact holiday plans.

Wimby · 27/07/2025 17:43

Never tell them again when or where you’re going away.

rainbowstardrops · 27/07/2025 17:46

How do they know where you are? Your DH? If so, you have a DH problem

WaltzingWaters · 27/07/2025 17:48

What’s your DH opinion on this? Will he agree to you both not discussing specific details for any future holidays?

For this holiday, can you take advantage of this situation and use them for babysitting so you and DH can get away for a romantic meal or day out?

Zempy · 27/07/2025 17:49

How is this happening? Why isn’t DH telling them it’s unacceptable?

I would tell DH holiday next year is place A but book somewhere completely different, place B, a long way away from A.

OnAMissionToLoseWeight · 27/07/2025 17:49

The fact that this has happened on multiple occasions is unacceptable.

  1. Your DH should have nipped this in the bud first time it happened
  2. Knowing what happened the first time you should have proceeded with EXTREME caution (being vague with dates and location)
  3. You clearly have a DH problem as well as an in-law one. If my in-laws did this my DH would make it extremely clear that they'd be cut off if they tried it again.
2catsandhappy · 27/07/2025 18:03

Can't you bluntly say you were hoping for an early night@holidayhelp54321 ?
Not meeting up for dinner and long evenings chatting or whatever they expect.