What are you guys doing with food and groceries

[Stonebag]

I find that the cost of groceries has really jumped and climbed and can be expensive.

I am buying much less for more it seems. Also stuff like chocolates, sweets and other snacks has reduced a lot.

I did a grocery shop last weekend. This morning I had to go to the local shop to get something for lunch.

My mother is now badgering me to book another grocery shop and I am not too keen about that because we only got a shop on Sunday and tomorrow is Friday and she wants another shop.

I just think groceries has gone up so much and I am not overly keen on doing more shopping and getting my bank account hammered and at this stage if my mother is looking for more groceries maybe shop locally and just do one big grocery shop a week.

How are you all managing with grocery shopping?

Could she open a bank account at somewhere like the Nationwide that still seems to be fairly user friendly to those that don't use the internet and then she could maybe go into branch and transfer you the money somehow.

You don't need a lie, or an excuse. You just need to say no. You're the one on control of this because you're the only one who can work internet shopping or who then has the means to pay for it.
'No, I'm ordering on (whichever days works for you)'.
It'll feel uncomfortable if you aren't used to it but nothing changes if nothing changes.

Tell your mum and family to put the money into your account before you do the shopping, and let them know you dont have the money to pay for it.

Or have your mum set up a joint account for you and her and put money in it so that you can get the shopping out of it.

You seem to have several issues you’re trying to control by having one online shop a week. It may work, but if cost is an issue you are likely getting things cheaper from your big store than going to a local sop so it might not be the best way.

You could tell people (your mum and the others staying in your house) that you need the money for any shopping they want to add to the online shop up front. That way your bank account taking a temporary hit for everyone else (though appreciated your mum giving cash is an issue I think that’s probably a complex issue that may never get fixed if she’s held out this long).

You can also ask for a set amount to cover the communal supplies that you currently seem to be paying for by yourself.

And you can tell people you’re only going to order online when you need to do a shop (and make it every Saturday or whatever if you want to). If they want to do another order at some point they can do it themselves.

This relies on these being reasonable boundaries. If your mum is to frail to get to the store and carry back a big jug of milk and can’t order online, it’s not that reasonable to tell her she has to sort herself out if she needs it before your next online shop.

Or, if you really aren’t going to change anything, it’s fine to just rant. Sometimes we just need a safety valve when dealing with looking after people who can’t help themselves too well.

“Mum whilst we are at the post office getting your pension, if you give me your share of the food shop and I’ll deposit it straight into my account”

Also you need to agree a budget, tell her it’s a struggle and your only going to spend X amount on food shopping then go halves

Money up front so you can see what the budget is.

I can’t work out whether you are a teen living with your mum or if your mum is older and you are caring for her? Doesn’t really make a difference but it seems like a strange dynamic.

Who else is living there?

@Stonebag would your mother accept you calling the post office and seeing if they can get a debit card linked to her post office account or change the type of account so she can have a debit card, she won't need to do online banking or work out online shopping if you are happy to do the online shop and use her bank card details to pay rather than getting money back in cash.

I’m not sure about the whole mother situation but things like Linwood’s are good to buy online at Holland and Barrett when they have discount codes and buy one get one free/ half price deals.

Do separate shops for you and your mum. That way you can give her the bill for exactly what she has ordered and you will not be left paying for things that you don't want.

I find that people pipe down a lot faster when they actually have to physically go and spend their money or place their orders instead of just yapping about what they want you to get.

Be firm, say no, let them cry about it.

I mainly do a weekly online shop so I don’t randomly buy shit that takes my fancy instore

I've cut out meat, fruit and veg and now I'm just down to wine and crisps. The crisps will probably have to go soon the way things are going...🤣

If you have previous receipts why don't you show them to her so she can see how much is being spent?
Or ask everyone to put in so much per week and use that for the groceries.. You really can't be expected to pay for everything.

I'm irritated at hearing your situation op. You must be grinding your teeth

We do one online weekly shop that comes on a Monday with the staples, go to the butchers at the weekend to get meat for the week and then do top up shops throughout the week when we need things to go with dinners.
Are you all meal planning together? We don’t meal plan at all hence the extra trips to the shops but if you could all meal plan together it might negate the need for additional shops.

Are you paying for groceries in lieu of rent and your half of bills? If so, you need to budget for a decent amount. However, I understand that it's difficult to manage different amounts coming out at different times, so you really need to agree a set amount. £200 a week doesn't seem unreasonable if that's your sole financial contribution to the household (although that seems a lot to spend on groceries for 2 people).

I think you’d be better taking her into an actual supermarket with her pension cash and letting her do her own shopping and pay at the till. Online shopping really isn’t helping your situation.

How people with big families manage I don’t know. Even things like baked beans, bread and so on has gone up , it’s every week. The days of the ‘ bogof’ deals have long gone, it’s now three for 12 pounds and mince is really pricy now.