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Original poster

Wedding day….good or bad memories?

31 replies

smileymylie25 · 09/07/2025 10:34

Just that really. When you think back on your wedding day was it what you thought it would be?

when I think back, as much as I love my husband I just wish we had never got married. I hated the day. I suffer with paranoia so being centre of attention was so daunting. I hated having to pose for photos (I didn’t even want a photographer and I still haven’t opened the email with our photos) it was such a hot day and I was so uncomfortable in my dress. I wish my memories were different but I just really didn’t enjoy the day and was glad when it was over. Of course I put on a brave face and no one knew how I was feeling but that made it even more exhausting 😴

OP posts:
pettingzoo · 09/07/2025 14:37

so sorry that yours wasn’t what you wanted it to be.

We loved ours. But we were young (21 years ago!) and in love and it was basically a big party with our mates in a place we were very excited to be. Wish we’d had a better photographer though. And the flowers were disappointing. But that’s not what matters really. I hardly ever look at the photos now and the flowers are long dead. But the marriage isn’t! And nearly all of the people at the wedding are still important people in my life (although of course some friends have drifted away and new ones have entered our lives). Happy memories also of family members and friends being there who’ve since died.

Noshadowsinthedark · 09/07/2025 14:38

Mine was no good, cringe at it now.

But it hasn’t stopped a great marriage afterwards.

Darby3785 · 09/07/2025 14:50

We had a very small initmate wedding

The only thing that brings bittersweet memories is my stepchildren were not allowed to come and my in laws didn't come either for religious reasons! Other than that it was a lovely day.

Interested in this thread?

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Weddings
CarolinaInTheMorning · 09/07/2025 14:53

I have good memories of mine. The best part was that my divorced parents behaved themselves and even chatted amicably at the reception.

Echobelly · 09/07/2025 14:57

Ours was a great day. There was a lot of anxiety running up to it - distant venue, weather could potentially affect how the day went a lot (Nb, the country wedding concept was DHs, not mine but I felt like he had a stronger idea of what he wanted), lots of coordination to be done, mainly by me.

People said the wedding was very 'us' , which is what we wanted, food was really good, I took advice to live in the moment (thank God this was just pre social media), our rock n roll 1st dance surprised everyone and it didn't matter that we were still rubbish at it despite lessons. Logistics all worked out, although dinner took a bit longer than expected so we only got about one hour of dancing before most people had to leave to get back to London, as it was a Sunday night. Tbh, most important thing to me, other than DH, obviously, was guests seemed to love it because I wanted them to have a good day that was worth the schlep.

mindutopia · 09/07/2025 15:46

I’m sorry your memories aren’t good ones. That must be really tough.

I have only positive memories of our wedding day. It was a good day. It was a lot of work though and a lot of stress putting it together (6 months to plan and I did most of it from the other side of the world as only moved to the UK a couple months before). It was enormously expensive for one day though. We are fortunate we didn’t pay for it ourselves as had parents who were in a position to (we’re also the only wedding of our generation for both our parents). If I’d had to pay for it, I may have felt differently as it’s silly money.

mondaytosunday · 09/07/2025 15:48

I wouldn’t say it was the happiest day in my life and there are things that went wrong but I dint think anyone else noticed, but they irk me still (23 years later). But it is a very stressful day and unless one is very chilled I imagine most look back with mixed feelings.

ohyesido · 09/07/2025 15:52

I loved my wedding day. I was so beautiful and gorgeous because I was lit up from inside.

we had the distinction of having the first wedding on June 21 2021 after the lockdown restrictions were lifted. 30 guests at twilight. We were supposed to get married on June 21 2020 but we had to put it off for a year. On my wedding day it rained and our wedding breakfast was a double quarter pounder with cheese with chips and a coke.

I doubt I’ll ever be as happy again

stayathomer · 09/07/2025 15:53

Overall I don’t actually feel either way- it definitely wasn’t the best day of my life, although I was happy to have married my dh and have friends around.

I worried about my dad too much as he was sick but was thrilled he got to be around his full family in a party setting, there was too much etiquette and ‘this must be done now’- basically being pulled away from people I wanted to see.

I’d say probably the people who do small small ceremonies probably have it right.

ohyesido · 09/07/2025 15:54

stayathomer · 09/07/2025 15:53

Overall I don’t actually feel either way- it definitely wasn’t the best day of my life, although I was happy to have married my dh and have friends around.

I worried about my dad too much as he was sick but was thrilled he got to be around his full family in a party setting, there was too much etiquette and ‘this must be done now’- basically being pulled away from people I wanted to see.

I’d say probably the people who do small small ceremonies probably have it right.

