Arriving back in airport after holiday and going separate ways

[culturevulture1984]

Partner going directly to work event.

I feel sad. He goes to a lot of events/ activities and usually has somewhere else/ better to be. I actually pointed this out on holiday.

I understand event is important but it feels crap.

I feel lonely and unhappy, yes.

You don't want to upend your retirement plans, which is fair enough.
By your conversations, however, it sounds like he's giving as much as he's prepared to.
Are you happy to detach emotionally and find more exciting things to fill your time?
He obviously has his life worked out and sounds like he's enjoying it (largely at hour expense), so you now have to carve out the same for yourself.

That's helpful. He isn't prepared to give.

Detach or divorce. I am a person who wants/ needs intimacy and it's not on offer here.

I don't understand why you are upset that he isn't coming home with you, I would be elated if such a selfish prick decided to leave me alone. I would make it a much more permanent situation actually.

Look, if you want actual advice on what to do with your (apparently) dead-in-the-water relationship, you need to provide actual information.

you have stated that…

• he is a taker
• you are the breadwinner
• but You don't want to upend your retirement plans (meaning?)
• plus there is no intimacy unless you push for it.

so, what is actually going on? Ideally, what would you like to happen?

Meh. Went away with kids (3 and five) and husband to Spain and he was travelling on to another part of Spain for a conference so I had to get them home on my own, and when I did was greeted by my 16 year old step son who’d had an unauthorised party which had done thousands of pounds worth of damage (hazards of social media and living in London). Sad doesn’t cover it.
Sounds like it’s just as well your partner is not coming home with you - time to give the relationship a think.