How do you handle racists?

[WoodlandLove]

Up in the night with a very troubled conscience.
I'm a self-employed artist, but since Covid really, I've struggled to make a living, and have scraped by with temporary zero hours jobs and side hustles etc. I've got pretty rubbish mental health and struggle with many types of work, so was pleased to land some temporary casual work for summer on a nearby fruit farm - fruit picking, looking after PYO customers etc. A nice little gig for a few weeks in beautiful surroundings. Great I thought...
Buuut, turns out the farmer is a rabid racist! To my utter horror he actually used the n-word a couple of times 😧 I told him he shouldn't, and explained I was offended. To be fair he apologised. But, he seems to think white people can't be offended by racism. I think all decent people should be offended by it.
Additionally, he seems to think all Asian customers are trying to steal from him, and yesterday, as we were parting company, he made a vile 'joke' about how he'd like to go to Calais with his shotgun 🥺 I actually felt sick, and didn't know what to say. I've made no secret of my disapproval, but weirdly he seems to enjoy goading me and finds it funny. He's just an unsavoury human being honestly, and my heart sinks when I see him. Would you quit?
Seems obvious, but I'm as poor as a church mouse, live in an area of high unemployment, and need it to pay the rent. So ethically-driven quitting isn't always an option, unless you're very privileged. Only about four weeks to go, and wondering if I should just keep my head down and get on with the work, take the money and move on? Or, try again to speak to him? Or quit and face penury till another gig comes up? What would you do? I almost feel guilty working there. It's such a a shame, as it's a beautiful place, the work really suits me, and I get on well with the other workers. One is similarly horrified, and we're allies! He seems better able to compartmentalise than me though, and wouldn't consider leaving. Sensitive woman that I am, I find it really hard to compartmentalise.
Anyway, I'm going to use the weekend to decide, and would appreciate input. Thank you.

Make use of the nasty man.
Whatever he is, you can not change his thoughts.
You are not responsible for his views.
His racism is not the reason that the fruit grows; he is not profiting from racism.
Everyone around him knows him to be racist..No one blames you for working to earn a living.
Keep the job for as long as it suits you well.
Work hard, earn the money and use it to fund your life until you get a better job.
Bring a book to work so that the racist can see that you are busy during lunch hour. It might lower the chances of verbal interaction.

It is promising that other workers also agree with you.
Spend time with those people. Be helpful and fair to all fellow workers.
Waste no more of your time worrying about the employer.

So basically you will work for a loud racist to fund your lifestyle? You asked what others would do. I wouldn’t work for him.

If it’s fruit picking it can only be for about another 4/6 weeks? Just ignore him. I don’t doubt theses are his views but it also sounds like he is goading you into saying something, probably finds it funny.

Brilliant post! 👏

I wouldn't want to work for him either

He sounds a DISGUSTING piece of excrement

However I would never ever allow a racist to push me into penury.

Grey rock is the answer imo

You'll never change that man. You need to pay your rent, so make use of him for that, do your job and get paid. Don't offer any response when he gets started with his nasty nonsense. Don't let your feelings show, just give a completely blank expression, say nothing and /or walk away and keep working .He will feel awkward when he gets no reaction whatsoever, because if you don't react in any way he has nothing to goad you with. Don't feed the troll kind of thing.

I call it out calmly, set boundaries, and walk away if needed.

So you have a negative stereotypical view of a group of people ie Brexit voters?

As a someone with Indian heritage (mum) with a farmer for a dad I don’t think you should rise to it. Mostly they enjoy winding people up.

Farmers spend their entire lives raising, tending and growing things. That’s a good thing. Keep picking the fruit.

Just be careful op. He’s probably a misogynist as well as a racist. But contrary to my advice above, if you get the feeling that he has latched on to you and you don’t feel safe, then trust your instincts and just get out of there asap. Are you staying there at night as well? If so, is your accommodation safe, and, for example, are you safe visiting the bathrooms?

I don’t want to be alarmist, but if he enjoys winding you up, just be aware that he may be targeting you because you are young and attractive and slightly vulnerable in that he knows you need the work.

I am in my sixties and like you, I like to think that everyone has some redeeming qualities but the problem is that they can co-exist with some pretty grim ones in the same person. Just watch your back.

I’ve noticed that racists often do enjoy the opportunity to wind up non racists, if they can get a rise out of them. I’d blank anything racist he says-don’t give him the satisfaction. Change the subject if you can. He thinks he’s clever, and although I don’t doubt he believes what he says, it’s also attention seeking.

Theres nothing wrong with voting for Brexit
But voting for Brexit / being anti immigration and then also being surprised that there are less people available to do high intensity seasonal work is rather foolish

Keep challenging “ i.e. how does that affect you personally” I always find that a funny one watching them scrabble around looking for excuses like “I can’t get a medical appointment what’s coz all the immigrants …” is usually a classic

Thank you for all the latest posts. Sorry for my delayed response. I'm actually not working there today, as I'm dog/house sitting for a long weekend from today. That's why I thought today was a good time to really start thinking about it, and what to do. So anyway, I was busy getting packed and getting here, so didn't check the thread for a while.
Lots to think about.

I actually think they want to try and recruit other racists so they’ve got a friend. Then they almost get offended when you don’t join them and the racism doubles in response

You’ve already had an impact calling him out and getting him to apologise. Whether it’s a lasting impact or not (he probably won’t change his mind but may change his behaviour especially around new people)
Carry on with the work and carry on showing him that people don’t tolerate such views.

