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Original poster

Followed around the supermarket by a stranger

50 replies

Heylittlesongbird · 14/07/2025 19:10

I had a really unsettling incident in the supermarket last week. A complete stranger started following me around, standing near me, watching me. I'd taken my mother shopping so found her and explained to her what I thought was happening. He quickly appeared near us. Whatever I went to look at, he turned up by us. We would move several aisles straight away and he still appeared. He'd stand and watch me, or try to get to whatever I was looking at. At one point I said sorry and moved away hoping it would de-escalate the situation. It happened about 10 times during my visit. He felt malevolent and cross with me. My mum said afterwards she was trying to block me from him with her trolley.

In the end we just decided to leave and check out. I saw him leave through the self checkout while I was at a staffed till. I didn't see him in the car park or I would have gone straight back in to the shop.

I got really cross with myself on the way home that I hadn't asked someone who worked at the supermarket for help. I felt so silly at the time and it just felt too surreal to go up to a staff member and say I was being followed. But on the drive home I realised I needed to do something. I rang and talked to the supermarket and explained what had just happened. I also wrote down everything I could remember about the incident and emailed it to the manager.

I explained that I was really worried about him doing it to someone else and I couldn't believe that this was an isolated incident. That I recognised this is not the shops fault and that I didn't talk to anyone at the time. He sent a pleasant reply saying that he would have it investigated urgently and to let them know if there is anything else they can do to support me.

I guess I'm wondering if there is anything else I should do? Would it be appropriate to reply and ask to be updated on their findings, or if it was an isolated incident? I have been assuming that they won't really be able to tell me what they find out so haven't wanted to put them in the position of having to tell me so.

OP posts:
Catnapsallday · 14/07/2025 19:30

Unless the supermarket has security cams in all the aisles, they have no proof or even a proper idea what this person looks like.
Somehow I doubt they will do anything but the manager said all the right things to you as a value customer.

Holiday24 · 14/07/2025 19:31

Sorry that this happened to you, it sounds horrible. I think you did the right thing by contacting the supermarket.

I don't think there's any harm in calling again for an update. It may be that there is nothing further they can do but at least they will be aware in case something similar happens again.

ButteredRadish · 14/07/2025 19:37

You sound very paranoid OP. Do you suffer from Anxiety? Sometimes it can feel like you’re being followed when someone is shopping at the same speed as you and you cross paths on each aisle but honestly, it’s just that you’re shopping at the same speed!
I’m not sure what exactly you expect the supermarket to do!? I can assure you they will not be “investigating” anything as that’s pretty much impossible as,

  1. They have no idea who you are on CCTV as they only have your name from your email
  2. They have no idea which customer he is even if they find him on CCTV
  3. They can’t involve police as no crime has been committed.
So what sort of “investigation” they’re going to perform is a mystery to me.
RentalWoesNotFun · 14/07/2025 19:45

Presumably you’d have to report it to the police, in a few months time they will ask for footage from the store and look to see if what you said was true.

Original poster
Heylittlesongbird · 14/07/2025 19:48

Holiday24 · 14/07/2025 19:31

Sorry that this happened to you, it sounds horrible. I think you did the right thing by contacting the supermarket.

I don't think there's any harm in calling again for an update. It may be that there is nothing further they can do but at least they will be aware in case something similar happens again.

That was my concern, making sure they're looking out for it with anyone else.

OP posts:
Strawberrri · 14/07/2025 19:50

That is weird - especially as you had your mother with you.
Next time reach up for something on the top shelf and accidentally brain him with it.

Quite scary - he could have followed you to your car

littlebilliie · 14/07/2025 19:52

This happened to me last year. I ended standing next to a member of staff filling up a unit in the freezer section. The man stood a few feet away watch me. I think he was planning to snatch my bag eventually he walked off unnerving though

sidebirds · 14/07/2025 19:55

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Heylittlesongbird · 14/07/2025 19:55

ButteredRadish · 14/07/2025 19:37

You sound very paranoid OP. Do you suffer from Anxiety? Sometimes it can feel like you’re being followed when someone is shopping at the same speed as you and you cross paths on each aisle but honestly, it’s just that you’re shopping at the same speed!
I’m not sure what exactly you expect the supermarket to do!? I can assure you they will not be “investigating” anything as that’s pretty much impossible as,

  1. They have no idea who you are on CCTV as they only have your name from your email
  2. They have no idea which customer he is even if they find him on CCTV
  3. They can’t involve police as no crime has been committed.
So what sort of “investigation” they’re going to perform is a mystery to me.

The thought that I would look paranoid was what stopped me saying anything at the time. No, I don't suffer from anxiety. It is exactly thinking people would think I was imagining it that made me not say anything at the time. I think we do each other a disservice when we automatically say things like that.

I know what you mean about crossing paths. This was very different and I have given the supermarket a far more detailed description than I will on here. However, I felt targeted and my mother agreed. For the record I'm in my 50s, she's nearly 80. I would consider us both very level headed.

1&2 I gave them a very full description of the timings and what was being worn and features.

3 I agree - it's not illegal. That's why I haven't gone down the "log it with 101 route".

I assume by investigation they will look at the cctv and keep it on record in case someone else has trouble.

OP posts:
InSpainTheRain · 14/07/2025 19:59

I also had this - M&S Slough. The guy kept following me around, standing very close, staring at me. Even though I was in a public place I felt intimidated. I went to the info desk but they took so long to get anyone to the desk I didn't wait
I finished picking up the things I wanted and went through checkout. After I'd been at the desk he didn't approach me again. Not a nice experience, I'd definitely be prepared and play if differently next time.

