SIL wedding

[Blueyfan90]

I really need help right now.
So my SIL gets married next month, and even though i'm looking forward to go, i'm also dreading it. I have bad anxiety and when it kicks off, it sets my IBS off, i also don't like my picture taken, one because i'm a big girl but also because i sweat so much.
The sweating is getting worse so i'm hoping to get into the doctors tomorrow. But my SIL wants everyone to walk for 25 mins from the first location where she'll be getting married to the second location for the night do. Apparently they'll be filming it and taking pictures.
Not only do i sweat loads, but its been a long time since i've not worn trainers, i'm going to be looking at some dolly shoes, (high heels is a no for me) so not only do i need to find some comfy shoe but i need a comfy dress and some chub rub shorts for underneath. I have a big arse too, so i'm hoping someone on here can point me in the right direction for comfy shoes, a dress to fit me and some pointers on how to have my hair.
I am not girly at all, so even makeup is getting me nervous. My hair is very thick, wavy so an up do maybe.
Can some one help me, i'm ready to ball my eyes out. I really want to go and celebrate her day with my husband and kids, but i want to feel comfortable but also feel good about my self

What size, colours, sleeve length, dress length do you prefer? What is your budget? Your hair sounds glorious so you have options (I have fine, thin, flat hair which only does one thing). I suspect many ladies will change into trainers or comfier shoes for a walk of that length, it’s about 1-1.5 miles at normal walking pace so quite a hike. I’d also look at a portable fan to carry in your bag. With makeup, less is more, usually - do you wear any at all? Lots of people on here are happy to help with vicarious shopping suggestions, but we do better with a steer!

Hey. So shoes, I love fit flops. There is some nonsense about them making you fitter, ignore that but they are so, so comfy I worked in a very large independent shoe shop so had access to lots of different ones and was on my feet all day and I always went for fitflops. They do some in glitzy styles so grand for a wedding if you're keeping it casual.

Where do you sweat? A friend had great success using botox to stop sweating, maybe look into that?

If you're sweating you're going to want some light make up. Do you have money for a make up artist, they will know how to work with you and can massively boost your confidence. If not try fenty blurring skin tint for foundation, nars concealer, get your eyelashes done and tinted so you don't have to worry about mascara running and go for a you but better lip stick, any make up counter will be able to get you one.

Outfit wise, do you have something in mind? Best to go for linen or cotton to make it breathable.

Remember, no one thinks about you like you think about you. They probably won't even notice you and you don't have to look at the pictures if you don't want to.

Snag- chub rub shorts. Cooling and comfy.

Wear trainers - with socks- it'll be fine for the walk.

Wear something you feel happy in. Don't try to dress for someone else.

Would that be wide trousers and a glam top? Jumpsuit?

I really like popsy. They have a range of styles and some gorgeous patterns. My favourite thing about them though is that they have human (or not model) models- so you can see women of all shapes and sizes. There's loads of pictures on the FB group. They do also have some cotton dresses if artificial fibres are too sweaty.

So i'm 35 years old and a size 24 with a big ass and what they call cankles and i'm not girly at all! 😂
I'm think a dress with some sort of sleeves and maybe to cover my ankles. I've never worn flip flops because i have a weird little toe.
Last time i wore make up was my wedding day and someone did it for me, i use to wear foundation as a teenager but never did it right, but i think i might see if someone could help me with my make up, and if they'll only use a bit, my skin breaks out with spots so easily.
In the last 6 months, i sweat everywhere, my sides, back, boobs, neck, all over my head and back of my knees, this hot weather has made me look like i'm in the shower constantly.
Has for my hair, i've never been able to tame it, it never stays straight, so i was thinking an updo but because i always have it up in a pony tail, i haven't a clue where to begin.

https://www.popsyclothing.co.uk/collections/womens-clothing

Jumpsuits. Comfy, flattering, pockets. Or there's plenty of dresses, but I just think the jumpsuits are flattering and less 'girly'. 🤣

I could be barking up the wrong tree with this style for you, and if so I apologise, but I see lots of recommendations for shapeless 'stylish' dresses which look wonderful on sone people, but they don't work for most people who aren't tall and thin.

