Why am I struggling to declutter?

[Welikebeingcosy]

Before I had DD I was always really.good at decluttering. I'd go through it all, bag it all up, and take it to the charity shop, or recycling etc. I'd moved house a lot as a student and even went backpacking and got all my possessions down to a rucksack full at one point.

Now in my mind thirties and I've had my own place for five and a half years and never been able to keep on top of the decluttering and I've no idea why!

I'll do a huge declutter and bag everything up and it will just sit there. I even moved bags from my last place out of the attic and to the shed in the new place. İnstead of just taking it to the charity shop.

This is the cycle my mind goes through 'okay I'm going to declutter. Okay I shouldn't donate that because it cost money, I've hardly used it/DD has hardly played with it and I could get a tenner/fiver for it' and the pile just grows.

I'm not short of cash, but I do have some 0 percent finance debts which I would like to pay off. However, I always think to myself 'i could probably earn a bit more with my time than what I'd earn putting all this on ebay'.

A lot of it is clothes where my weight has fluctuated and don't fit, nicer toddler clothes, toys, a few electronics, or things I've ordered which weren't the right thing that I didn't have the time to wrap and re post or the postage wasn't worth the effort. There's about four or five large boxes worthy. Why can't I just give it all away and let it go?? İt's all things from since I got my own social housing place after some turbulent years.

True, but I imagined that the OP would have been aware of that.

Thrift+ send you a bag for (certain brands) clothes and will sell them for you and keep some of profits

oxfam will send you a bag to donate your clutter (someone else’s treasure) and all proceeds go to amazing causes.

these are pretty hassle free options imho

My story is so similar. I did the same and included in the box were knitted items from my Gran. Gran died and now I’m a hoarder. I used to be the opposite. Don’t know how to get back to my old self.

This makes so much sense. Don’t be so hard on yourself though, you did the best you could with the information you had at the time. Not everyone was having parties over the fence, I think a lot of people have bad memories of that time.

I don’t know how to cure our issue but it’s a great first step that you’ve figured out the root cause. I’ll be following your thread with interest.

Decluttering is a process and it takes time over time. I try to think of it as keeping the things that are meaningful and getting rid of the noise. But I know it's hard especially when you are doing it alone.

I get anxious with too much stuff but despite moving 4 times in 3 years I've still got too much.

I give a lot away via our local FB page, take stuff to charity and we have a skip (as we are currently renovating). I used to sell on eBay but now it's not worth it.

The key is getting it out of your house. The money is already spent and you are just warehousing.

I do understand op. But you've done a great job keeping your little one alive through a global pandemic. That's enough. There was so much pressure to do all sorts of things during it but we forget that for many it was the most stressful time we may ever have.

will send you a bag to donate your clutter (someone else’s treasure) and all proceeds go to amazing causes.
Some of it will, but the charities need money for just running the charity.
It's good, but not amazing.

Or having boxes and boxes of the stuff to get rid of and no car?
It's easier to take a few things regularly than a large amount all at once. Easier for the shop too.

I've just been re-reading Peter Walsh's "It's all too much", which I do occasionally to keep my decluttering inspiration going.
(Peter Walsh was around before Marie Kondo, and has a similar message but without the woo elements).
One of his key messages is to ask yourself what you want to get out of a space. To really stop and think about what you want from your home/your life/ your rooms/your spaces. Then identify what things are standing in the way of that, and then systematically remove them.
It doesn't have to be all at once, as Kondo claims, just work at it with the time and energy constraints you have.
As to why, it sounds like you were pretty overwhelmed, what with a small child, Covid lockdown, etc. That's fair enough, and IMO can take quite some time to get over.

Ann Maurice House Doctor was more about house staging.

It's All Too Much: An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff: Amazon.co.uk: Walsh, Peter: 9780743292658: Books

I seen to have hit a brick wall.