You can feel happy knowing that you made your dad happy. He will rest easy because of that

BadActingParsley · 09/07/2025 15:56

It wasn't the best day of my life - but we both really enjoyed it. It was fun getting people together, it was basically a big party and not that 'weddingey' if you know what I mean. It was pretty chilled, no great dramas - and people speak fondly of it. Food was good too...

I wish we'd put more money behind the bar and there were some people left off the invitation list who shouldn't have been (not for drama reasons just logistics really).

FrankTurnersCat · 09/07/2025 15:58

Ours was bloody brilliant. We wanted a fun, low key day (although we did have a church service) and it was just a big party. Even now, 11 years later friends still talk about it.
We are divorced now but the wedding day itself was super

Cattery · 09/07/2025 15:59

Ours was a great day. Small venue. Reception at a pub. Compulsory fight before the end. What’s not to love ❤️🤣

Seawolves · 09/07/2025 16:02

Bloody brilliant day, we got married just as lockdown restrictions were being lifted and we could have 30 people for the ceremony, then we all went to our local pub where they did us an excellent meal. People stayed overnight at a local hotel then met for breakfast before everyone headed home. It was a day I love to look back on even though we never got to celebrate our first anniversary terminal illness), I think it goes down as one of the best days in my life.

WilfredsPies · 09/07/2025 16:02

I absolutely loved ours. It was massive; we completely lost track of numbers because some of our guests invited guests of their own, and it really was a bit too hot, but it was one of the best days of my life.

Ponderingwindow · 09/07/2025 16:03

I loved our wedding. We planned a day that suited our personalities. It was a small event. We skipped the dancing portion because we both hate that part. We did a cocktail hour with our guests, did a ceremony, then went to an elegant dinner party. It just wasn’t a wedding in the same way people normally do them.

it helped that we were both a bit older and very stubborn. We knew what we wanted and we just did it. We made sure to be good hosts, but good hosts at an event that made us happy.

WilfredsPies · 09/07/2025 16:04

@Seawolves I’m so sorry for your loss but glad you have wonderful memories of your special day

DaisyChain505 · 09/07/2025 16:07

It might sound odd but I have such lovely memories of our day that it makes me upset to think about because I know it’s been and gone and we can’t relive it again!

JustAnInchident · 09/07/2025 16:07

Oh I loved ours, such happy memories. We spent a fair bit but it was so worth it. Big white wedding in our village church, marquee on our own land, lots of great food, absolutely massive (numbers spiralled a bit!) party in the evening with a band and a dj afterwards. I’d have chosen a different dress, or had a second dress for the evening, given my time again, as I was hot as fuck in the dress I chose, but it was so beautiful, I find it hard to mind.

minmooch · 09/07/2025 16:08

Happy memories from both wedding days even though neither marriage lasted!

RedRec · 09/07/2025 16:10

I got married on a cool sunny day in April 1997. Although happily divorced now, I remember my wedding day with great fondness and warmth. Had about 100 guests and all the people I loved were there. The main thing that sticks in my mind and that I am very grateful for was that some wise person said to me beforehand that I should pause for thought every now and again to appreciate all the moments, rather than let it go by in a blur. I consciously did that and it worked beautifully.

user1476613140 · 09/07/2025 16:11

Good memories. I didn't care that it wasn't perfect as I wanted the marriage more than my wedding day. Still happily married 18 years later.

Warmhandscoldheart · 09/07/2025 16:12

I have very fond memories of my first wedding day, everything was amazing. The atmosphere was lovely and relaxed, the guests seemed happy and enjoyed the occasion.

My second was very different. I wanted a small registry ceremony with our parents, my DC and his DD followed by a meal and a few drinks. Instead, the registry office was full. We had our reception in a local pub, half the guests disappeared to watch Sky Sports in the other bar. One guest was in tears because her husband, who she recently separated from, turned up with the other woman.
Bloody disastrous day

Goandygo · 09/07/2025 16:19

We enjoyed ours - 32 years ago today ❤️
It was very low key, as was my hen do. I just went for a drink with my MOH. Don't know why I didn't have a hen party.
We had a registry office. Our ds was 4 and my family Catholic but I wouldn't have wanted a church wedding anyway. I didn't even wear a dress - I wore a suit from Dorothy Perkins. And we had our 3 week honeymoon in Florida before the wedding so I had a lovely glow.
Safe to say we did everything backwards, but we're very happy.
Reception was in the local Catholic club - sausage rolls and dancing.
Brilliant.

RuthChrisSt · 09/07/2025 16:20

Probably one of the best days of my life! Wasn't 100% perfect, didn't need to be. I married my DH and we had a great party with our family and friends.