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Original poster

What are you guys doing with food and groceries

68 replies

Stonebag · 10/07/2025 12:55

I find that the cost of groceries has really jumped and climbed and can be expensive.

I am buying much less for more it seems. Also stuff like chocolates, sweets and other snacks has reduced a lot.

I did a grocery shop last weekend. This morning I had to go to the local shop to get something for lunch.

My mother is now badgering me to book another grocery shop and I am not too keen about that because we only got a shop on Sunday and tomorrow is Friday and she wants another shop.

I just think groceries has gone up so much and I am not overly keen on doing more shopping and getting my bank account hammered and at this stage if my mother is looking for more groceries maybe shop locally and just do one big grocery shop a week.

How are you all managing with grocery shopping?

OP posts:
Stripeyanddotty · 10/07/2025 17:54

Can you just refuse?

Original poster
Stonebag · 10/07/2025 17:54

She likes Linwoods and sometimes if that's on offer she will want me to get 2 or 3 of them and that's often 4 or 5 or 6 pounds depending on the size of the bag and the offer. That's nearly 20 quid just on one item. She usually does pay me back in cash however it's my bank account that is taking a hit.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stonebag · 10/07/2025 17:57

Stripeyanddotty · 10/07/2025 17:54

Can you just refuse?

I find she's impossible to reason with and I find myself lying more and more.

She got me to book earlier for tomorrow and to be honest I am not overly keen.

I am brainstorming on a lie on what I could say about cancelling an appointment.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stonebag · 10/07/2025 17:57

When my mother wants mild she will want at least 7 or 8 litres and she just has no switch off point.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stonebag · 10/07/2025 18:01

I wouldn't mind if she was just a little bit more respectful of me and my account. I am not a ceo of a massive company earning thousands every week. I just can't afford a large shop more than once a week. Even if I am getting paid in cash after wards.

The issue is that my mother has no switch off point either 7 or 8 milk, 3 or 4 cereals, 2 or 3 Linwoods - all of this just adds up and up and up. Then the hosts also like adding in their stuff like bottles of wine.

OP posts:
Minecroft · 10/07/2025 18:15

Stonebag · 10/07/2025 17:51

Yes I live with her. She gets me to get online groceries and pay for them out of my account because she is not able to use the internet or doesn't have a card. She usually does pay me back in cash but sometimes I have to wait a few days. However it's still my bank account taking a hit. I am not a huge fan of cash and it's better in my account than in cash.

Also we have family from abroad living at home now too for now and they are adding a list onto this and it's all just adding up and up and up and up.

I spend over 200 pounds on last sunday (6th July) a shop for all of us. One couple paid me back 50 pounds and my mother paid me 45 pounds. The rest was just household stuff that I was expected to get.

This is just too much.

I can't be spending this kind of money twice a week.

I think it would be better if we do one big shop a week and anything else - they get it until the next shop. I can't be going in like this every 4/5 days spending chunks of hundreds out of account on feeding the family that are not babies or my own.

It would work better for me if people, if they need stuff, from the shop and to spend their own money.

I also find a particular behaviour from my mother - is there's something on offer she will want me to add 2 or 3 of them stocking up for a few weeks.

There is food in the fridge and press. It is getting low but because we have a heatwave they want more and they don't want to go to the shop.

Get her to write you a cheque and pay it into your account using your banking app

TaupeMember · 10/07/2025 18:17

Caramelty · 10/07/2025 13:06

We are signed up for the Tesco 10% off scheme where you pay a subscription (loyalty) fee to get 10% off your in-store shop twice a month. With Tesco Clubcard offers too, I usually do two massive shops per month in store and save £40 to £50 on the discounts each time. For people who are loyal to Tesco this scheme is really worthwhile.

In between weeks, I do a smaller weekly shop for fresh food at Lidl or Tesco, and we top up fresh fruit and bread once a week also (and any yellow stickered items).

To manage costs, we eat some cheaper homemade meals like chickpea curry or tomatoey pasta, and that frees up cash for treats. We try to buy fruit not biscuits! It’s expensive but obviously healthier

Can you explain how you get that much off each shop? When we tried it the maximum spend was £200 with 10% off, which gave a max of £20 discount each time

Original poster
Stonebag · 10/07/2025 18:18

Minecroft · 10/07/2025 18:15

Get her to write you a cheque and pay it into your account using your banking app

Show quote history

She doesn't have a bank account or a cheque book.

OP posts:
aGirlLikeJesamine · 10/07/2025 18:23

can you physically go shopping with her cash, or any cash
i find using cash a better way of reducing your spend

CoffeeBeansGalore · 10/07/2025 18:26

If your lodging family want wine & treats they can go & get it & pay themselves. In fact why not suggest that at least twice a month they go and get the full grocery shop for everyone & pay for it as a contribution to the household?

RaininSummer · 10/07/2025 18:27

I have no idea what Linwoods or Mild us but obviously you can't spend that much every week. What do you guys eat? I send about 80 a week for two of us and some dog bits with a top up big Tesco every 6 weeks or so. You need to meal plan and eat cheaper meals. When I run out of things towards end of weekwe gave pasta, beans on toast, jacket spuds etc.

