Reporting neighbour to SS

TourdeFrance2025 · 22/07/2025 10:14

You want to report them leaving tweens/teens at home alone & them being a loud family.

🙄

Brokenforsummer · 22/07/2025 10:15

How old are the children? It sounds like they’re been left a home for periods of time rather than all day.

MissyPants · 22/07/2025 10:16

Exactly how old are the kids?

Hotdays2 · 22/07/2025 10:34

I would start keeping a log. Keep a record of what you can hear/timings/who was present etc. Make a record of what they say exactly and write it down verbatim. As other posters have said, shouting all day indicates a dysfunctional household, however more context is needed for SS involvement I would think.

speckledf · 22/07/2025 10:39

BananaPeachPie · 22/07/2025 10:11

I need to report my neighbour to SS. The kids are left alone a lot and the whole family scream at each other all day.
I don’t actually think they will do much as the children are tweens/teens and have a lot of family support who pop in, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I don’t and something happens when there isn’t an adult there.
This isn’t a debate on whether I am going to report. I know I have to and will do the right thing, But I wondered if anyone else had reported a neighbour and what happened next? Did they know it was you?
The thought that the mum will know that it is me, makes me feel physically sick. It’s a small street and I can’t avoid her. I am so unconfrontational. And as selfish as it is, we want to move soon and I don’t want to do anything that makes that more difficult.

Lets look at it logically

You report safeguarding concerns to social services.
Is your safeguarding concern that they are being left alone, that there is shouting/screaming, or both?

It would be seen as completely appropriate for parents to decide to leave teens/tweens home alone.
Obviously as a result of that, adults are not there to supervise/ stop the shouting and screaming.

It's not great but it's not a safeguarding concern if it's that alone.

If you did have a safeguarding concern, yes they would be allowed to tell mum it was you who reported. I don't think it's the best decision in most circs but it does happen.

Are mum and dad screaming a lot too? I shout at my own children at times (after I have asked them a number of times super respectfully to do something totally reasonable like ask a teenager to put clean pants on). Only you will know if it's also the case that they are generally respectful and at times just not getting through, or if there are maybe MH concerns there.

If you can't discern whether its parents just trying to get by or MH struggles or abuse. SS may be able to get them some help. It would likely be a child in need plan or a parenting course.

JudgeBread · 22/07/2025 10:55

I don't think leaving tweens and teens alone for periods of time is that big a deal is it? Maybe I'm out of touch as it's a while since I've been a teenager myself but I know families with teens who leave them for periods of time. I'm not sure social services would be interested in that unless you're going to drip feed one of the kids is profoundly disabled and they're leaving him in the garden for hours alone or something.

As for the screaming, I agree with a pp to keep a log of what you're hearing, who is saying it and when. I agree that screaming at kids is not normal but I don't know many parents who've got through the teen/tween years without shouting once or twice. So it's important to have a detailed record of what you're hearing because again, I doubt SS are going to be that interested in parents yelling at their teenagers.

mamagogo1 · 22/07/2025 11:16

Teens can be left for extended periods (not overnight until 16 ish) alone and tweens for shorter periods (longer if older siblings are there). I don’t see why you can’t just mind your own business

Hotdays2 · 22/07/2025 11:23

In safeguarding, they talk about ‘professional curiosity,’ so I don’t think OP needs to mind her own business if she has concerns, it’s just a question of what she does about it.
Gathering evidence is important, so as mentioned, I would make a note of what is being shouted, by whom etc.

CommissarySushi · 22/07/2025 11:26

Tweens and teens are fine to be left alone for short and long periods. It's parental discretion at that age.

ButteredRadish · 22/07/2025 11:26

speckledf · 22/07/2025 10:39

Lets look at it logically

You report safeguarding concerns to social services.
Is your safeguarding concern that they are being left alone, that there is shouting/screaming, or both?

It would be seen as completely appropriate for parents to decide to leave teens/tweens home alone.
Obviously as a result of that, adults are not there to supervise/ stop the shouting and screaming.

It's not great but it's not a safeguarding concern if it's that alone.

If you did have a safeguarding concern, yes they would be allowed to tell mum it was you who reported. I don't think it's the best decision in most circs but it does happen.

Are mum and dad screaming a lot too? I shout at my own children at times (after I have asked them a number of times super respectfully to do something totally reasonable like ask a teenager to put clean pants on). Only you will know if it's also the case that they are generally respectful and at times just not getting through, or if there are maybe MH concerns there.

If you can't discern whether its parents just trying to get by or MH struggles or abuse. SS may be able to get them some help. It would likely be a child in need plan or a parenting course.

Show quote history

That’s not true at all! They categorically do NOT tell the parents who it was who reported them and you know that! Please don’t lie in order to manipulate the OP into doing/not doing what you want!

SparklyGlitterballs · 22/07/2025 11:29

Teens can be left alone for periods, providing there are no disabilities/learning difficulties that would make them unsafe. How old is the tween?

