Page 3 | Do you ever get crushes as a married woman?

bipbopdo · 2025-07-01T02:42:29+00:00

I have a big crush on my physiotherapist and it’s all very embarrassing. It’s like being a teenager again. I feel ridiculous.

InvitingMattress · 01/07/2025 08:15

Ivereallyhadenough · 01/07/2025 08:08

All I'm doing is replying to posters who are taking issue with what I say.

Tbh the fact that so many posters on this thread think that an adult married woman having a " crush" as if she is a teenager is just yet another manifestation of adults not wanting to see themselves as, or act like adults:
So many women referring to other women, and themselves as " girls". Referring to men as " boys" or "lads". And acting like " girls" and " boys" at every opportunity. Women, and some men actually, resorting to botox, fillers, cosmetic surgery etc in the effort to never actually look anything other than young.
So many people just don't want to see themselves as adults, or behave like adults.

The two things are not related.

People have always developed intense feelings for other people, regardless of marital status. Act on them or don’t act on them, obviously, but it’s hardly some new vogue.

Ivereallyhadenough · 01/07/2025 08:39

Shenmen · 01/07/2025 07:57

This is rubbish. Loads of adults have temporary feelings for other people. It's what you do about them that counts.

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It's rubbish IN YOUR OPINION.

I honestly don't understand the point of wedding vows if developing feelings for other people outside the marriage is " normal".

There have been many threads on MN about emotional affairs. And having seen how on this thread so many posters see having feelings for a person outside the marriage as " normal" it's no wonder there are so many emotional affairs.
So many blurred boundaries.

Paddingtonscaresme · 01/07/2025 08:40

Ivereallyhadenough · 01/07/2025 08:08

All I'm doing is replying to posters who are taking issue with what I say.

Tbh the fact that so many posters on this thread think that an adult married woman having a " crush" as if she is a teenager is just yet another manifestation of adults not wanting to see themselves as, or act like adults:
So many women referring to other women, and themselves as " girls". Referring to men as " boys" or "lads". And acting like " girls" and " boys" at every opportunity. Women, and some men actually, resorting to botox, fillers, cosmetic surgery etc in the effort to never actually look anything other than young.
So many people just don't want to see themselves as adults, or behave like adults.

You sound like fun 🙄.

I have a crush on my vet. He's half my age and I'm sure just sees me as a middle aged menopausal client. My husband knows and thinks it's hilarious. We both know it's just a crush and means nothing.

Paddingtonscaresme · 01/07/2025 08:42

Ivereallyhadenough · 01/07/2025 08:39

It's rubbish IN YOUR OPINION.

I honestly don't understand the point of wedding vows if developing feelings for other people outside the marriage is " normal".

There have been many threads on MN about emotional affairs. And having seen how on this thread so many posters see having feelings for a person outside the marriage as " normal" it's no wonder there are so many emotional affairs.
So many blurred boundaries.

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An emotional affair is usually reciprocal. A crush is usually one sided.

Two totally different things.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 01/07/2025 08:44

Ivereallyhadenough · 01/07/2025 08:08

All I'm doing is replying to posters who are taking issue with what I say.

Tbh the fact that so many posters on this thread think that an adult married woman having a " crush" as if she is a teenager is just yet another manifestation of adults not wanting to see themselves as, or act like adults:
So many women referring to other women, and themselves as " girls". Referring to men as " boys" or "lads". And acting like " girls" and " boys" at every opportunity. Women, and some men actually, resorting to botox, fillers, cosmetic surgery etc in the effort to never actually look anything other than young.
So many people just don't want to see themselves as adults, or behave like adults.

Jesus! The op just finds her physio attractive.
It’s not that deep!

InvitingMattress · 01/07/2025 08:47

Ivereallyhadenough · 01/07/2025 08:39

It's rubbish IN YOUR OPINION.

I honestly don't understand the point of wedding vows if developing feelings for other people outside the marriage is " normal".

There have been many threads on MN about emotional affairs. And having seen how on this thread so many posters see having feelings for a person outside the marriage as " normal" it's no wonder there are so many emotional affairs.
So many blurred boundaries.

