Don't want dd to be under pressure in year 11.

[Forthisthread222]

Dd is behinde at school. She's just finished year 10 so will be going into year 11. She got the following marks end of year grades.

English language 3. Predicted 4
English literature 2. Predicted 0
Maths 1+ predicted 3-
Combined science 3-3 predicted 3-3
RE 2+ predicted 2
Business study p2 predicted p2
Geography 3 predicted 4
Creative media p2 predictive p2

Personally im not worried about her grades. I feel like there are alternatives in education that she could study at college or other educational settings. We are not an accedemic family. Well apart from my oldest ds . But everyone else not at all.

Dd feels under alot of pressure the school is very strict. There's definitely no school home life balance. I dont feel theres enough down time theres always something lingering.

I feel her grades dont define her as a person and her mental health is much more important. She's on the waiting list for CAMHS. She's in contact with samaritans. I know she was doing something with kooth but shes not mentioned them in a while. I dont think anything will come of CAMHS. But we will have to see.

I have given her lots of hugs told her not to worry . Told her to do her best for HER not the school its her who matters not them. I told her education is for ever. And theres alternatives in education such as animal courses, photography amd other things.

Im not sure how to take that post is it a dig at me? Sorry if I have misunderstood.

She's not going to another school. I dont think that's even allowed to hapoen at this stage unless its not possible due ti moving along away from school or something like that .

So she's just going to mooch through year 11 and fail all her GCSEs? That doesn't sound much fun.........

It's not like it was 30 years ago when I was at school. Teachers start putting pressure on from Y7.

DD1 went to a super-selective grammar who had learned their lessons about mental health and were very chilled. In comparison to DD2's school, a new free school academy, non-selective but desperate to be seen as academic. DD2 ended up dropping out altogether in Y10 having had poor attendance and never settled at high school. She always had lovely things said about her at primary school, never had any problem with homework, she was chilled out and enjoyed school. She did GCSEs with online school and tutors. I think she could have done more but only in a small, less pushy school setting that was just not available. Even all the local private schools are pushy. Or they cater for several SEN - DD2 has mild SEN but is basically bright. No-one caters for that in the modern state sector in most areas.

I don't think I'd have done well at DD2's school and I was probably in the top 5% academically at school, like DD1.

For one thing there were several different apps for homework and a couple of subjects where it was done in books instead. DD1 in comparison, four school years difference, everything was done in books and marked by teachers and THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE OF IT. I was helping DD2 a lot but it took us weeks to get proper logins for everything and for the apps to even work, even though we had bought her an up to date PC at home and had printers. Some things they were supposed to access on phones and though she had not the latest but a good iPhone apps didn't work or she couldn't login. I was constantly helping every night after doing a full time full on job myself, it was just homework for parents. then stuff was never marked or just marked by the app. DD2 felt it wasn't worthwhile. There was so much of it and if you at all got behind it was would take hours to catch up. I don't even take work home in my well-paid job! I finish at five and that's it. Some kids only had tablets or had to share devices with parents and siblings- while it's generally considered a well-off area not everyone is in that position. Lots of people didn't have printers or kids only had phones to work on at times. I just think the modern academy way of doing things exacerbates inequality. If we struggled - having money, time, being organised, I mean God help anyone else.

Plus all the rules. Detentions given out like sweets. DD2 never had behaviour issues at primary school but got detentions at high school for forgetting things, in spite of my efforts to help. She was never disruptive in class and just tying to concentrate and learn. It just made her horribly anxious. My only detentions at school were whole class ones (which made me quite angry at the time). At DD's school I'd have had several in Y7. I hated being told off, it would have made me anxious too or feel like I could be hung for a sheep as a lamb and perhaps disruptive and insubordinate when actually at my school I was very well behaved and wanted to learn. It's just completely counter-productive. DD2 very quickly thought "What's the point?" She would try her hardest and still get things wrong. I don't generally suffer from anxiety, I should add and am a functioning member of society with a very good job. Once we took DD2 out of school we got that happy bright girl back again.

The rest of society is NOT like secondary school. It does not set them up for life. They don't need to feel ridiculous amounts of pressure at 11 or 16 to be able to function as adults. Kids should be doing well because of school. The vast majority that do well, do so in spite of school not because of it. What on earth are we doing to them?

She may not fail all of them . But she then gos and does a level 1 course. And builds up.

I agree with everything you said . And I definitely feel what are we doing to them.😭💐

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and expecting different results.

Repeating y10 is unlikely to make much of a positive difference. The content will be the same. The work load will be the same. Just the DC will have an extra year at being asked to do things she finds v difficult.

She could do half the number of GCSEs

If the child is constantly worrying and self harming, mooching sounds preferable to me, over escalating to more severe harm.

If she gets the same grades she got in her most recent tests, she has enough to access a whole load of level 2 courses and will get help with her Maths for another couple of years. If she can achieve that without further deterioration to her mental health. Good on her.

Surely a new school, just doing English and maths and maybe her favourite other 2-3 subjects would be less stressful?

Mainstream schools aren't set up for this though, and the DD doesn't have an EHCP.

Added: Whereas doing her best for y11 then going to college do do a vocational course and Maths/English moves her forward and getting a similar result in terms of Level 2 passes.

To what end? Animal husbandry courses are all well and good, my brother did one and loved it - but jobs at the end are few and far between. Are you not better off helping her with just English and maths, getting her good grades in that and then getting her into an apprenticeship?

