What would you tell your 20 year old self?

[BertieRosie]

Or what would you go back to change, if you could redo it?

Never get married. See that you secure a nice place to live, for yourself.
Make/inherit enough money for a comfortable, single life. No kids, not much else.
Oh, and put yourself first, always.
Which I tried to do.

That bloke who you think is the love of your life actually turns out to be a bit of a shit and will break your heart into a million pieces but - panic not!- you will meet your soul mate by the time you turn 24 🥰

I would say:
Please don't get married. You know you love your freedom, you love to be alone and it's completely FINE to be you and live exactly how you choose at any point in your life.

Having children is not compulsory and in fact, you'll probably be much happier if you don't. Don't worry about what your parents or anyone else thinks. It's such a huge commitment and you should only do it if you're 100% sure. Your life will be fabulous without a baby.

Don't think just because a man shows you affection that you should give it back or start a relationship with him. You bloody well choose your own partner, or none at all.

Trust in your personality and strength of character. There's more than one way to be and you can do it your way.

Don’t worry! It’s all going to turn out just fine!

Ooh and I'll add, go and study midwifery, not veterinary nursing. It'll be the right job for you. Don't piss away your future career in a very low paid job.

Don’t marry him.
Travel, buy a new car, do stuff.
Buy your own house, live with a cat and be freeeee.

Don't go out with that boyfriend at uni and focus on you. Change your degree or leave and get a job and work your way up. Don't drink all your money and waste it on crap.

Don't leave the final salary pension at work, you'll regret it forever.

I’d sign up for some kind of career coaching. I honestly didn’t have a clue after getting my first graduate job about what careers look like, how to develop, how to progress. I was first generation graduate and my parents experience of work wasn’t helpful for the graduate professional workplace. I got quite stuck between about 25 and 35.

So many things. I was just saying to DH the other day that I wish I knew all I know now when I was younger. My 20's would have been so different.

Drink less alcohol would be a big one. Find other healthier ways to enjoy myself and have friends. Join a club at Uni instead of spending every night drinking at the student union. Stay single at Uni, dont make my whole existence about my BF and housemates. Take more opportunities to upskill while I had boundless energy.

Also, while I loved my degree and have had a 21 year career in the subject area, I would definitely advise my younger self to have taken my career in a slightly different and higher earning direction. I never felt I was clever or important enough to really push myself and go after the money. I now know that's not true, its my ND talking and holding me back. I stuck at lower grade roles when I shouldn't have. I know we're not supposed to focus on having lots of money, we're supposed to do things we love and have good work life balance. But in my 20s I didn't need work life balance, and I'll probably be working a lot longer now as I never had the sort of career that will allow me to retire early, which is what I'd really like to do.

To complete the Freedom Programme from Women's Aid.
Start yoga.

Break away from your parents, go to London, get involved in the literary world. Marry someone kind, who would never let you down, someone who is capable and pulls his weight without being asked.

I'd have to go back to my 16 year old self and say 'Don't get with him' about my ex who turned out to be a gambler.

Though I'm very much about past experiences making us who we are today and things happening for a reason....

Go to art or film school or catering college. 99 per cent called professional jobs won't ever pay enough for you to have somewhere stable to live, and by 2025 most people your age without rich parents will be living with soul destroying economic insecurity and no hope of ever getting out of it - if you're going to be poor, you might as well be poor and making art rather than be poor and making someone else a profit.

Leave uni, get a job and work hard at it.

Don't go back to that knob-rot who you think is the only one you'll ever love. Not that any of the others will be much better, like, but at least you'll be away from that fuckup.

You’re right - ensuring you have a good career and financial independence IS the most important thing.

Leave him NOW!!! There’s worse to come

You aren’t fat and you’re very clever

Learn to drive and save up to buy a car.

Everything is going to be okay.

Finish your studies, wait a little longer before having kids, travel more, you’re going to miss your body so stop wearing super baggy clothes, learn what is abuse and what is acceptable and unacceptable, stop being so impulsive, do a claire and sarahs law on your future partners BEFORE having kids with them.

Yo out are better looking than you think and you can do more than you think you can. Worry less, enjoy life more and experience more.
Don't hide away from life.
You are very young still and you have plenty of time to settle down .

Honestly, I probably wouldn’t do anything very differently.

You're not fat!
I was 5'8", 9 stone and I thought i was fat. I walked everywhere and looking at old photos, I had such a small waist. I was always counting calories.

Dump the malicious bustard you've already wasted 6 years of your life on. Sex doesn't equal love or even like in a lot of cases. Accept that being alone can actually be a wonderful thing and just what you need.

Look after your teeth.
Keep your weight down.
Try and save money.