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Original poster

Grandparent childcare this summer

65 replies

thebeautifulsky · 23/07/2025 18:16

I'll start this by saying I'm a Grandparent who happily takes care of our DGD two days a week. She's two and I've been looking after her since she was 9 months old to enable my son and DDL to go to work without the expense of nursery. Her other Grandparents do two days too (DDIL works 4 days). Our DGD is a joy and both sets of Grandparents have a wonderful relationship with her.

I nipped into town today and it surprised me how many Grandparents were looking after grandchildren from babies to probably 10/11 year olds. I don't remember it being like this when my children were growing up. My son and daughter had summer camps etc which were affordable and enjoyable. I know it's the school holidays for most but it made me realise how difficult it must be for working parents without Grandparent support.

So, hats off to those who are juggling work and childcare. I didn't have Grandparent childcare in the 1990's but things seemed easier and less expensive or maybe I don't remember it being as tough as it is today.

Not sure what the point of my chat is, but I'm in awe of parents today juggling work and family.

OP posts:
TwilightAb · 23/07/2025 19:55

Cattery · 23/07/2025 18:29

In the 70s the mums stayed home to bring up the kids and the dads went to work. Simpler times

Yea they were simpler times. Unfortunately though we are no longer in the 70s and nowadays both parents have to be earning to afford even just the rent or mortgage, let alone rising costs of everything else. The pressure on parents has increased but it's women who feel it the most, especially when they are judged on whether or not they go out to work. We simply can't win, if you dont work and stay at home then you are judged for not providing or being a scrounger. If you do go out to work then you are judged for being neglectful and the old ' don't have children of you can't afford to look after them yourself'. We simply can't win and that just adds to the pressure we are already under!

Goldbar · 23/07/2025 19:59

Clubs around us are £50-70 per day with "wrap-around" (typically 8-9.30, 4pm-6pm) charged as extra. The holidays are a huge juggle for families, especially those with more than one child. Around 1/3 of my DC's class last year were only children. I wonder how far the practicalities and expense of juggling multiple children's schedules, especially in the holidays, feeds into this.

TwilightAb · 23/07/2025 20:06

My ds is about to leave private nursery and go to school. He's been going for 3 days a week for 3 years and it has cost us £30,000! That's just 3 days so no wonder people are turning to grandparents to help out.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Childcare & nursery Families
Lifeislove · 23/07/2025 20:08

BeaLola · 23/07/2025 18:50

My Mum was a SAHM in the 70s so they had no need of any childcare - but that's why she was a SAHM as they had no family nearby who could've looked after us in holidays.

We have no family near us so all childcare has been split between the2 of us

I do think that if my DS17 were to go on and have children at some point I would be happy to help in summer holidays etc and also maybe 1 day in the week to hep but I wouldn't want to commit to 3/4 days every week

I am hoping one day to be an involved helpful grandparent

I do after school once per week for 6yr old grandson and then that day (all day) in the holidays then the next day I have the 2.5yr old for the bulk of the day so he doesn't have to do nursery. Sometimes I'll do both in the holidays but they both like to have 121 time with me (and a rest from each other! ).

It's fun for me and for them with the added bonus of saving some £££ for my daughter.

I couldn't do more though as I'm now divorced and have various work commitments the other days.

I'm not very old either (62) so can keep up with their energy levels.

I also do babysitting some evenings if they want to go out and we'll start sleepovers this holidays with the 6yo.

It's lovely as I notice things that past me by when I was a very full time working mother and spent my downtime doing the rest of 'life's needs' and I also can give them full attention (or a bit of 70's parenting style whereby I let them please themselves for an hour whilst I have a rest.

I also say hi to all the other GP who pick up on the same day as me!

Bengenderson · 23/07/2025 20:11

Wow 4 days a week of free childcare, they are very very lucky.

Theunamedcat · 23/07/2025 20:15

WhatNoRaisins · 23/07/2025 18:32

As someone who doesn't have any grandparent help I really feel like I'm in the minority. All the other parents I speak to get help even if occasionally.

I had no help too my exes mom was full of i will babysit my grandchild as often as I can her work colleagues said we would be fighting her off joking about how she had baby fever etc she didn't look after him at all she looked after my DD (unrelated to her) way more than my DS after seeing how she behaves with ex dhs relationships after me she didn't want grandchildren she wanted granddaughters

My mom was similar she has zero interest in her grandsons she had my daughter over for a few hours every other Saturday until her brother was born then she wanted custody because she decided I wouldn't want her anymore then we fell out because I said no and she didn't see ANY grandchildren for years

cc99xo · 23/07/2025 20:19

Lucky them, my mom wouldn’t even have my son for an hour 🙈 I remember having to practically beg her to look after my son for a couple of hours when I was having a CT scan for suspected lymphoma

WaterOfADucksBack · 23/07/2025 20:19

thebeautifulsky · 23/07/2025 18:16

I'll start this by saying I'm a Grandparent who happily takes care of our DGD two days a week. She's two and I've been looking after her since she was 9 months old to enable my son and DDL to go to work without the expense of nursery. Her other Grandparents do two days too (DDIL works 4 days). Our DGD is a joy and both sets of Grandparents have a wonderful relationship with her.