IReallyLoveItHere · 14/07/2025 20:02

Yes, being accused of over-reacting is used to minimise women's experiences all the time.

You should probably have spoken to staff at the time, although the best thing to do if you felt safe would've been to make a fuss, be loud and ask why he's owing you.

You were right to report it. I bet its not an isolated case. I'd actually report it to police, there's no harm in it.

IReallyLoveItHere · 14/07/2025 20:04

If you're feeling unnerved at going back carry an attack alarm. You can 'accidentally' set it off if you feel the need, it'll get rid of anyone following you and you're not actually accusing anyone of anything.

Aldiisnodifferenttowaitrose · 14/07/2025 20:04

I would have asked him why he was following me. I probably wouldn't if it had been a back alley on a dark night as it could turn nasty but in a supermarket with people around I absolutely would tackle it openly with them. If it turned nasty then the shop staff would call the police.

Serencwtch · 14/07/2025 20:15

Could well be a store detective or loss prevention officer.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 14/07/2025 20:16

A plain clothes store detective?

2dogsandabudgie · 14/07/2025 20:23

Do you think he could have thought you were someone else?

User9784754 · 14/07/2025 20:34

The most obvious answer is usually correct. Just a creepy fucking man. A lot of stalkers and criminals start off by doing socially weird things like following women around, staring at them, making them feel uncomfortable etc. They get a kick out of having power over a stranger by doing things that can't be directly proven as illegal.

Some might do this for years before actually committing a serious crime. Pretty sure it's much more common that many assume. Most women have had at least one encounter in their life with a very creepy male. There was a viral Tiktok going around recently of a weird-looking young man who walked up to a group of girls in a park (think it was Regents Park) and just stared at them. He refused to go even when directly asked to leave, being told he was a creep and after a girl starting filming him as evidence.

Loads of men are just gross and creepy. The only upside is if you encounter them as strangers and they have no way of terrorising you further. To be honest, nothing you do can prevent it happening again. Even if they get banned from one supermarket, they will just find another location with other victims.

Original poster
Heylittlesongbird · 14/07/2025 21:07

2dogsandabudgie · 14/07/2025 20:23

Do you think he could have thought you were someone else?

I did wonder that. At one point he was holding his phone up towards me and I wondered if he was taking and sending a photo of me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Heylittlesongbird · 14/07/2025 21:11

Serencwtch · 14/07/2025 20:15

Could well be a store detective or loss prevention officer.

I would really hope that if it was he'd be more subtle and that the shop would be honest and tell me I'd triggered a concern.
I've happily shopped there for over a decade.

OP posts:
Pearshapedpear · 14/07/2025 21:14

ButteredRadish · 14/07/2025 19:37

You sound very paranoid OP. Do you suffer from Anxiety? Sometimes it can feel like you’re being followed when someone is shopping at the same speed as you and you cross paths on each aisle but honestly, it’s just that you’re shopping at the same speed!
I’m not sure what exactly you expect the supermarket to do!? I can assure you they will not be “investigating” anything as that’s pretty much impossible as,

  1. They have no idea who you are on CCTV as they only have your name from your email
  2. They have no idea which customer he is even if they find him on CCTV
  3. They can’t involve police as no crime has been committed.
So what sort of “investigation” they’re going to perform is a mystery to me.

Rather a misogynistic attitude @ButteredRadish why do you feel the need to minimise the OP’s experience and revert to that old trope of ‘anxiety’.

Original poster
Heylittlesongbird · 14/07/2025 21:15

User9784754 · 14/07/2025 20:34

The most obvious answer is usually correct. Just a creepy fucking man. A lot of stalkers and criminals start off by doing socially weird things like following women around, staring at them, making them feel uncomfortable etc. They get a kick out of having power over a stranger by doing things that can't be directly proven as illegal.

Some might do this for years before actually committing a serious crime. Pretty sure it's much more common that many assume. Most women have had at least one encounter in their life with a very creepy male. There was a viral Tiktok going around recently of a weird-looking young man who walked up to a group of girls in a park (think it was Regents Park) and just stared at them. He refused to go even when directly asked to leave, being told he was a creep and after a girl starting filming him as evidence.

Loads of men are just gross and creepy. The only upside is if you encounter them as strangers and they have no way of terrorising you further. To be honest, nothing you do can prevent it happening again. Even if they get banned from one supermarket, they will just find another location with other victims.

Thank you. In retrospect I think it's exactly this.

I think I will reply to the store and say that if anything else happens and they need me to corroborate what I said then please get in touch and that if there is anything they are able to tell me I would be pleased to get an update.

OP posts:
Original poster
Heylittlesongbird · 14/07/2025 21:20

Also now we are moving into school holidays my teen son has said he will be coming with me next time. I feel like the mum in Disobedience by AA Milne.

OP posts:
madaboutpurple · 14/07/2025 21:22

He might have been trying to steal your purse. I was given a neck wallet as a present and since then I have felt a lot safer.

HagHaggis · 14/07/2025 21:24

Don't be gaslit here OP. Read The Gift of Fear.

Definitely follow up. Even if the supermarket haven't done an investigation then you should make them squirm a bit and rethink their policy (if they even have one) for this type of scenario. Escalate it if you can. Make them think, it could make a difference.

Mmhmmn · 14/07/2025 21:26

I guarantee if that happened about 10 times that part of that will have been caught on CCTV. Cams are everywhere in supermarkets now. You can ask for an update if you want. They may or may not have one for you.