When did you really feel like an adult?

[TheRedGoose]

For me it was when I learned as a teenager and young adult to stay away from people and situations that cause constant drama. I see it on here all the time with people talking about new partners or friends who bring a heap of trouble with them. It made me feel like I had truly grown up when I was able to identify this and just go no way do I want to be part of this.

What about you?

Never. I'm 61 and still a child.

Having children
turning 40, love the feeling even more in my mid 40s

When I had to advocate for child's healthcare needs rather than allow us to be batted away by the system.

It did not come naturally so it was a very conscious moment of taking responsibility for my actions (and the outcomes) on behalf of a dependent, which is what feels like adulthood to me.

I found it good practice for making decisions that worked for my (immediate) family but which I would have previously found intolerable due to people pleasing and wanting to fit in with minimal fuss. It's still not easy, but I know I'm the grown up now, for better or worse.

Also agree with PP that organising a funeral will do it!

This is so true!!!

When I became a licensee for the first time at 24. My first job after university was as a graduate trainee for a big corporate in the hospitality industry. After a couple of years getting hands-on experience I was appointed as relief manger of a hotel, which obviously required me to hold a license for the sale of alcohol. In those days you had to appear in court in person to be granted the license, and when the magistrate did so I definitely felt like a grown up.

I don't think I've reached that stage yet, despite having two practically grown up children and a house, job, lots of bills and having to make constant 'adult' decisions. My mind hasn't really caught up with the fact that I am older than 50!

I remember clearly! I was 28 and on my first Guide camp as a leader. One of the girls was homesick in the middle of the night and wanted to go home. Long story short: I made it better pretty much just by existing. I couldn't believe it. I honestly felt like there was nothing I couldn't do after that 😂

When the funeral car arrived for my dad’s funeral and I had to open the door to the funeral director as I realised no one else to do it (my dad did for my mums funeral)

I’ve felt like an adult all of my life.

When my mum died and I had to plan her funeral. I'm 34

When my mum got dementia and my dad became her carer. Suddenly I have small children and elderly parents to think about and only my husband/friends to depend on

I’m almost 48 and spend all my time feeling like a total adult fraud. 5 mins at home with my parents and I regress to 15.

I always look for a proper adult at work
etc which is challenging when you are senior. I’m at a loss as to how to change it. I always assumed it would just happen one day.

I was away by myself the other weekend and spent most of the time feeling like I’d get told off any moment. Not sure who by!

Aging myself somewhat but it was when my name was published in the phonebook.

I’m pushing 50, have a family and a “big” job. Am still occasionally amazed I’m allowed to live without adult supervision 🤣🤣

43, own house and car, and have a cat. Been a nurse for 21 years. Still waiting. Wearing a t shirt today? That says. ‘Being a fully functioning adult every day seems excessive’

I’m 42 and nowhere near yet. I mostly feel like a scared 22 year old, except at work where I appear to be extremely competent but have imposter syndrome.

I think for me when my generation became the Christmas hosts. And the gatherings and so on. When it was our children’s bds to get get the grandparents along to and that sort of thing.

I also bought my flat quite early and emigrated for a bit. I think I I was early 30s and buying my third washing machine and a lot of friends were in rented shared houses still and had never bought a washing machine. 😜

when my friend asked me how I did it, and when I asked her what she meant she said “you have all your shit together like a proper grown up, not like me!” which I thought was hilarious since I’d been thinking the same about her! That’s when I realised that all those proper grown ups were really just winging it and had simply perfected the art of looking like a proper grown up.
I could say I felt like an adult at 18 when my dad died and I had to hold it all together for DM and DB, or the countless other losses I’ve been through, but I think that feeling like an adult is something that comes and goes. Some days I do and others I really don’t feel I should even be in charge of anything sharp and pointy!

I had to order fence panels last week. I’ve been putting it off for about three years. The old ones are rotting. And I couldn't put it off any longer.
kids dad use to do all the practical things around the house. I asked my dad three years ago if he would help just to make sure I got it right. He got very ill and died. I then asked my brother. He was busy with other stuff
so I got on with it. And my eldest child and I fitted them.
that is adulting at its finest.

I’m still waiting at 43. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m in my 40s and married with two kids. I’m surely not sensible enough?!

When DH and I emerged from a financial adviser's office after discussing our investments and plans to buy a house overseas, we looked at each other and said, "Are we grown-ups now?" We were late 30s/early 40s and had been married with a mortgage for 15 years already.

Within two weeks he was dead and I was left to bring up two small children by myself. That definitely felt quite grown-up.

And I think most people feel like adults by the point at which they have to take on the parenting role for their elderly parents rather than the other way round.

I still don’t feel like an adult, I’m the most experienced parent in my friendship group so often get asked stuff, which I find bonkers, I still phone my mum 4-5 times a week to ask stupid questions.

When I had to buy an ironing board and nearly fainted at the price 😟

I suppose just generally when I realised that when things go wrong, the "adults in the room" looked to me for help and that, secondly, that was probably the right call.

That doesn't mean I know everything, or that I'm always right. It's just that... nobody's coming. We're already here. It's us. We are the adults.

I still look for a more adult adult
when my mum died my dad couldn’t face being there and I was very much “but I’M the child” and it felt very.. wrong to be alone with her when she died
I had to ask for the chaplain, tell the nurse she had gone, ring my dad.. I just wanted an adult there