Why am I struggling to declutter?

[Welikebeingcosy]

Before I had DD I was always really.good at decluttering. I'd go through it all, bag it all up, and take it to the charity shop, or recycling etc. I'd moved house a lot as a student and even went backpacking and got all my possessions down to a rucksack full at one point.

Now in my mind thirties and I've had my own place for five and a half years and never been able to keep on top of the decluttering and I've no idea why!

I'll do a huge declutter and bag everything up and it will just sit there. I even moved bags from my last place out of the attic and to the shed in the new place. İnstead of just taking it to the charity shop.

This is the cycle my mind goes through 'okay I'm going to declutter. Okay I shouldn't donate that because it cost money, I've hardly used it/DD has hardly played with it and I could get a tenner/fiver for it' and the pile just grows.

I'm not short of cash, but I do have some 0 percent finance debts which I would like to pay off. However, I always think to myself 'i could probably earn a bit more with my time than what I'd earn putting all this on ebay'.

A lot of it is clothes where my weight has fluctuated and don't fit, nicer toddler clothes, toys, a few electronics, or things I've ordered which weren't the right thing that I didn't have the time to wrap and re post or the postage wasn't worth the effort. There's about four or five large boxes worthy. Why can't I just give it all away and let it go?? İt's all things from since I got my own social housing place after some turbulent years.

Sorry for the lazy. I was channelling what I imagined your negative self-talk might be. Not my opinion of you. It's not up to randoms on the internet like me to pull you down.

Thank you! You're right, I need to just be more selective going forwards with what me and dd buy. I'm going to start regifting unwanted gifts too, because they'll never make it onto eBay.

Awww it's okay, your whole post was so positive and helpful though.

I am a bit like this but I try to think that I'm doing good and helping someone else by donating it.
I've never sold on vinted etc or earned any money by car booting so I always take to the charity shop.

The idea of selling is tempting, but it stops you moving forward.

I find the only way things leave the house is if I physically take them out to the charity shop or one of those charity clothes bins they have at some supermarkets. I had a great clear out at the weekend, and sure I could have sold some of the clothes but life is very busy for me for various reasons so the money is worth less than the extra stress and time.

It does feel great when I have done it. Start with something easy like a sock drawer.

I've just managed to put three large garden toys out the front as freebies and posted them on a local free site. I could have got a tenner or so for each, but they all needed a hose done and I realised when chucking them out, it's so much more productive overall to just get rid. I keep telling myself get rid of it then you can set up a million dollar business instead 🤣

So now I'm going through all the bags of stuff I'd thrown in the shed for charity shop and trying to get it all into cleaner and nicer bags for Anglo Collections., as it was all growing cobwebs. I've pulled out one coat to sell, but if I haven't listed it by 23rd July I'll add it to the bags. I've got three bags of rags to take to charity but if I don't take them, I'll chuck them.

When I am trying to get myself into the right mood I play the hoarders show in the background. I dont know exactly why but it really helps me focus into a giving things away mindset. Seeing the piles of things really focuses me.

Well done OP!

Ooh yeah I find declutter YouTube videos too...I need to find one where they actually take it all to charity now 🤣

Thanks for all your comments btw...I've read them all and they are all very insightful and helpful.

I've just noticed that most of the stuff I'm struggling to let go of, is things I bought or was given during the lockdown. Maybe I'm struggling to let go of feeling like the restrictions are still on me.

Read Marie Kondo, she is wonderful. She really understands the emotional side of holding onto things. You can thank them and let them go!

Just went to see if I could find a Marie kondo exert and found this
..it just says it all doesn't it 🤣🤣

bahaha, hilarious 😂😂

Yay, well done! Great mindset. Off the back of this thread I finally purged my wardrobe this evening! Have been putting off doing it for about a year...only took an hour. SO NICE to be able to see everything. You are right in that trying to sell everything only holds you back from actually starting the job as it seems an insurmountable task

I meant read the book, not Google her and click on the first link.

I’m slowly working through selling and donating stuff. I’m doing it as I go along so if I spot an item of clothing I don’t wear it goes on eBay or in the charity bag.

I am being very strict about not buying pretty much anything. If I do buy it’s a well thought out purchase and quality over quantity. It is helping.

It’s not easy but I’m slowly making progress. I pat myself on the back a lot for my little successes!

Home – KonMari | The Official Website of Marie Kondo

Oh wow go you! Well I'm glad at least one person has found momentum from my stagnation 🤣

My shed is now nice and clear and tidy, and my garden is empty, but all the charity stuff that was in the shed is now in my hallway...at least it's closer out the front door now.

I'm hoping to find a bit more momentum to bag it all up so I can't touch it and just take it to the charity tomorrow or sat.

I know, I just thought it was ironic that I used to live my life Marie kondo style and now she's mirroring my untidy parenting home.

I struggle with this too; I feel guilty not trying to recoup costs but don't really have the time, energy or willpower to sell it.
Now when my brain says "you could get £5 for that", I try & actively think "I'm donating £5 (x however many items) to charity".
It helps me focus on the potential good rather than the potential money back.

You're totally right about the constant background noise. I think it will be lovely when it's all done. There's so many other things I'd love to do rather than think about potentially ebaying stuff...I've just gone through the thought pattern again of thinking 'maybe I should try and eBay more of it' but that's something I need to break!

Or having boxes and boxes of the stuff to get rid of and no car?

As well as donating to charity shops I also buy from charity shops, less than I take in but a few things here and there. It's lovely to pick up a good quality bargain.
Charity shops benefit from good donations so try to pack up and drop off your items with the positivity you'll pass on in mind. Donating can then feel like helping your wellbeing.

I think I've figured out the reason for holding onto stuff.

İt's mostly pandemic stuff and I think it's guilt from not making the most of life with DD during that period. Everyone else was having BBQs, doing DIY, starting projects, learning languages and having parties over the fences with neighbours, and I was stuck with nowhere to take DD as she was ten months when it first started and even the playgrounds were locked up where I lived.

I think it's like guilt to let go of things I haven't really used because I feel guilty about not making the most of that time and enjoying and playing with DD but I literally lost all my outlets and momentum from not being able to create a routine with her and went stir crazy at home and couldn't appreciate the time at home with her properly, like I would if I could have broken up the day a bit.

I know, I just thought it was ironic that I used to live my life Marie kondo style and now she's mirroring my untidy parenting home.
She isn't. Her home is immaculate but not to her standards.