Can you share your pithy, old-fashioned sayings?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

DS is 7 and has a very folkloric imagination. He is always coming out with sayings that he has invented but that sound for a sec like they might be real.

I am going to make him a list of real proverbs and sayings as I think he'd get a kick out of it.

I'm starting with "many a mickle makes a muckle".... can you help me by adding your favourites???

I was stood there like a pimple on a nose

The devil makes work for idle hands.
You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

"Born with a gramophone record up their arse".
(Not really suitable for a 7yo though).

He/she could sell sand to the Arabs
They are as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike

My mum used to say my dad was tight like a ducks arsehole and that's water tight!!

Been up and down like a whores drawers.
Put some wood in that hole (shut the door).

The apple didn’t fall far from the tree
You could cut the atmosphere with a knife

DH says ‘it’s black over Sammy’s’ - West Midlands (for anyone who’s confused, it’s referring to dark clouds and bad weather rolling in). Also ‘went right round the Wrekin’ (to have to go the long way round, or an overlong story); ‘they don’t spoil a couple’ (two unattractive people); ‘he/she couldn’t stop a pig in an entry’ (gangly or bandy-legged).

London based ones: ‘he/she went off alarming’ (made a fuss/had a tantrum); ‘I nearly had a conniption’ (loss of temper/composure); ‘she looked like the wreck of the Hesperus’ (untidy/dishevelled); ‘it’s like Casey’s Court in here’ (chaotic & noisy).

He went behind a muck cart and thought it was a wedding (He’s a bit thick)

He’s not as green as he is cabbage looking

I don’t boil my cabbages twice.

Grass doesn’t grow on busy streets (balding men)

You haven’t got the brains you were born with.

Rain before seven clear by eleven

I've seen more meat on a butcher's pencil

You could chop wood on her face

Is that you? (Shouted when someone comes in through door) No it's Old Nick

I didn't come down in the last shower

If you lay down with dogs you get up with fleas

The squeaky wheel gets the oil

You're not as green as you are cabbage looking 😁

@Cherry321 snap!

I’m not as green as I’m cabbage looking

They fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

Another one from FIL ‘careful, you’ll take the lining out your cap’ (to anyone picking their nose!).

Love these! I’m sure I used to mix sayings up when I was younger too but can’t think. These all spring to mind as ones I still hear now and then.

two sandwiches short of a picnic.

Thick as two short planks.

A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush

Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves

A watched pot never boils

About as useful as a chocolate teapot

Tight as a gnats arse

Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water

Heavens to Betsy!

If my granny was asked what something was and she didn’t have time to expiain, she’d tell you it was

…just a wigwam for grinding smoke.

If s/he had double the brain cells, s/he’d be able to bark

All brains, no sense

So sharp you’ll cut yourself one day

Not necessarily one for your 7 year old, but I like "You die if you worry, you die if you don't"

If ever we were standing/sitting about and not doing anything much, my mum would say we 'were like Piffy on a rock bun'.

Couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery
Let the dog see the rabbit
Its black at the back of bill's mother's
You couldnt stop a pig in a passage
he's ten pence short of a taxi fare
Hear all, see all, say nowt.

Oh and whenever my dad was asked where something was, he'd reply
Up your arse on the second shelf

Blimey, that's close to home! (I'm not these days though).

I see pigs flying
Let the dog see the rabbit
Watch and wait man club
Get out the road
You’re talking scribble
The washing on your face is blowing in the wind (aka you are talking hot air!)
Easy tiger
If it quacks like a duck…
You can’t see the wood for the trees
Little jugs have big ears