Reporting neighbour to SS

[BananaPeachPie]

I need to report my neighbour to SS. The kids are left alone a lot and the whole family scream at each other all day.
I don’t actually think they will do much as the children are tweens/teens and have a lot of family support who pop in, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I don’t and something happens when there isn’t an adult there.
This isn’t a debate on whether I am going to report. I know I have to and will do the right thing, But I wondered if anyone else had reported a neighbour and what happened next? Did they know it was you?
The thought that the mum will know that it is me, makes me feel physically sick. It’s a small street and I can’t avoid her. I am so unconfrontational. And as selfish as it is, we want to move soon and I don’t want to do anything that makes that more difficult.

I’m surprised by some of the responses here, if someone genuinely thinks children may be harmed then they absolutely have responsibility to report it. I have reported a family to the NSPCC before and actually found them rubbish to deal with and instead rang the school and reported it as a safeguarding issue. I spoke to the safeguarding officer and they took the details of the children and I didn’t have to give my name either. I’m not sure what ended up happening as it wasn’t someone that lived close to me, but the school sounded as though they took it very seriously.

Exactly. There are different sorts of shouting and yelling.

A huge difference between general arguing and someone shouting at a child to tell them to go to bed, and a parent shouting they’re going to kill them or threatening them. We don’t know what the situation is so I think we just have to assume that if the OP is concerned enough to contact social services, then there is a bigger issue at play.

I left my tween and teen yesterday while I went to work. They were asleep for half the day. They are absolutely fine, and the only issue was them using seemingly every plate, cup, and cutlery item in the house over the course of 6 hours.

15 year olds can definitely be left for more time than “popping to the shops”!

Mine are 18, 15, 9 and 7 and you'll often hear me shouting within a 10 mile radius most days🤣 they don't listen!!! Especially the adult DC!

It's the holidays OP, not all parents cope well and it can be overwhelming. Report if it puts your mind at ease.

Yes they will know it's you. When a neighbour made a malicious referral anonymously about us I could work out who it must have been.

If you have any concerns then report them.

Too many kids end up being neglected by their parents while everyone turns a blind eye...

If anything a chat with social services might lead to some additional support for the parents if they are struggling with raising their kids.

As usual a lot of people on this thread are being obtuse but when it comes to kids, who can't advocate for themselves, it is best to report rather than say nothing just because you don't want to interfere in these people's lives.

''@watchingplanesicantafford · Today 07:45

Yes they will know it's you. When a neighbour made a malicious referral anonymously about us I could work out who it must have been.''

No. SS don' t share this type of details and the OP is not about to make a 'malicious referral'. She is about to report genuine concerns about minors. If there is nothing wrong going on then the family has nothing to worry about even if SS get involved.

More information is needed.

How old are the children and how long are they left alone? Age 12 - 13 ish and left alone overnight is not OK. Age 12 - 13 and alone in the daytime is acceptable. Age and duration is important here.

What type of shouting is it? Noisy kids playing? Kids arguing? Parents and kids arguing? A child screaming in pain? What do you think is happening in the household?

They might not share identifying information, but you can often work out who it was from the information they do give.

Though sometimes the person who calls in concerns is someone visiting the property, or even someone who walks past regularly. Even if it's observed at a neighbouring property, it doesn't mean it's the neighbours.

report definitely, but in my professional experience of reporting safeguarding concerns to SS, it won’t pass
their threshold (but will log the concern, building an historical picture for future reference)

All this is going to do is bring grief for you.

they will know it was you. Ss are crap with keeping reporters confidential.

they will just be left, so the kids won’t even be helped.

I reported a family for much worse than this and SS didn’t have the resources to do much. They sent the mum on a parenting course. The dad was done for DV but they are still together. The night the baby was left alone they told us to call the police. We did. No report forwarded to SS the next day so no jojned-up thinking.

I made a safeguarding call for similar. Neighbour who worked night shifts leaving her 3 kids home alone. Lots of weird comings and goings from the house that just didn’t “feel right”.

I don’t know if my flag reached SS thresholds or if any action was taken.

Unfortunately the older boy ended up in prison on drug and violence related charges as he was absolutely not making good choices when unsupervised.

I don’t regret making the call. But I’m sad it didn’t prevent harm.