I nipped into town today and it surprised me how many Grandparents were looking after grandchildren from babies to probably 10/11 year olds. I don't remember it being like this when my children were growing up. My son and daughter had summer camps etc which were affordable and enjoyable. I know it's the school holidays for most but it made me realise how difficult it must be for working parents without Grandparent support.

So, hats off to those who are juggling work and childcare. I didn't have Grandparent childcare in the 1990's but things seemed easier and less expensive or maybe I don't remember it being as tough as it is today.

Not sure what the point of my chat is, but I'm in awe of parents today juggling work and family.

Hello
I have 5 grandchildren and have them on a rota system almost 1 at a time. Not child care as such though sometimes when they have something on. More a catch up on a 121 their world weekend.
As.they are getting older children now, I did say last year next year will look different now your getting older and ill see you less but they said No nanny we like coming. So this year I said nanny will tame it down a bit next year as I'm getting older 😆.

But I guess every nanny and or grandad are different. Ive friends who think I'm mad and they are the money in the envelope at Christmas and odd visit in year people. Neither is wrong. Just depends I guess. I live alone, work part time and dont mind. But I certainly am tired afterwards.
I do think the system needs looking at and maybe some work related creche systems.
As grandparents need a retirement but maybe fir some its a no and for others it keeps them going.

TY78910 · 23/07/2025 20:21

It’s an interesting observation. I don’t have any GP help but my memories of early childhood were probably more of my own GPs than my parents. I do also see a LOT of threads trending on here that talk to GPs not wanting to look after GCs. That being said, rarely anyone is going to start an appreciation post about something that’s working…

Frazzled2108 · 23/07/2025 20:23

Two working parents here and zero grandparent help for our 2 children. The holiday clubs near us are 9 to 3.30pm so not much use and £25 a day each, so £50 for us. It's a massive juggling act!

Yes, when I was young mum stayed home and Dad went to work, but its just not affordable for most people now.

IleftmybaginNewportPagnell · 23/07/2025 20:30

saraclara · 23/07/2025 18:25

I'm amazed at the number of grandparents at the school gates these days. I don't remember seeing a single one when my kids were at primary school in the '90s.

My nan used to pick us up from school in the 70s, usually only two days a week though. Loved it - they were the two days we were treated to 5p of sweets, and my nan’s rock buns were legendary. I used to love popping into the supermarket where my mum worked, I felt really proud.

Bobocks · 23/07/2025 20:30

Lots of shift work where I grew up in the 70s & 80s. So dad would be in bed when mum was working and we were supposed to be quiet.
Lots more freedom, I was walking to and from school through the housing estate at 7.
Crossing a dual carriageway for milk certainly by 8. Out on bikes, down the park, calling for mates. That was all before secondary I was the eldest.
Never did a play scheme or had grandparents around. My family weren't unusual.

silverbirchlady · 23/07/2025 21:13

I must confess i haven't read everything but as a GM who does two/ three days childcare a week I honestly believe that two parents working full time shoukd really consider if having children is the right thing for them.
My GDs are lovely but by around 4 o'clock they are longing fur their own parents to come home. Obviously this is upsetting for everyone.
I'm all for people having fulfilling careers but I think ultimately children want their own parents to look after them .

coxesorangepippin · 23/07/2025 21:23

Shout out to all you involved grandparents

💐 🏆 The grandkids (and parents!) are very lucky

JG24 · 23/07/2025 21:48

Cattery · 23/07/2025 18:29

In the 70s the mums stayed home to bring up the kids and the dads went to work. Simpler times

Awful times when women were second class citizens who had no financial freedom

TomatoSandwiches · 23/07/2025 22:10

My lovely MIL has our youngest (9) once a week during the holidays, the SEN provisions for summer clubs are really scarce, it costs us £100 per day, the day being from 9:30am-12pm.

Allseeingallknowing · 23/07/2025 22:19

Fine if grandparents are fit , can afford it and are willing, but I feel sorry for those whose retirement dreams have been shelved because they don’t like to refuse to help. It must be exhausting to have small children several days a week .

Delatron · 23/07/2025 22:51

Yes it must be so exhausting. Just when you think you can retire! Not sure I’d fancy it in my 70s…

RelativelyQuietNow · 23/07/2025 22:57

We have a small caravan park near to us. It is noticeable how many older adults ( assuming grandparents) are staying with children. We see them as they walk into town.

I'm assuming a holiday to help with childcare.