Are you near a city? Most make up brands do complimentary make up sessions - boots, Selfridge's, John Lewis. You can tell them what you want and they'll tweak it accordingly - this works for whatever budget you've got too.

Make an appointment with a hair dresser as early as possible in the morning for an up do. You’ll feel better just getting it off the nape of your neck. I wouldn’t bother too much with foundation if you don’t feel completely comfortable wearing it. Do your eyes, your brows and stick a bit of lipstick on, but leave the rest.

Have a look at Scarlett & Jo for dresses. They cinch you in at the waist, but are so comfortable. Yours sell shorts etc. You can buy a paper fan, or one of those that are small enough to fit into a handbag. Flat shoes. Sod heels if you have to walk in the heat. Get some baby wipes and a travel sized deodorant if you can fit them in your bag. It’ll keep you feeling fresh and you’ll be able to wipe your forehead and neck without worry about wiping foundation off.

OR, you decide that you don’t have to do what the bride wants, because she wants it. Personally, I’d be last out of venue 1 and sneaking off round the corner to call a taxi. I’m not walking for 25 minutes, in heels, in the height of summer, with hot flushes. Sod that for a game of soldiers.

Do you drive? Can you offer to take the oldies from one venue to the next?

Woul you feel better booking for someone to do your hair and makeup? That could be one less thing to worry about.

For the walk, take comfy shoes to change into (or if you're reeeeaaallly concerned about it, fake a very minor injury to justify getting a taxi).

Please try not to worry. The bride and groom want you there because they love you, they won't care if you're sweaty and neither will anyone else (unless they are horrible in which case their opinion doesn't matter).

For a dress, what about something like this? The floaty arms should be quite cool and won't show sweat patches.

Have a wonderful time!

That's a great shout!

I wouldn’t be doing that walk, it’s asking to end up as a hot sweaty mess. Just say you’ll sort yourself out a cab. You can explain why if you want.
Is the bride picturing a happy stream of guests laughing and smiling down a tree lined country lane?You can bet there’ll be other people not up for that.
Alternatively have a bag that you can take to the reception ( maybe in advance) with fresh underwear, wipes and makeup, so you can freshen up when you get there.

Try Perspi-guard max strength antiperspirant - £10.79 Amazon. I get sweaty pits - this stop it dead!

I would not do the walk and I would be very honest about it to SIL. "I do not want to be a sweaty mess for photos so I will drive to the and meet you there." I would also go to a store that has a variety if options in your size and tell them you need help. Then get good comfortable sandals in a dressy shade.

Oh I sympathise, from experience. Definitely wear the comfiest shoes you can for the walk, then change when you get there. Take an old-fashioned fan, I think they're more effective than electric ones. You can get round ones that fold up tiny - Flying Tiger or Amazon. Also carry a mini facial spray and wear a Cool Scarf.

You can get anti perspiration creams for your face - can't remember the name but it comes in an orange tube. But I think you can get stronger versions on prescription, so ask your GP.

AKT does anti perspiration cream that can be used anywhere on your body (don't know about your face). It's pricey but has got good reviews.

Or, just a thought: get a bad knee on the day and be forced to get an uber.

Try Perspi-guard max strength antiperspirant - £10.79 Amazon. I get sweaty pits - this stop it dead!

Op, get a secret taxi. If anyone notices...
"What SIL? Yes, I took a taxi! Silly me, sprained my ankle this morning, gosh, what am I like?" "Don't worry SIL, its better now." OP is next seen cutting up the dance floor.

p.s those dresses at Scarlett and Jo are all lovely. Def get one of those. You're going to look great OP.

Oh you poor thing - these sort of events can be stressful if you are not that confident in your appearance. I think you need to remember though that most people really won’t be scrutinising what you are wearing. Just find something you feel comfortable in.

my advice would be to start finding yourself things to wear now - don’t put it off! The longer you have the more you can order and try on!

find a nice long, flowing dress in light colours or a pattern that doesn’t show sweat marks. So no blocks of mid range colours which will darken noticeably.
Get your self some snag chub rub shorts - they do work well. Find some flat comfy shoes - don’t get heels if you don’t find them comfortable. There are lots of nice sandals and posh flip flops out there.