Original poster
Stonebag · 10/07/2025 18:32

RaininSummer · 10/07/2025 18:27

I have no idea what Linwoods or Mild us but obviously you can't spend that much every week. What do you guys eat? I send about 80 a week for two of us and some dog bits with a top up big Tesco every 6 weeks or so. You need to meal plan and eat cheaper meals. When I run out of things towards end of weekwe gave pasta, beans on toast, jacket spuds etc.

Linwoods is a brand of flaxseeds. She is obsessed with them. She will never ever get own brand.

Sorry, 'mild' is supposed to be milk.

OP posts:
LittlleMy · 10/07/2025 18:34

Stonebag · 10/07/2025 18:18

She doesn't have a bank account or a cheque book.

Show quote history

Would you be able to make one for her @Stonebag? If (with your help) she could be persuaded to do so then it would be so easy via an app to just transfer the money immediately to you.

It’s obviously stressing you out as you keep posting here because I imagine you’re not heard at home. And I can empathise it must be so very frustrating to have to keep going through this with no end in sight. I hope you can find a resolution x

Original poster
Stonebag · 10/07/2025 18:34

RaininSummer · 10/07/2025 18:27

I have no idea what Linwoods or Mild us but obviously you can't spend that much every week. What do you guys eat? I send about 80 a week for two of us and some dog bits with a top up big Tesco every 6 weeks or so. You need to meal plan and eat cheaper meals. When I run out of things towards end of weekwe gave pasta, beans on toast, jacket spuds etc.

This is what I do. I buy Tesco own brand long life milk and I find it helps so much and my weeks groceries do last me a week usually.

OP posts:
CarpetKnees · 10/07/2025 18:37

Stonebag · 10/07/2025 18:18

She doesn't have a bank account or a cheque book.

Show quote history

How can anyone not have a bank account ?

If she is employed, she needs one for wages to be paid in to.
If she is on benefits she needs one for them to be paid into.
If she is a pensioner she needs on for her pension to be paid in to.

Original poster
Stonebag · 10/07/2025 18:40

CarpetKnees · 10/07/2025 18:37

How can anyone not have a bank account ?

If she is employed, she needs one for wages to be paid in to.
If she is on benefits she needs one for them to be paid into.
If she is a pensioner she needs on for her pension to be paid in to.

Show quote history

It's something left rover from a long time ago. She refused to move with the times. She really doesn't have a bank account and her pension is paid at the local post office and paid out in cash. I swear to god.

OP posts:
maslinpan · 10/07/2025 18:41

Who are the other family members staying with you? Do they have access to transport and money so they could go and do a grocery shop? Why are you shouldering the worry, expense and planning for everyone else?

Original poster
Stonebag · 10/07/2025 18:42

Today's request to get another food shop, I just feel sick about it. It's just going to be another chunk of money out of my bank account before the weekend will even start.

I think out guests have plans and they likely won't even be at home for the weekend. Except for breakfasts.

I really want to become firm and just say one big shop a week and no more. Anyone else can go to the shop they want more.

OP posts:
ruralmural · 10/07/2025 18:45

help Her open a bank account online - you need a long term solution.

Original poster
Stonebag · 10/07/2025 18:45

maslinpan · 10/07/2025 18:41

Who are the other family members staying with you? Do they have access to transport and money so they could go and do a grocery shop? Why are you shouldering the worry, expense and planning for everyone else?

They do have access to transport and money for a shop and as far as I know they will be busy tomorrow and they likely won't even be at home much over the weekend. They will likely go out for dinner or so something.

I just think a shop right now is just going to do nothing but make my make account smaller where I will likely have to do it all over again come Monday or Tuesday.

I think at this stage a mini shop locally with their own money would be more suitable and leave me alone.

OP posts:
ruralmural · 10/07/2025 18:46

What would happen if you moved out?

MonGrainDeSel · 10/07/2025 18:46

Just say no! Do your shop once a week and if your mum wants another tell her you can't afford it and she can get her own stuff locally (or pay you up front, which isn't ideal and you'll have to go to the bank to pay the cash in, but at least you aren't paying for it).

Original poster
Stonebag · 10/07/2025 18:47

If I gi e in a do a shop now she will only want another shop again come Tuesday or Wednesday. Where as if she was to get small bits now I would be able to stretch a shop til Sunday or Monday. And then aim for the next weekend for another big shop.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stonebag · 10/07/2025 18:49

ruralmural · 10/07/2025 18:45

help Her open a bank account online - you need a long term solution.

She is computer and internet illiterate. Even if she had her own account she wouldn't be able to do anything online shop.

OP posts:
Juniperberry55 · 10/07/2025 18:52

@Stonebag surely the answer is to tell her she must open a bank account if he post office account does not have a bank card that can be used online and if she refuses then tell her she'll have to shop in store with cash herself. Offer to help her open an account if needs be. Then if she wants an extra online shop you can use her card
If you are living with her are you playing her anything towards bills? If you aren't contributing towards bills, then I would have thought you could afford to pay for shopping for the 2 of you, tell her a weekly amount you are happy to pay and tell her the shopping can't exceed that amount

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