What would you tell your 20 year old self?

[BertieRosie]

Or what would you go back to change, if you could redo it?

Get a retainer for those lovely straight teeth and wear it every night.

Stop drinking

Why?

Are you struggling with your own life choices?

Don't get married a week after your 20th bday to a man 14 years older than you because it's the easiest way to leave home. It really wasn't a good idea, was it?

Wear sunscreen and take your make up off properly every single night even if you're drunk
Look after your teeth
Start a regular exercise programme now so that by the time it's really important it will be second nature and you won't have to force yourself to do it

You're autistic.

If you like yourself and your quirks, other people will like you. You'll find your tribe. You are free and life could be full of joy.

Stay away from those men. They're creeps and you haven't got the emotional awareness to realise that yet, and you think they're the only ones who'd be interested in you. You're probably wrong.

Four lost decades 😪

Like a number of others here: Don't stay with your second-ever boyfriend, nearly 8 years older than you, and waving a garland of red flags. Don't decide that he's lovely and confident and everyone likes him, and he's the best you can do, as no-one else would really ever want you. There's so much more out there for you, and this path will bring only misery (when he is decidedly not lovely, confident and likeable and instead is a gaslighting, selfish, abusive prick who will cause immense pain to you and your future children.

I'd also say: you can survive, and even thrive, when you don't think it's possible

And
You've so much to offer; believe you matter and have the capacity to succeed and help others to succeed as well.

I'd tell myself to leave earlier a specific job I had before it goes wrong, but I would also have to tell myself to then wait and apply for the job I then moved to, otherwise I wouldn't meet future dh! I'd also tell myself to drink a bit less and do more exercise to hopefully be healthier and avoid some health issues I've had.

Wear your braces
leave home as soon as poss
don't care
PS you are so great xx

I would tell myself that the friend I think is funny and edgy is really just a waster. That she is dragging me down a bit and I'll look back with a bit of contempt to be honest.

Concentrate on a career abit more than I did and don’t care what other people think of you. Also realise some of the nasty people that I came across were actually just jealous, but at that point I was too young to understand that.
Also to find a good man who would make a good dad.

Dump the boyfriend that you barely want to have sex with and is extremely needy as he'll have an affair in 6 years time

Trust your gut 99.9% of your life.
Nothing stays the same forever - that includes the shit times.

I came on here to say literally the same thing! Big hugs and I hope your future decades are full of loveliness!

20 was one of my best ever years. So my advice would be: enjoy it all! Any other age and I'd have advice like: be yourself, confidence is attractive, work harder etc. But 20 was just fun.

Leave your boring office job and find something interesting to do! Save money.

Save money even just a little each month while having fun. You haven’t met the one. There will be more! See the world and party - you’ve plenty of time to get serious in later life

Save and invest

time flies

Me too. Dont marry him. You can do better and you are worth so much more.

You're going to be fine!

You'll marry him and together you'll build your own family where people treat eachother with kindness and respect.

When you leave university and start on your career in a year or two, remember that you're bottom of the heap, you're going to be put upon, exhausted and terrified a lot of the time, you're going to meet lots of difficult people, and you're going to make lots of mistakes. Your parents didn't model the level of agreeableness you're going to need to smooth your passage through the workplace. Now, while you've got the time, get some books on interpersonal skills out of the library and learn the art of smiling sweetly and filtering what you say even when you've been awake for 60 hours and don't know what way up you are. You'll be glad you did.

And also, when you're 24 you'll meet someone who seems to fit the family script for a future husband for you. Don't be taken in, whoosh him straight to the friend zone.

Dance more. Go dancing at every opportunity. Any type of music, all kinds of venues. Wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care.

Cut contact with your parents now. You'll do it in a few years time anyway and wish you'd done it sooner, you deserve better.

I know that having a one year old and finishing uni is tough but you'll look back on this with so much pride and nostalgia for when she was tiny!

Start investing, educate yourself about compound interest.

Otherwise honestly I think we did pretty good!

Maybe consider learning German rather than spending years on Spanish which won't help you with your in laws 🤣

Drink less.