If they're abusing the kids when screaming at them then maybe call NSPCC or Clildline for some advice?

LoveSandbanks · 22/07/2025 11:40

ButteredRadish · 22/07/2025 11:26

That’s not true at all! They categorically do NOT tell the parents who it was who reported them and you know that! Please don’t lie in order to manipulate the OP into doing/not doing what you want!

Show quote history

I’ve made a safeguarding call and was given the choice to not even give my name!

SaywhatIthink · 22/07/2025 11:51

Glad you was not my neighbour growing up.
We was a loud family all 6 of us.
Screaming shout bannging about etc we was all teen girls.

Even now i live on my own and id still not
want you as a neighbour as i can get loud in more than one way.

Original poster

BananaPeachPie · 22/07/2025 11:52

I am fully aware that I am being vague with the info. It doesn’t really matter what I’m ringing for, I’m asking if anyone else has called and whether the neighbour did know it was them.
I’m obviously not talking about a 15 year old being left for an hour whilst the mum nips to the shop and being shouted at once a month for not tidying their room. I am genuinely concerned for the safety of children aged 14 and under in a house next to mine. However I do not believe that they are in ‘immediate’ danger, which is why I don’t think SS will intervene much more than talking to the mum.

Thank you for those that have posted to help. I will ring the nspcc and see what they say.

OP posts:

FriendlyGreenAlien · 22/07/2025 11:54

I did make the call once and the duty social worker told me that although they don’t say where the information came from, parents can usually work it out. They either know who has heard what or who they have told what, so I needed to be aware that I might experience repercussions. I never did.

pizzaandchips123 · 22/07/2025 12:08

Where's dad in all this? What are they shouting about? Are they generally loud or aggressive

Enchantingdance · 22/07/2025 12:13

TourdeFrance2025 · 22/07/2025 10:14

You want to report them leaving tweens/teens at home alone & them being a loud family.

🙄

My thought exactly 😆 good luck

Mummyof32020 · 22/07/2025 12:49

It's not a crime to leave teens/tweens at home alone according to the Nspcc website. As for shouting could it be the teens shouting at each other or just a mum/dad who has asked several times nicely that have then shouted. Doesn't mean the kids are in danger or being abused though. I would think carefully before calling them. I'm all for reporting if you know or highly suspect abuse/neglect however by the sounds of your post it likely isn't that, it's just kids old enough to be left at home and parents who have more than likely got to the end of their tether and have raised their voices. You could ruin lives even if SS don't take it further it could seriously affect a parents mental health.

Sunnyside4 · 22/07/2025 12:52

My BIL and his wife were reported as they were regularly having rows (mind you we would end up losing it if we lived with BIL's wife!!!) and the neighbour was concerned their children were young and were exposed to it (can be considered a level of abuse). They knew it was their neighbour, but they didn't complain about it as they knew they were in the wrong. They received a visit from SS, but just on one occasion.

If you're really not comfortable with what's going on next door, then you have to do what you feel is right no matter what anyone says. Could be schools have had their concerns and it just need another link in the puzzle. However, if there's nothing in it, then at least you know it's been looked into (if only to a minor extent).

mindutopia · 22/07/2025 13:09

I think the reality is that if you report them for shouting loads in the garden and being left unattended at home, then it will be obvious that it’s a neighbour who made the report. If you live on a street with a row of 20 terraced houses, it could be anyone. If you are in a semi without super close neighbours, it will probably be obvious.

That said, if you feel it’s urgent and needs addressing then, do it. Otherwise, one way to be more discreet might be going via the school as it will look less like it’s come from someone in the community. Only you know if it needs looking in before September.

OhNoMyChocMelted · 22/07/2025 13:13

A lot of kids from around 11 when start seniors are left alone whilst parents go out or work.
Some much younger.
This is a non issue.
Exactly how old are they.

Ps kids are noisy!

Icreatedausernameyippee · 22/07/2025 13:26

Report me while you're at it. I left my 13 year old at home for ages earlier cause he was in bed. Constantly shouting at my nearly 5 year old because she doesn't listen to a single, solitary, spoken word.

mopping · 23/07/2025 07:21

Having worked in the field, I believe that constant yelling at kids of that age would be intervened with.

Spirallingdownwards · 23/07/2025 07:25

"under 14" So I guess these are secondary age kids. There is no law to prevent secondary age kids being left alone.

Unless there are genuine safeguarding concerns please don't waste SS time and resources and let them be available to protect children actually in danger.

Anonymousopinions · 23/07/2025 07:27

OP I just wanted to say well done you for taking your concerns seriously & acting further. It's completely normal to be concerned about repercussions, and I just wanted to say you should be very proud for acting anyway.

Speaking as someone who has just blown the whistle, so to speak, on a family members household, the nerves, fear and doubt cannot be underestimated. Doing it anyway is so brave.

I think this thread is unhelpful that people are questioning why you're calling. If you're concerned enough to make the call, make it. Anyone putting doubt in your head doesn't have to live with the "what if" fear about the children's safety if the situation escalated