Stop 22 month old breastfeeding

[Toddlertiredp]

I want to stop breastfeeding my toddler. I am touched out and tired. I’m also pregnant and finding it extremely difficult for some reason. However he shows no signs of stopping. Easy to distract during the day and now eating fairly well, drinking well. But I cannot, no matter how drop the feeding to sleep and if he wakes in the night, he screams until he is fed.
I’ve tried getting DH to do it but he screams and shouts mummy (literally for over an hour) until I give in.

Is there a magic tip I’m missing? I’ve no issue cuddling him to sleep, but I genuinely think he would sleep through (and later) if we stopped. He just won’t fall asleep unless fed to sleep!

What can I do to break the cycle? Help me I’m so tired and he wants a feed at half 4/5 every morning and by the time he’s asleep, I’m up for work most mornings?

Help me sleep!

Can you go away for a couple of nights?

Aw it’s so tricky, I just can’t stop feeding my 23 month old either, just can’t put myself through upsetting them that much. No useful advice tbh but the only thing I would say is don’t go cold turkey, it’s cruel, try to reduce feed by feed .

Mine is 2.5 and I feel your pain. Going to try and wean her off gently over the summer but I feel terrible because it's her favourite thing.

I stopped around this age when 7 months pregnant with DC2. We went on holiday and the change in routine meant she didn’t breast feed for a week, when we got back she tried to feed and I said no let’s sing a song instead - that was it all over in a very trauma free way

I agree that a weekend away (for you) might be a good idea…

… how does he cope on nights you aren’t there?

I stopped feeding my eldest about the same age. I needed to take some medication that wasn't compatible with BF. He had good understanding so I told him my milk was running out and would only last a few more days. I picked a day to stop and stuck to it. He cried a lot but I kept telling him the milk was finished with lots of cuddles instead. We gave him cow's milk in a slippy cup which helped a little, and daddy was on hand to help sooth him. It took him a few weeks to stop asking but we got there.

I remember this being very hard and took me a long time. I bf’ed only at nighttime for a while. Bedtime was the hardest.
I got desperate at 2,5yo and used vinegar on my bra to make it smell less appealing and just braced myself for the crying, while just holding. It was harder than giving in, but only lasted a few days.

I also remember telling him the breastmilk has gone to younger babies now, as he doesn’t need it anymore.
He had a bottle of cow milk for bedtime since he was one too.

I read about a book on Mumsnet called Booby moon, which you read with your toddler several times to prepare them. I gave it to my daughter who was having problems weaning, and it worked well. Can definitely recommend

Emma Pickett has some great info on toddler weaning, you can find her in Instagram.

Same thing with me, it was just a feed at night for us still at 2,2yo, but went away for a weekend, and the change in routine meant she didn’t ask, and never did again.

Great excuse for a week/weekend away op 😂

I was exactly the same, I used to feed her to sleep and nothing worked to ween her off. So I packed up for two days left her with her dad. When I came back she tried a little bit but was so much better and it’s been a relief to stop! Although I advice you to still express your milk a little as I got mastitis after!

Night feeds/feeding to sleep were the last ones to go for my DS. Sounds weird but I put plasters on my nipples and told him they were broken. First night was a little tough but he’d had a busy day and a later bedtime so he didn’t have much fight to give. He was still keen to ‘check’ them for a while but because he couldn’t access them, it was easier to be strict about it!

Just make up any old story that the milk has run out and then hold the line for however long it takes (do it on a Friday so at least you don’t have to get up for work the next day). At the moment he knows he’s stronger than you and you will give in.

And as for the other replies (of which there are depressingly many) where mothers are worried about upsetting their children when stopping, you will have spoilt entitled brats for children if you can’t face saying no to them over something for fear of them getting upset. Terrible parenting.

I did this with my 2 DC at this age. Put a plaster on the first nipple and told them it hurts. A few days later I ask them about what if the 2nd one is hurt too. Then a day or so later added a plaster on the 2nd one. Then kept the plasters on for a few days for when they asked. Had a bit of crying when they woke up at night looking for it but didn't last more than 30s. It was relatively painless

Cross post. This worked really well for me as well.

Also BF my DD until she was two. I knew it was more out of habit and comfort that she kept wanting BF so I used a tiny dab of lemon juice on my nipples - just enough for her to get a slight sour taste and she was put off enough not to try again. Perhaps I got lucky but it was the push she needed to transition to cows milk and it worked a treat.

We finally stopped in February when DS was 3.5. I hope this doesn't depress you, it does finally end is what I'm saying. Personally I found it hard to force I know some people decide to do 6 months or a year then can just stop dead, but I wasn't one of them. In the end it was for the good of us all that we stopped (I'd had a health scare and wanted to lose weight) which helped how I framed it to myself and helped me keep firm on it.

He'd started to sleep through at the beginning of the year, so no wake up feeds, finally. No day feeds since 18 months (unless ill) and fairly short wake up and to sleep feeds, so I think we weren't far off anyway. He had a massive tantrum that night but my DH was there to help/stop me caving in.

DH had been away for overnights for work week in, week out from DS being 6 weeks old to that point, which is why I'd not been successful previously. I'd try from time to time but he'd scream and I'd give in just so we could both get some sleep. Support is crucial in my experience.

We'd told him I had to take medicine which meant I couldn't feed him as it would make him ill (a half truth). He had a big tantrum that night and a smaller one the next. Over the next few weeks he asked at intervals but it gradually disappeared. He started asking for food in bed so a sippy cup of cows milk while cuddling in for a story was his own work around. It might not be a great habit to set up but if you're desperate to get him weaned it could be worth a try. Plasters, lemon juice and me being away didn't work for us. Him finding his own solution helped me also, we'd done it together. Good luck.

it’s tough OP! they become so accustomed to their ways at this age and it’s hard to stop. What really helped with my first - and therefore I’m now waiting for on my 22 month old, is to wait until they turn 2 and are fully verbal. once we could communicate properly, i told my toddler what’s going to happen (there are toddler books that can help too) and that we could cuddle but breastfeeding was finished. We said ‘bye bye boobie’ 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ He asked for 2.5 days and each time we said the same thing and had a cuddle. that was it! no tears, no hardship. fingers crossed on #2!

Google the Jay Gordon method. It’s very gentle but worked easily the twice I used it.

Lots of extra food at bed time. Can you sneak some extra calcium/ fat type foods in during the day too? I also use to count down when I wanted them to stop that feed . Odd I know but it worked. So bit my bit making the night feeds shorter. Gradually shifting the calorie intake from night to day. The soothing part thing is hard I know. X

You could’ve been me! I spoke to the infant feeding team at 21 months as I was pregnant and wanted to stop (did you know pregnancy hormones can cause you to have a feeding aversion?). Basically the only way is to get DH to do it. The feeding team lady said DO NOT GIVE IN. It was hard it took 3 or 4 nights but the crying got less each night. I did shut myself away so I couldn’t hear it. We also gave her so much praise in the morning. There were a couple of times in the following weeks when she was sad that she asked but have never looked back since. Worth chatting to your local feeding team if you have one, they support with stopping as well!

Didn't last more than 30s

I thought you meant into your child's 30s at first. 🤪 Took a microsec to catch on! 😆

I sent my husband into my daughter bedroom on her 3nd birthday and he told her mum had gone out shopping and she went to sleep. Never asked again. You need to say you are not there and not give in.

It was her 2nd birthday not 3rd🤦‍♀️