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DD (15) and her boyfriend. Please help me navigate this

53 replies

InternetPortal · 22/07/2025 08:45

DD and new boyfriend are 15. First relationship for both. They're not having sex (so far), but it sounds like the physical stuff is ramping up quickly. I feel like she's just too young to deal with this emotionally (but not sure whether this is just me projecting as I was more like 18 when I had my first physical relationship), but it's obviously out of my control. She has said she feels like she can say no to anything she doesn't want to do and feels safe with her boyfriend. She's talking to me about it quite a lot (including getting reassurance that I don't think she's "being a slag" or doing anything "wrong" - obviously I reassure on this). I'm pretty sure that if I say "I think you're too young", I think she will just stop talking to me, so I'm mostly just listening (we've even had a laugh about some things, but then I worry I'm acting too much like her "mate" and need to get back into authoritarian mode). But I'm worried I'm letting her down by not telling her I think she really needs to wait. Help. I don't feel prepared for this as a parent and am worried I'm getting it all wrong. It's all so sudden - a few weeks ago, I didn't even know she fancied boys. Any wise mums to help, please?

OP posts:
BashfulClam · 25/07/2025 21:21

Fluffypotatoe123987 · 23/07/2025 18:46

Ive had this discussion from being young. My mum used to say to me. The pleasure of the flesh are the hardest to resist. Anyways at 14 my dd had the implant fitted. She also has the pill for periods whilst on the implant. Ive said I will not be a grandma to irresponsible teen behaviour and if they got pregnant and decided to keep the baby they have to move out. Old enough to have a baby old enough to live in your own home.

Terrible parenting!

Coco1379 · 23/08/2025 23:55

When I was advising my daughter about relationships I said that some boys may say they love you etc. etc, but if you are not sure, ask yourself how you would feel if you slept with him and then he didn’t want to see you again. If you think you would still be ok about it that will be fine, but be safe with contraception and STDs.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 24/08/2025 00:10

I think her coming to you and talking about being a slag is her asking for you to step in and put some boundaries in place for her. She doesn’t sound ready for sex and needs your help. Why are you letting them go to her bedroom in your house? She’s 15. I know on MN everyone seems to think it’s ok to have sex as a young teen but it’s really not. You need to have some open conversations with your DD about what she really wants. But honestly? I’d be encouraging her to get out and have fun with her friends rather than heavy petting in her bedroom.

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