Yesterday I managed to clear out the shed and made that feel much nicer and get an empty garden sorted. I've got a few boxes by the door ready for anglo Collections and will take some to the charity if I get a chance before then. I've got one box in the living room for eBay which will go to anglo if I don't end up ebaying. I've also got three sacks full of rags which I'm going to pick out a bit with take with me tomorrow to the charity when I'm in town. I'll do a little bit each time I head into town until it's gone.

DD chose ten soft toys to get rid of in return for a dolls nappy changing bag she wanted. I need to put them through the washing machine before they can go to charity and I've got a build up of laundry to do first. İt's such a lovely day I ought to just get on with it but I've only managed one load. This morning I got on top of re-tidying the kitchen, as decluttering always seems to make a mess.

I also need to tidy up the living room. İf I just do these jobs then I can move onto decluttering the other rooms.

Sounds like you've done amazing so far. That's a great start.

decided to do some more today- have just chucked out a laundry basket as i had two and one was just holding stuff i don't wear which needed washing for charity- i'm determined to get through all the laundry which has been building up, and clear it once and for all. i'm slowed down because my tumble dryer broke and i haven't replaced it as the only space for it is on the third floor and i'm worried no-one will deliver one up two flights of stairs.....however i actually need to clear the second set of stairs of stuff before any of this can be sorted..

i don't think i realised how much i was actually holding onto, or putting off sorting out.

this weekend my daughter is going to my mum's....i've got 2 driving lessons and a physio appointment and then i'm going to deeply tackle it all in between- only things which bring me joy are staying.

sounds like you're making great progress and you've done way more than me. tbh though ive not had much time but did sell a box set of books that I'd been holding onto, so they're gone and made a bit of cash.
Still a very long way to go though to get my house sorted and my garden sheds aswell.

thank you @whatrthechances and well done for selling your books.

i've completely given up on trying to sell anything. i listed two items on marketplace and no-one has messaged me and i realised i don't want to spend time on it anymore, i just want to do things which spark joy in me.

i keep losing motivation but determined to hold onto it as much as possible today.

hold onto my motivation- not the clutter

Yes im the same with the motivation and I like your quote, hold on to the motivation not the clutter. need to follow that mantra myself. Its mainly anxiety that prevents me from parting with things and having a huge declutter, I really struggle letting go of things and I know its stupid. ive become a bit of a hoarder as a result. I hate the clutter in my house though. my bedroom is especially bad I'd love to be able to just get rid of stuff without a second thought and it not triggering anxiety.
I'm embarrassed about the upstairs in my home.

Take a bag every tike you go out, drop it at a charity shop or even easier one of those clothing bins in supermarket car parks.

We can do this!

I got a skip and chucked it in.. saves all the faffing about

I don't have a car and all the charity shops are in the town centre, which I never go to, and I do my big shops online (although I've been buying a lot from overpriced local co-op recently with the mental load of it all). I've booked an anglo collection though for in just under a week, and all the rag bags I've got, I'll do a few trips to whichever charity shop takes rags, when the rest is gone.

I don't really believe in sending stuff to landfill unless really necessary.

Get Redonate to collect it and support a charity at the same time!

I've just managed to excavate a load of stuff from dd's room, which felt like a huge mission, and now i need to bag it all up and find a corner for it, before the anglo collection. third or forth load of washing is on, and it's starting to feel like an episode of sort your life out now, as determined to do the whole lot in the next few days 😂 i'll share pics of the after and the bags ready to go when it's done.

But you can carry a carrier bag one small bag whenever you go out would clear it all quickly.

i just said i don't pass any charity shops. it would be an extra trip into town where i never go to.

I know I'd feel loads better about my home if I could just do it and get rid of stuff. I'd love to redecorate my bedroom and get new curtains and bedding etc but its just so overwhelming for me that I just shut the door and leave it each day. I am single so do not share my room with anyone so its easy for me to get away with it being such a cluttered mess.
I always think, Imagine if I met a new partner I could never have them round and especially not in my bedroom! Or if i took ill in bed and paramedics had to come into my room id be so ashamed. Something does need to change.