I am so sick of my job. I hate it. HATE HATE HATE HATE it

[StonePaperScissors]

I work in a caring role in a private capacity for a family. Originally my hours were Monday to Friday and I was usually flexible with them. However over time they came to want more and more from me. Some of the incidents were unreal but I tolerated so much.

Tomorrow is Saturday and it was supposed to be a day off so I made plans months ago thinking it was a day off. I booked a hair appointment months ago for tomorrow.

There was a death in the family and they want me to become live in for the weekend to provide care. I told them that I have an appointment and I can't cancel now or I will still have e to pay for the service. I will have to work around the time.

However this isn't the first time that I had to give up my life to do this kind of work and to do more hours.

I am just so so so so so sick of this.

Normally I would be able to do this and it would be ok however I have my own family stuff going on and there are things that are not easily and I wanted was a bottle of wine. How hard is that?

I am just hating this so much. It's the first time I was expected just to press delete on my own plans just to accommodate them

I know there is exceptional circumstances this week however there has been other times and a lot of time it's accommodate the family who wants an extremely healthy social and recreational life away from their disabled family member.

I just hate this. Any other job and I would be allowed to clock out and have my own time. My time is hardly ever my own any more.

The past three weekends was all work too on top of Monday to Friday work. The only time I had a day off was when I was ill.

“they are wanting more and more and more of me. Even declining them and I get them sulking.”

Of course they’ll sulk, if it means they have to put themselves out. They can be as angry and sulking as they like, and you, OP, CAN SAY NO. I assume you have contracted hours - remind them of what they are. I do hope they’re paying you for the extra time you do - you should be getting at least minimum wage. You are a carer, not their slave. I’d most certainly be looking around for other work - carers are like gold dust, so they will be the losers when you find another position because they have been taking advantage. If you have agreed to go in this weekend, so be it, but you need to let them know that in future, you have your own family to consider, and if they need care at other times they will have to employ someone to cover for it, because you are unable to, and will not be able to do it. Rinse and repeat.

you need to ignore the sulking and say no and then put the phone down.

a friend of mine was doing the same job, caring for a disabled person, the family wanted her to take the girl out every single afternoon and evening, poor girl was never at home. My friend resigned but then passed the job on to another friend who is better at saying no, but even then the family pressurised her even contacted her when she was recovering from an operation. So you’re not alone OP but you do need to be firm.

People always need carers with experience and I would look for something else.

OP you need to think about your sphere of influence (look it up) it is a technique used to help with resilience. Usually it is learning about what things you have control over and letting go of things you don’t. It is also about thinking whether in a year or 2, the things you are worrying about now will matter

In your case you have absolute control over whether you do overtime or not. You can’t control their reactions (the sulking) but you can your reaction to the sulking eg ignore it.

They clearly need you so while they may sulk if you were to say I’m looking for another job I would bet you they’d shit themselves! They’re rely on the fact that you are a caring and empathetic person and are completely taking advantage.

If you carry on like this, you are going to suffer with your own mental and physical health. And if you get poorly you’ll not be able to manage your actual contracted hours, never mind any extra. And in a few years time it may very well have an impact you.

It may be difficult but for your sake you really need to start saying no.