It sounds really idyllic - being the amazing mum who removes all pressure, until she’s years behind her peers and resitting because she doesn’t have the grades needed in English and maths.

Ex teacher.

state schools are measured on how many GCSEs their students get at age 15.

for this reason they are very resistant to students repeating years. If a child repeats year 10 they basically get zero on the school progress measure.

i have taught many students who were achieving at the op’s child’s level, and many others who did not get any GCSEs, mostly due to autism and other disabilities. None of these students were permitted to repeat a year.

Op I think you have a great attitude. Wish you and your daughter all the best.

English language 3. Predicted 4
English literature 2. Predicted 0
Maths 1+ predicted 3-
Combined science 3-3 predicted 3-3
RE 2+ predicted 2
Business study p2 predicted p2
Geography 3 predicted 4
Creative media p2 predictive p2

Looking at those results I'd say shes struggling and that in itself is causing her distress.

With those I'd be trying for level 2 courses as it gives her more choice and gets her out of the group of kids who just have no interest in doing anything which can be a real drag down.

With that aim (4x grade 3's) in mind I'd sit her down and ask her what her aims are. What are her interests? You mention Animal care for example. Then get all the college prospectuses/websites of everywhere she can reasonably travel to and look at what they offer. (There is no catchment for sixth form but also travel costs are not normally funded) Pick out those who meet her interests and book onto the open days which will come up in Sept/Oct/Nov. Take her to talk to the teachers and see what interests her. Find her something to aim for which interests her.

Once she has an aim work out a plan to get there. 4 x grade 3 at GCSE is achievable with where she is at without huge pressure. If she focuses on her English Lang, maths, double science and geography she should achieve whats needed. Speak to school. They won't allow her to drop out of all of the other 4 but should allow her to ditch 2. Her teachers will understand that their subject is not her focus - it happened with loads of kids each year - some will take this better than others and react differently. I'd make an appointment with the senco given she is under cahms she should already be on their radar and seek their help to plan an adapted timetable/approach which your daughter can then use to explain why she has put minimal effort into a particualr subject. This is quite a difficult thing to do for a contentious student as no matter how badly they are doing they find it difficult to not try their best so she will likely need some support there.

Anyway that was a lot of text... Hope she finds a path she enjoys OP!

And often there is no middle ground for kids to go to a school that would let them do say, five or six GCSEs they would be able to do in smaller class with kids who want to be there and learn in a less pressurized environment. There are special schools who let them do functional skills for those with more severe SEN and normal schools who have to push everyone to be academic. And a massively underfunded FE sector trying to pick up the pieces of the devastation caused by the secondary school system.

Thank you . That sounds good and positive

Her mental health comes first hands down. If doing an animal type course for example keeps her in education and she can do gcse English/maths or alternative as she gos and she does it a bit older than standard so be lt.

The different approach in teaching migjt even help her .

Agree with this. Without English and Maths at level 2 a lot of opportunities , even less academic pathways, will be closed. At least focus on achieving level 4 in these and ideally up to five subjects. She would struggle with likes of rs with lower levels of literacy, likewise science relates to maths. Try not to limit her potential by your attainment levels. Does school or SENDCO think she could achieve higher with more support?

Absolutely.
You sound like a great mum who truly knows her daughter and what's best for her.

I’m amazed at how many posters are so single minded and unable to see past GCSE performance. Some young people are simply not able to perform at GCSE for a multitude of reasons. Repeating y10 (not possible in state school) will not make a difference to these young people. This is why there are a range of entry level and upwards courses available. Yes, life has a nice simple trajectory for those with GCSE maths and English and a handful of others, but it doesn’t always work like that. I say this with the confidence of someone with over 25 years working with those who did have plenty of GCSES, but knowing the alternative options down the corridor for those who didn’t.

Hi op.
Please ask about functional skills for maths and English. No need to do a gcse if she won't pass...but she's a year out and she could get 4s in both by next summer.
Also, you can ask the school to the reduce the gcses taken - so if there's one she hates/won't realistically pass she could drop that one?
Almost all 16+ provisions (including apprenticeships) only require 5 x 4s at gcse but many accept FS for maths and English.
If she can, volunteering can be a great way to get a "foot in the door" if she has any specific interests (such as animal care).
My eldest dd got a 3 for maths in her Y10 mocks.
After a lot of hard work, she got a 6 in the gcse.
Schools generally prioritise Y11s (often HODs take Y11 classes), so she may get 4s.
If its revision shes struggling with then the cgp revision books are great.
Bbc bitezize is also good.
Good luck x

Also, youngminds is a great website for young people who have semh issues and has a helpline for parents, too.

I have a friend who struggled with secondary school for the style of learning and it took an emotional toll. She did an animal related course after GCSEs which was emotionally healing and got her another rung up the ladder. With a bit more thinking time she trained to be a HCA then that led into nursing. It's been a longer route than the standard GCSEs, A-levels, uni path but just longer to build those skills and confidence to reach that outcome. Spending more time along that path in the 16-19 years also meant that she was more sure that it was a good path by the time she got to nursing qualifications.

Look into suitable courses for plan A and plan B. Surviving y11 will be easier to get through knowing that there are appropriate routes beyond it.

Work with the school to manage her workload and expectations.
She needs to work smart, not just hard for few gains and even detriment.

@Forthisthread222

Unfortunatly all DC have to keep going to lessons and retaking English and maths whist at college ifs the law .

OP you've got time to try and get her English and maths tuition also look at u tube for English
They have loads of teachers on there doing different books and things