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Are you this naive in other areas of your life? I mean, do you actually think marriage vows actually magically cut out the capacity to be attracted to people other than your spouse? Acting on them is an entirely different thing to having them.

Myrobalanna · 01/07/2025 08:58

I absolutely LOVE having crushes. It says nothing about my relationship with my husband, which is strong and fun. It says everything about my hormones. When I went into perimenopause I got multiple crushes. I was a raging bag of hormones. Very fun.

I have never, ever, not once, considered a crush to be something that you act upon. It's just biology really! Crossed with imagination.

SerafinasGoose · 01/07/2025 09:04

Classic transference. It’s almost a cliche. No one can help how they feel - they can help how they act on those feelings (or don’t).

I recently had quite a strong and entirely inappropriate physical attraction to DC’s female head teacher! It was neither an infatuation nor an emotional fixation and never something I took remotely seriously. I couldn’t love my DH more.

It’s not at all unusual, nor something you should beat yourself up over. This too shall pass.

Dominoeffecter · 01/07/2025 09:06

Ivereallyhadenough · 01/07/2025 08:39

It's rubbish IN YOUR OPINION.

I honestly don't understand the point of wedding vows if developing feelings for other people outside the marriage is " normal".

There have been many threads on MN about emotional affairs. And having seen how on this thread so many posters see having feelings for a person outside the marriage as " normal" it's no wonder there are so many emotional affairs.
So many blurred boundaries.

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A crush is not an emotional affair 🙄 you are really reaching.

ObtuseMoose · 01/07/2025 09:09

Ivereallyhadenough · 01/07/2025 06:51

If OP finds her Physio attractive then why not say so?

Adult women using words like "crush" which used to describe teenagers feelings of infatuation and longing for film stars/ pop stars is just another way of infantilising themselves.

And the thought of an adult married woman being " giggly" in front of her Physio is truly embarrassing.

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You sound a lot of fun.

Brightmoonlight · 01/07/2025 09:10

The real surprise was when I met a woman barrister in full rig in Court. I remember thinking WoW!,
I had been married 13 years and had 2 DC.

SnemonyLicket · 01/07/2025 10:07

Ivereallyhadenough · 01/07/2025 07:23

You are entitled to disagree but you aren't entitled to tell me to shut up. That's not how a forum for expressing opinions works.

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I’m entitled to say whatever I want. That’s exactly how forums work. You keep trying to belittle and insult the OP, so I’m not sure you get to sit in judgement of my post to you.

Besides, I didn’t tell you to shut up. I wanted to…but I refrained from using those exact words.

Shenmen · 01/07/2025 10:29

Ivereallyhadenough · 01/07/2025 08:39

It's rubbish IN YOUR OPINION.

I honestly don't understand the point of wedding vows if developing feelings for other people outside the marriage is " normal".

There have been many threads on MN about emotional affairs. And having seen how on this thread so many posters see having feelings for a person outside the marriage as " normal" it's no wonder there are so many emotional affairs.
So many blurred boundaries.

Edited

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But you can't help fancying someone. It's a biological thing. When I was younger I used to fancy someone I was stood behind in a supermarket queue, or who lived opposite me but I'd never spoken to. I didn't do anything about it. I have had a few more intense feelings for people that I know and I've just avoided them until the feeling went.

Getting married didn't stop me magically stop having those occasional feelings over 25 years. But being in a relationship meant I did absolutely nothing with those feelings. I've never had an emotional or physical affair and never will.

ArthurBloom · 01/07/2025 11:15

Ivereallyhadenough · 01/07/2025 03:56

"Crushes" is such a cringeworthy expression and something I associate with adolescents.

If you have strong attraction to another man then I would question the state of your marriage.
Or don't you take your marriage vows seriously?

Edited

Wow some people are insufferable!

OP, it is perfectly normal to find someone attractive, or they have traits you find desirable, as long as you don't do anything dishonest or betray trust, there is literally zero problem.