Have you read a thread and knew the person in real life?

[sheknowsitstoolate]

Have you ever clicked on a post and realised you knew who the person was? Did you say anything to them about it? I have read some and thought I could know the person but there was never been anything definitive to say it was 🫣

@ParmaVioletTea what do you mean a snarly email from mnhq about what?
Having two user names ?

In my case, there were some key components of the story that were spot on, even though the details around it were completely made up (to make it sound like she was in the right). A peek at her posting history made it clear it was her.

I was once DM'd by a woman who was convinced she knew me and told me that she knew my name was Paula Foster and that I lived at a particular address, which she gave in full. She was furious with me because she said I'd misunderstood the situation I described in my OP. She seemed to think that the woman I was having an issue with at work was her daughter. She gave her daughter's full name and the name of the company. None of it was accurate. She was completely wrong about all of it, but couldn't accept that she'd made a mistake.

It was a bit of a head fuck at the time because I've always changed lots of details when I post: age and sex and location if it doesn't matter, and I add in some made-up things too. Nothing that affects the crux of things, but so that if someone I know reads the post they'll think 'That sounds a bit like what happened to Jen' but nothing more.

I haven’t recognised anyone, but I did have someone message me, insisting that I knew them and asking who I was. I definitely didn’t know them, or recognise their situation, but I’d responded with some educated guesses (‘I wouldn’t be surprised if a, b and c’ etc) and this was enough to convince them I was someone they knew. I obviously confirmed I was a complete stranger, but I don’t think they believed me.

Nope, never.

what did you do? did you report her to MN for exposing private information, etc?

If someone was losing a debate on AIBU they would name change to create a 'sock puppet' which is basically you, but pretending to be a completely different person. So they'd come on to defend themselves in the debate but by pretending to be somebody else, so it looked as if they had more support on the thread than they did.

You can't do that any more, I suppose unless you have two separate accounts on separate devices. If I were to name change now, on this account, any posts on this thread would still appear under this user name. It's a much better system.

Yup. It was in relation to a question I was asking about a deletion of a post. The tone was quite snarky.

Thanks for all the explanarions about having several user names. I NC every 6 months or so, and I was starting to wonder if that was what was objected to.

Same, so I couldn’t be 100% sure if it definitely was that person or not.

On the flip side, I have seen posts that sound similar to me & my circumstances, but I haven’t posted them.

@ParmaVioletTea

I'm surprised at that tbh because this is supposed to be an anonymous site and unfortunately some posters do seem to be allowed to follow posters around ,track them down in real life ,link old threads and so on so the only way you can protect yourself is by name and detail changing a lot.

Which I do.

@fairydust11 absolutely esp the in law ones because most of the dynamics are the same between in law issues

I've read posts on here with details that have happened to me irl. The details are exactly the same, so it makes me think that someone is sharing my stories as their own (weird). Other people have probably read them on here thinking it was me thats posted them. I've never quite managed to figure out who it was.

I'm open about using mumsnet so I hope they know that I'm aware of my "stolen" stories.

I've also recognised loads of people. Even with details changed, it's very obvious with their posting styles and situations.

I’ve recognised a few people. One was because of her DD’s (very unusual) name so I did an advanced search and other details checked out.

Another was someone who posted regularly about a particular area, then I realised she lived on my road as she posted a picture of her living room, which was on Rightmove at the time!

The last one was someone I know from another (much smaller) forum as she clearly did a cut and paste job seeking advice for a particular issue she had.

I've recognised a few people over the years, mainly from other forums I've used as people's posting styles can be quite distinctive. Never seen anything particularly personal and I've got most of them on Facebook/Insta with their RL details so I doubt they care.

No but my employer recognised me once, I was posting about them as their behaviour was hideous and was looking for advice. They fired me after that. Not sure how they were so certain it was me, I still wonder if they had a way of finding where my post was located from or something as I didn’t give much away in terms of my identity in the actual post. Is that even possible? I had to name changed afterwards.

That’s just taken me right back. Who was that well-known blogger, English but living in Paris, who was fired for writing anonymously about her employer on her blog years ago? Petite Anglaise? I think she was compensated by a French industrial tribunal, but lost her anonymity, and wrote a memoir.

I’m often surprised when people ask for names to go with siblings Janet and John, especially if the sibling names are less common. I always think that’s very outing.

My b-I-l died suddenly a few years ago and I recognised a subsequent post by his DD, asking about rehoming some unusual pets. I didnt mention it to her, felt intrusive.

Not as such but a regular poster from (by her own admission) the same place as me piqued my curiosity and I was able to easily identify her name and therefore so many other details of her life. She gives far too much identifying info (including suggesting her husband’s unusual name on a baby name thread). She has said she’s recently been doxxed which is awful, but I’m not surprised.