Oh crikey, this post has intensified the guilt I've been feeling all night. That's my problem not yours. You're entitled to post freely, and I'm responsible for my reaction.
I didn't know he was a racist when I accepted the work, only a few weeks ago, and the extent of it has been made more clear as time's gone on.
I don't want to work for him at all. So relieved not to be today. I obviously wouldn't do long-term. But for a few weeks it's literally a case of trying to keep afloat and avoid homelessness. I'm not sure if avoiding homelessness and poverty could be described as a lifestyle, more trying to stay alive.
But, of course I've been compromising my principles massively by working there, hence tossing and turning all night with anxiety about it. I do feel extremely guilty 🥺

I was very accepting of everyone's democratic right to vote whichever way they chose to in the Brexit referendum. I don't for a single minute think all Leave voters were racist. I voted Remain myself. But understand not everyone felt the same way. But, of course the motivation of many Brexit voters was anti immigration. It was in his case and so he can't really grumble about lack of workers now.

Thank you for this. It's very helpful.

Yes, about 4 weeks more. I've got a long weekend off now. But then back again for about 4 weeks. I might use today and the rest of this long weekend to see if I can find something else. If not, I'm not sure I'll have any choice but to get through it somehow.

My dps uncle is horribly racist. If you try and call him out, he just laughs and argues that it's funny. We just get up and leave now. Treat him like a toddler.

He did a horrible joke once in a restaurant and he worked really hard to get it in, kept trying to get everyone's attention and asked us all 'What do you throw a drowning p**i?' Everyone just shook their heads, his wife tried to interject saying 'X, that's not funny' and he just proudly proclaimed 'His wife and kids!'

It was literally silent, even the next table were disgusted. He was the only one laughing. We got up and walked out and left him with the bill. Never socialised with him since. I still won't speak to him. He thinks I'm a prude. I think he is vile, especially the bit about the children.

There's no point even trying to educate him, he just thinks its funny and his wife just makes excuses, saying it's how he was brought up and that the people around him were like that, it's not his fault. I told her I was brought up with dogs, you don't see me shitting in the garden. She won't speak to me either now.

He's probably saying these comments in front of you because you reacted to him.

Like the others said stop giving him the reaction that he wants.

He knows he is racist- he doesn't need educating on this.

With regards to working for him.

I think most managers and people who are employing the most people are not perfect and probably have views that others wouldn't agree with.

You don't have choice about this job. So don't feel guilty about continuing because you are desperate for work.

People have to do things they don't agree with to survive.

The only thing.that stood out a little was- I was wondering if he thought you were virtue signalling when you first told him off and maybe that also triggered him off a bit.

This. I do not blame you for his racism, nor for you needing money. It's all very well people telling you to quit or that they wouldn't work for him - the only people who would say that are people who can afford it! Paying the rent and putting food on the table is a necessity of life. So I wouldn't stay there any longer than I had to, but I would simply blank his comments - you are probably right and he's deliberately goading you because you rise to it. You won't change him or his views, but he'll get fed up of talking to a blank wall.

Yes, maybe he thought I was virtue signalling, though I reacted quite emotionally, so he probably knew I was sincerely offended.
Not certain though.

Gosh, how awful. What an utterly disgusting 'joke'. Poor all of you experiencing that. Not surprised you don't want contact with your dp's uncle.
Likewise, after the next 4 weeks are over, I never want to set eyes on the racist farmer again.

Thank you for this. Yes, I will be careful.
I'm not staying there overnight I'm pleased to say. I commute by train to the nearest village from the town I live in. Then I've mostly walked from there. But, there are times when he's given me lifts (not just me) to the station if he's been doing deliveries. I really want to avoid that, as that's when he's most unpleasant, and also then he expects me to be extra grateful for the lift. I explained I wanted to walk as like fresh air etc. But to my very great shame I accepted a lift back yesterday evening. I didn't want to, but I'd picked fruit for over 10 hours, as worked longer to pick for an order, as knew I wasn't going there today. I was hot, thirsty, shattered and he pretty much dictated I was going with him. But, it was then, as I was leaving that he made the vile comment about Calais. I felt like crying as I couldn't believe I'd agreed to accept the lift. I got very confused, as one moment he was saying awful things, and also making fun of me; then followed it with a compliment that I'm a good worker. So my head was spinning.
They do have caravans on site, and he's suggested I stay over on occasion. I haven't. I do wonder if he's a misogynist too, and do get really bad vibes from him. Can't explain exactly.
I think much of my anxiety last night was around the fact I'd accepted a lift from him. It felt like a command to get in his van, and I didn't want to but gave in. I'm wracked with guilt about that, as it could blur the boundaries going forward.
Oh crikey.
I live a very unusual lifestyle, mostly due to having suffered pretty severe mental illness in the past, and still struggling with mental health issues. I go from gig to gig, trying to sell my paintings in between. So, each little gig really does help me survive.
I've realised I love working outdoors with plant life, and that aspect is great for my mind. Maybe I should channel that into becoming an organic gardener or something, and work for a lovely community project or something with like-minded souls, rather than for a very right-wing racist farmer?
Anyway, thank you for your post. I'll be on my guard x