Thisismyalterego · 24/07/2025 00:22

I have to work until I'm 67, but DH is retired and has looked after our dgc's since dgc1 was about 5 months old. Because our DS and DDIL work shifts which can change at the last minute ( emergency services), paid childcare is just not an option for them and as we are the only grandparents, it's DH ( and me after work, weekends and school holidays) or no-one. Yes, it is extremely tiring, but DS and DDIL try hard to make sure their rest days are taken separately so DH doesn't do too many days in succession, but obviously, that isn't always possible and anyway, they need time as a family together as well. We had no help from GPS when out DC's were little, and as maternity leave rules were different then, I had no option but to be a sahp for several years. Life was a real struggle and even when I managed to find a job that fitted around school hours and holidays, it was hard for a good few years. We love having our dgcs, and have a lovely bond with them, even though it does make us tired and I am just so glad that we are able to help our DS and DDIL because otherwise I dread to think what they would do.

ElsaSnow · 24/07/2025 07:18

Where I live the summer holiday clubs are sport specific eg gymnastics/football and are 9.30-3.30 for £40 a day and only one or 2 days a week. There is an art/craft one at another local school 9.30-3 £35 again one day a week. Then there is a one off one day STEM club 9.30-3.30 £80!!! No full days offered.

I am fortunate to have a flexible job where I mostly work from home and I can start early eg 7am and finish late if I needed a few hours off middle of day. I have built up a load of flexi time over the last 2 months during our busy period to allow myself a half day a week off, plus a week on holiday, a couple of other odd days off, grandparents having my 8yo 3 days where I have to go office for meetings. Then I have a mix of doing childcare swaps with her friends parents on days I’m off/half days and also asking my older teens to entertain her for a few hours in exchange for money for them to go cinema/golf with mates. It’s a lottery on local childcare options.

dontcomeatme · 24/07/2025 08:28

Icecreamandcoffee · 23/07/2025 19:11

I was a kid in the 90s (northern town), most of the parents of my classmates were either SAHM or worked part time school hours. The local fish finger factory actually had a "mum shift" that was 9.30-3 mon- Fri. Lots of the mums of school age children worked there. My friends mum worked in a village corner shop 9.30-2.30 3 days a week when they had deliveries. There were a handful of children whose mums worked full time, one was a Dr, another was a teacher, another was a solicitor. They all went either to the childminder or one girls dad worked shifts and he picked her up when he was off and if not her grandma used to pick her up.

At my DDs current school, there are loads of grandparents at pick up and drop off. Almost all of my DDs friends are been looked after by grandparents at least twice a week whilst their parents work. Child care is very expensive nowadays. We live in a childcare desert that pretty much dries up during the school holidays. We have 8 2 form primary schools in our town and there is 1 provision for children between 5 and 11 with 20 spaces running through the holidays which offers childcare between 9am and 4pm. There are 5 other provisions, all only offering 3 days a week and only 3 hours a day (9-12 or 10-1). Every child minder is full. Every day nursery is full. My friend has had to ask her 93 year old nan to look after her 3 year old for 3 days this holiday as there is literally no-one else, the nursery is full and prioritising their full time children who have had the spaces booked well in advance, she can't take leave as it's already gone unless she takes emergency parental leave. She's asked every relative and mum friend she knows and they are all either away on holiday or working themselves.

They need to bring the mum shift back! I've never even heard of this but it's genius. I'm a SAHM, fortunately we can afford to live on one wage, but if I could get those types of hours I would definitely return to work. Childcare costs just eat whatever part time wage I can get.

Mumof1andacat · 24/07/2025 08:43

More and more parents work and I mean both parents. Maybe there are more single parents so again both having to work. My ds is a little older but I see this year his old holiday club are charging £35 a day for 8am-6pm so if there are lots of children, the holiday childcare can easily become unaffordable.

mindutopia · 24/07/2025 09:16

On the contrary, Dh and I were looked after full time every school holiday by our grandparents in the 80s/90s. My grandparents had me from 3 months old 5 days a week til I hit school age, then all school holidays til 12. Then I stayed home on my own.

Our dc are 7 & 12 and grandparents have not done a single day of holiday childcare.

I don’t know about other areas, but the biggest issue around here is lack of provision for school holidays. There is literally 1 holiday club within about a 50 minute drive. There are camps, which offer a week here or there for a sport or for drama or whatever, but only for one week out of the summer.

The holiday club spots this year were booked in 4 minutes after the booking opened. It was like getting Glastonbury tickets! We managed to book some days, but only because I sat and refreshed the browser every 30 seconds for an hour until they became bookable and then mad dash to check out and pay. If I’d been working or a solo parent wrangling kids for that hour, it would have been impossible. Never mind that some families can’t just pay £200 or £500 or £800 for summer childcare upfront in May for August.

TwilightAb · 24/07/2025 09:30

I was very lucky to have my grandma live with us and so that enabled both of my parents to go out to work in the 80s. We have one set of grandparents that are actively involved in helping out with the kids. However I am very aware that they are getting older now and so try not to ask too much of them. They were looking after my ds one day a week but he is due to go to school in September so that will end.