On the day have a small bag with you with a handheld fan, spare undies, deodorant, body wipes so you can go and have a quick freshen up when you feel you need it. Keep your make up simple - if you sweat on your face then don’t do foundation. Keep face powder in your bag and touch it up when you go the loo, eye shadow, mascara and a bit of lippy will be fine. Practice an updo to keep your hair off your neck - if you don’t want the expense of a hairdresser can your husband help you? Mine is quite good at pinning up a messy bun style - he likes the challenge!

Good luck - I’ll see if I can find some dress links on line

What if it rains??? All these beautiful guests dripping.

Be the driver taking those who can't walk there.

Perhaps try a BB makeup cream? I have been using the Garnier one this summer when in the need of make-up. I've been surprised at how decent it is.

I would look at a jumpsuit or trousers and loose layers - in a month it could be snowing (ha ha), I would look at up to tutorials on instagram/ TikTok and if you can afford it then have someone put your hair up

soft glowing skin is very trendy - so a bit of perspiration is fine, maybe get a cooling setting spray and then a nice mascara and one of the new jelly blush / lip sticks to give you so colour / again easy to top up during the day and it won't slide like a more powdery finsh

you are you - and loved for that, loose trousers you can then wear comfortable shoes under, easy glowing make up and an amazing up do and you'll be amazing

I don't have a problem with sweating, and I certainly wouldn't walk a mile or so from the ceremony to the reception. I would either take my car or book a cab. I wouldn't give a toss what anyone else thought about it.

I wouldn’t want to do the walk in all my best clothing and I’d be quite open about it.

You can get makeup setting spray. I got L'Oréal Paris Infallible 3 Second Setting Mist, definitely helps when face and hairline gets sweaty.

For clothes, I'd go with plain loose trousers, a camisole/vest top with a longer linen or chiffon open shirt over it in a flattering colour or print. Cool and dressy looking. If you do go for a dress, I've got Sloggi cotton long briefs (on Amazon) which are comfortable and cool - go up one size though. For shoes, sparkly trainers or low closed toe espadrille type sandals. I've got wide feet with very high arches and have found these sorts of shoes very comfy.

For the sweating, if you can afford Botox for under arm I'd highly recommend it. If not, DriClor antiperspirant is very effective as is the Mitchum Gel. I plaster it down my spine, under my boobs and round my waist, then use Dove antiperspirant spray or Mitchum spray over the top. Doesn't totally stop it but definitely helps. I felt like I had the amazon river running down my back in the recent heatwave and this approach helped a lot. You can get antiperspirant wipes as well, to freshen up in the loo when you arrive at venue 2 (why oh why is she expecting everyone to walk that far in summer?!).

This is really good advice i would add...

As a fellow sweater i use hibiscrub for body and feet and Mitcham deodorant.
You can go full tilt and botox it or dri clor (word of warning i found it very rough/ irritating on my skin)

Hair keep it simple - id do half up half down with a simple bar clip or a pony tail.

Bring a good sized bag and have a fan (like a Spanish one in case the church is hot you can get plain white ones cheaply on amazon - if you get on tlwith SIL take a load to the church people appreciate them.

Exfoliate your face gently but daily for a week before and moisturise at night ... make up sits better on hydrated skin

Have a nice time...
If you feel overwhelmed its fine to pop out for 10 mins for fresh air... no one cares what you do really everyone is looking at the bride and groom

What sort of dresses do you like? You could dress this up with nice black sandals.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su510256/f49431#f49431

Some lovely dresses here OP
https://www.yoursclothing.co.uk/

If I were you, I'd skip the walk and drive - just tell SIL you've got a painful dodgy knee! Get your hair done and go minimal on the make-up - a tinted moisturiser, cheek & lip cream tint, waterproof mascara and a slick of lip oil is all you need. Try and relax and remember no-one is going to be looking and judging you, people are busy with their own stuff! Take a little bag with some wipes, change of undies, body spray etc so you can tidy/freshen up if you get too sweaty. Above all, try and enjoy yourself because you sound lovely and you deserve it 💐

Definitely try Scarlett & Jo for your dress. They have some lovely styles in midi and maxi length, with small sleeves or elbow length sleeves.