Can anyone talk to me about the ending of therapy?

[therapyending]

I have been in psychotherapy for four and a half years. In February I told my therapist that I wanted to end but then decided to stay as I felt I might be on the brink of something emerging that I wanted to deal with.

Since then I have felt very stuck and frankly am running out of steam with the process and also don't want to spend much more on it. I said again a couple of weeks ago that I would like to end, or at least pause.

My therapists view seems to be that stuckness can come just before another layer emerges and that I have put her in the role of a difficult person in my early life, and that my wanting to end therapy comes from a 'young' place.

I understand what she is saying, but I still want to leave. I am finding it really stressful to go over and over this ground about why I want to leave. I feel like I have a loss of agency, which ties with this difficult person, but also, I feel there is something of a power imbalance between therapist and patient.

She is now suggesting another 6-8 sessions to bring it to an end. I am finding this whole process exhausting and stressful now, but really want to have a good ending.

Anyway, just interested in the thoughts of others who have had long term therapy or who are themselves therapists.

Hi, I'm bringing this thread up again. After the breakthrough that I had I still wanted to end, and my therapist still discouraged me. In the end I said that I wanted a break and we finished in December. I am exploring starting therapy training and so we left it that I would go back to her.

One of the things she said was not to underestimate how difficult it is starting with a new therapist.

I really don't want to go back. I felt completely stuck and it was expensive but I think I am stuck on whether working through my relationship with her would bring further breakthroughs.

I don't know why I need to look for some validation but I feel that I do.

You don’t need to go back. Tbh it sounds as though you might find it more helpful to work with someone new. Assuming you are doing training that requires your own therapy, you need to work with someone you feel comfortable with, as it’s a lot. Listen to your gut.

After a break of three months I have actually started working with a new therapist and am very relieved that I moved on. I think something had become very enmeshed in that former therapy relationship

Great! So glad it worked out for you

That is good to hear @therapyending and just goes to show that you were right to listen to your doubts. Your experience will no doubt come in useful in your future endeavours. Well done for making the change

Thank you both. This thread was very helpful to me