Page 3 | Toddler care during labour

Kl86 · 2025-07-17T09:51:01+00:00

Mother in law has asked if our neighbours could look after 3 year old if we unexpectedly go into labour in middle of the night. Apart from passing conversation we don't know them too well and I also feel I don't want her help at all based on this. Any thoughts? And I am searching for babysitters in the wiltshire are who can help with this.

Zonder · 18/07/2025 07:29

Kl86 · 17/07/2025 14:04

That's what I thought, other family members are over 45 minutes away and we are not in a close enough friendship with our nearby friends. Also our neighbour's husband has cancer and Mil knows this

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At your stage in life I'd say work on your friendships if you can't rely on your family.

You need people around you who you support and who support you when needed. It sounds like you're trying to be an island.

55lookalive · 18/07/2025 07:30

crumblingschools · 18/07/2025 07:25

I ended up going to the hospital at 3am when my contractions very quickly ramped up, went to nearly every minute within about half an hour of contractions starting. Who would you call in similar circumstances, assuming not so nice step dad would like to be called at that time

Then the husband/partner would be staying with the other child/children I guess

Hodgemollar · 18/07/2025 09:43

Kl86 · 18/07/2025 06:25

This is a slightly separate topic but they had her for a few hours the other morning while we were having an ultrasound scan and we arrived earlier than expected, they were feeding her McDonald's. She's almost 3 and we try to avoid giving her salt, sugary food, anything with palm oil. We also reduce TV as much as possible especially overstimulating shows. And they know this, they followed this meal with a chocolate digestive and cocomelon. and that same evening at my brother in laws birthday (where she mentioned this neighbour emergency thing) kept giving her sugary chocolate cake with those coloured sprinkles on top while I kept trying to take them away. It's not the first time they give her junk. I am so pissed off and I'm not going to let her go there without us anymore.

If someone is watching your 3 year old a bit of cake or tv is fine.
You can’t expect someone to wake up and come to you in the middle of the night for a favour while also moaning about every little thing they do.

CarpetKnees · 18/07/2025 16:59

Zonder · 18/07/2025 07:29

At your stage in life I'd say work on your friendships if you can't rely on your family.

You need people around you who you support and who support you when needed. It sounds like you're trying to be an island.

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This.

Particularly when you are someone who wants to control your MiL rather than let her spoil her dgc on the odd occasion she gets to look after her, it would seem like a wise investment of your time to make some friends.
How does anyone get to this stage in life without having people around them who would help out, as a one off, in an emergency situation ?

Original poster

Kl86 · 19/07/2025 08:36

We moved to this area about a year and half ago for husbands work, while we know some neighbours and work acquaintances casually we haven't established very close relationships yet. It's looking like we will ask his brother who lives 45 minutes away if he would be happy to be on standby for night emergencies. Otherwise looking into a paid sitter, prob need one for other occasions anyway.

OP posts:

Helpmeplease2025 · 19/07/2025 08:46

Kl86 · 18/07/2025 06:25

This is a slightly separate topic but they had her for a few hours the other morning while we were having an ultrasound scan and we arrived earlier than expected, they were feeding her McDonald's. She's almost 3 and we try to avoid giving her salt, sugary food, anything with palm oil. We also reduce TV as much as possible especially overstimulating shows. And they know this, they followed this meal with a chocolate digestive and cocomelon. and that same evening at my brother in laws birthday (where she mentioned this neighbour emergency thing) kept giving her sugary chocolate cake with those coloured sprinkles on top while I kept trying to take them away. It's not the first time they give her junk. I am so pissed off and I'm not going to let her go there without us anymore.

so when they do look after her, you give them a list of rules to follow?

I can see why she’s reluctant. I can’t be bothered to look after my nephew as SIL is very PFB about what he eats and watches, so I’m not having him in anything less than an emergency.

thepariscrimefiles · 19/07/2025 09:01

gotellsomeone · 17/07/2025 15:57

Which is totally fair, it’s not her responsibility. You clearly don’t like or trust her very much but yet seem to expect and be happy for her to look after your child.

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It's not her MIL's responsibility but it does make her an utterly shit grandmother if she refuses to look after her grandchild while her DIL is in labour so that her son can be present to support his wife. It's hardly regular childcare, it's an emergency situation.

Zonder · 19/07/2025 10:13

Do you go to any toddler groups? Have you met any friends and neighbours at a similar stage of life? I met some good friends at a toddler group and we were the ones there for each other when there were crises / we needed emergency child care or whatever.

Pinty · 19/07/2025 10:19

Kl86 · 18/07/2025 06:25

This is a slightly separate topic but they had her for a few hours the other morning while we were having an ultrasound scan and we arrived earlier than expected, they were feeding her McDonald's. She's almost 3 and we try to avoid giving her salt, sugary food, anything with palm oil. We also reduce TV as much as possible especially overstimulating shows. And they know this, they followed this meal with a chocolate digestive and cocomelon. and that same evening at my brother in laws birthday (where she mentioned this neighbour emergency thing) kept giving her sugary chocolate cake with those coloured sprinkles on top while I kept trying to take them away. It's not the first time they give her junk. I am so pissed off and I'm not going to let her go there without us anymore.

It sounds as though you don't like them looking after her anyway so I can understand why mother in law is suggesting you get someone else to look after her

Toddler care during labour

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