Arriving back in airport after holiday and going separate ways

[culturevulture1984]

Partner going directly to work event.

I feel sad. He goes to a lot of events/ activities and usually has somewhere else/ better to be. I actually pointed this out on holiday.

I understand event is important but it feels crap.

bit dramatic tbh

Work is work
how was your holiday?

We went away as a family and I got on one long haul flight home with the kids and DH on another to work (away another week)
that’s life

Why does it feel crap? You’ve just spent at least the last week together. He’s got to go to work. You say the event is important?
Presumably keeping his job is important?
What did you hope you would be doing after the airport?

That he has to go direct to an important work event after a trip isn't an issue on its own - the sad bit is you say he usually has somewhere else/ better to be

Yes, that's why it feels crap. Holiday went OK. Some rows. We had sex once, I made the moves. Usually I pay for everything. This time we took it in turns, day by day, at my suggestion.

He's a taker, and I'm getting sick of it.

Welcome back to reality.
Good you enjoyed your hols, seems a fairly good trade off to me.🤷

It doesn't sound as though you get much out of the relationship OP.
How long have you been together?

Why don’t you move on as it doesn’t sound great. You do realise that you don’t have to stay with him. Being single can be fun.

A long time. Young adult kids.😞

You only had sex once?

how relaxing, my DH is always horny on holiday and it gets a bit exhausting after a while.

jokes aside though your relationship sounds quite one sided. Was he attentive in the daytimes at least?

I think the problem is much deeper than him going to a work event. Maybe focus on identifying that and have a discussion with him either work on it or go your separate ways

Attentive doesn't really describe it, more like entitled.

In that case, going your separate ways can only be a step in the right direction.

I had the discussion with him on the holiday, ie the relationship is dead in the water and I dont want to go on like this.

It is sooo onesided. I don't think he has any idea what a relationship actually involves.

What keeps you with him?

So you're the higher earner?

I don't want to upend my life heading towards hard earned retirement.

Breadwinner for years.

Your second post makes it quite clear that this problem has very little to do with him going to a work event straight from the airport.
You don’t say whether you live together but, if you have young adult kids, I’m guessing you probably do.
Your posts sound sad and resentful at the same time. It sounds as though you resent him having a busier, potentially more exciting life than you. You don’t feel desired or prioritised and you feel that he keeps his money to himself and spends yours whenever he can. It sounds as though you think he’s selfish and it sounds as though you’re lacking joy in your life and relationship. Are those reasonable assumptions?
And if so, are there good points in your relationship too? And, do you think your DP is happy? Do you have a sense of what he would say about the situation if he was describing it?

if that is your ultimate decision, you need to just pull back and accept a disengaged relationship. Live your life semi-independently

Yes, that's exactly it. I said it all out on holiday.

He tried to tell me I was BU, being unreasonable. He has to work long hours on his business/ passion and his sport is important to him.

So that has absolutely nothing to do with a single thing in your first post. Is this for real, or are school holidays being more sophisticated?

Well this sounds like the bigger problem. Are you unhappy OP?

You should feel pleased that he’s going off to work then and you can have your own space.