Inappropriate comments from year 6 boy

[LilacBlossomFlower]

My DD (just turned 10) is in a mixed class (year 5 and 6), there were some inappropriate comments said a few weeks back by the boys, this was addressed by the HT. Today, one of the boys in her class said to her, ‘I want to make a baby with you, when you’re asleep, I’m going to cum on you!’ He then proceeded to say, ‘Me and you, in the toilet, whilst making a hole shape with his fingers and pushing his middle finger into it!’ (As to insinuate sex).
To be honest, I’m fuming, I am writing an email to the HT this evening.

God that's disturbing. I'd report to social services as well. He's clearly being exposed to adult stuff.

It's the school safeguard lead you need to speak to. ASAP.

Make sure you follow it up- this is definitely a safeguarding issue and needs to be escalated up the chain as it’s likely the y6 child is exposed to porn or is being abused

That's really concerning hopefully the school will be contacting ss as their is clearly something seriously wrong at home

Oh that poor boy, what must be happening in his life 😞

This is a huge safeguarding concerns and you must immediately report it (in writing) to the headteacher. I understand you are fuming because it's your daughter, but there's also a huge concern about what is happening with this boy out of school, or what he is being exposed to, as it is not normal for an 11 year old to come out with that sort of comment. There needs to be a safeguarding investigation as soon as possible.

In addition you need to ask them how they plan on safeguarding your daughter from sexual harassment and abuse in the school. They need to show that they are taking girls safety seriously

Never mind the poor boy, what about the op's DD? Has this boy got an older brother? Could he have heard stuff from him?

He’s probably watching pornography.
As are many many children his age and younger.

My DS is in Y6. They've just had the making a baby, consent and relationship section of sex education. It covered all of that vocabulary but obviously not the finger thing. So knowing the language itself is not necessarily unexpected. However his use of the words in this way is concerning. DS and the rest of his class were on mass pretty disgusted by the whole thing.

I hope your DD is not too upset.

He leaves to move up to secondary school in September, but last time there was a situation where the boys were using inappropriate language, I don’t think the HT dealt with it well, the children in my DD’s class all pretty much have mobile phones too, my DD doesn’t.
I will write an email and talk to the HT tomorrow morning.
My daughter doesn’t fully understand the context behind what he was saying, I don’t intend to explain to her what he meant, but I will explain the language used is completely unacceptable to her.

It helps if you use the correct jargon in your email. Your daughter has become the victim of child-on-child sexual harassment and has received threats of sexual abuse in the toilets. It is hard for the HT to just brush that off as boys being silly. If you receive a dismissive response I would forward your complaint to the chair of governors. It might be worth browsing part 1 of the document "keeping children safe in education" so you can reference the school's legal duties regarding sexual harassment.

Your poor daughter and at ten years old I find it horrifying.

Vile little c*@ts. This is how they start. I would come down on them like a ton of bricks.

Can you move schools? Sounds like the culture is dreadful

^ this, wording and reading up before you send your email. I would also CC in whoever is listed as your school's DSL - Designated Safeguard Leader, it will be on your school website.

School have to take this seriously, peer on peer abuse is a huge focus in safeguarding. Plus, there will be concern for the boy as others have said, which needs investigating. You need to report this tonight. The heads email address will probably be head@ or headteacher@ the school email address and I would email them directly in this situation.

The website must contain info about where to report safeguarding concerns. I think it is a legal requirement

I had to make almost exactly the same complaint when DD was in Yr 6 years ago and as a teacher, was well-aware of the safe-guarding implications. The school dealt with it well and had a special Yr 6 assembly on the matter. Unfortunately, as someone who works with 11 year old yr 7s, this has been par for the course for years, since smartphones became readily available. Despite one’s own family rules and parental philosophy about screen time and apps, I can guarantee that 10 and 11 year olds will be exposed to this by children whose parents don’t have the same boundaries or who have elder siblings + siblings’ friends who show and tell them about this stuff - and it won’t just be ‘big boys’ who think it’s funny to expose younger children to this stuff.

That's awful hope your daughter is okay op. This lad got it from somewhere, wether that be from home or other kid in school, school have a duty to protect all children involved so definitely have firm words with the headteacher and seen as there's not long to go til the summer holidays and this lad is moving up to secondary school I would ring social services just in case school brush it to the side with the lad moving schools.

So bad, his clearly exposed to stuff he shouldn't be. Definitely tell the school!

Thank you for all the responses.
I am writing an email now.

I remember boys doing that finger gesture in primary school, I had no clue what I meant . That language needs stamping out in school asap, your poor DD.

This is a report from the Children's Commissioner published in 2023.
https://www.childrenscommissioner.gov.uk/resource/a-lot-of-it-is-actually-just-abuse-young-people-and-pornography/

@BodenCardiganNot

Thanks for posting that link.

There are a lot of threads on MN where the OP casually says I don't mind my partner/ H watching porn. I always wonder if they really know or understand the violence that women are subjected to in porn. If they do how can they be so accepting of it.
It's just heartbreaking that young people are being exposed to porn at such young ages and this is shaping their view of sex and relationships.