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Someone is secretly bullying me at work..

388 replies

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 23/06/2025 22:42

And I don't know who it is.

Basically, someone constantly changes my chair settings on the days I leave at 3pm (and others are in the office until 4/5pm).
I have a really bad back so my chair is set at a position that helps it plus we all have to do ergonomic checks as part of an EHS thing for our desk and chair.
So it really annoys me when it has been played with and someone is doing it on purpose. Other things happen to like the cables of my monitor are unplugged and my mouse is switched off.
When I started there over a year ago there were a couple of guys who would do stuff like this and it happened so much I had to bluntly tell them to stop. And they did. But this seems to be a bit 'extra'. I obviously made the mistake of showing my annoyance when it has happened previously (and by that I mean by saying something like "who has changed my chair settings?"

But the issue is - I don't know who it is and won't be able to find out.
My manager won't be able to find out. There's no CCTV and no one would admit it if she brought it up..so what do I do?!

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 23/06/2025 22:45

Why not swap your chair with a different one before you leave?

However I think you should still tell your manager

SaturdayDream · 23/06/2025 22:46

Or maybe someone else is using the desk space and unplugging things when they are done.

Bullying is a stretch.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 23/06/2025 22:46

Because it would be obvious? It's an open plan office.

I did tell her and she agreed it would be annoying but like I honestly don't know what she could do!

OP posts:
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 23/06/2025 22:46

SaturdayDream · 23/06/2025 22:46

Or maybe someone else is using the desk space and unplugging things when they are done.

Bullying is a stretch.

No one is. It's not that type of set up.

OP posts:
Squiggles23 · 23/06/2025 22:47

Hmmm OP, can you lay a trap somehow. Secret camera? Might be an investment..

Is there no one you can ask who you trust?

The only other trap I can think of is leaving something which is likely to stain and see who has the marks.

I think they will get bored if you stop reacting though.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 23/06/2025 22:48

I think I'd be in trouble if I set up a camera and got caught but I have considered that.
What kind of thing could stain?

There is one person I trust but unfortunately she has usually left before me!

OP posts:
BMW6 · 23/06/2025 22:48

Go Pro camera set up somewhere discreet?

macaronisaidshetlandpony · 23/06/2025 22:49

Can you act like you’re leaving one day and then dash back in and catch them?
Or:

Rub some red ink around the computer wire so they get their hands stained.

Discreetly unscrew parts of the chair so when they fiddle with it, it falls apart.

if you do find out who it is then look at last week’s revenge thread… it was ace.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 23/06/2025 22:50

I think if th chair falls apart that would work in their favour. To them, my chair is fucked haha.
The staining thing is a good idea I just need to figure out what!

Revenge thread..I'll go look now!

OP posts:
Beachtastic · 23/06/2025 22:53

Company I used to work for used to have the IT guys come in after hours doing systems stuff. I had no idea until I met one of them at a Xmas party and he told me. Are you sure it couldn't be something similar?

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 23/06/2025 22:56

It's definitely not anything like that.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 23/06/2025 23:00

If you Google, how to booby trap a desk, there's a surprising amount of suggestions.

TruthOrAlethiometer · 23/06/2025 23:02

Set up a camera, find out who it is. Once you know, you just say that you came back in because you left something and saw them doing it with your own eyes so left without saying anything as you wanted to have a calm discussion the following day.

HoundMother · 23/06/2025 23:05

Does your office stamp incoming post? I’d rub an ink pad on the settings handle/knobs, that stuff doesn’t come off your fingers for days. If you don’t want to do anything like that, perhaps approach your manager and ask if she’s actually going to do her managing job? 😁 If not I’d squeal to OH. They’ve spent a lot of money for you to have the right set up so they might be useful

NotTheRealStacy · 23/06/2025 23:08

I’m sure there must be some kind of usb stick camera you can plug in discreetly.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 23/06/2025 23:14

I agree with you, it looks like bullying although they'll paint it as having a 'bit of fun'
Who is there when you leave? Could your manager hang around one evening and observe surreptitiously?

Ninkynonkpinkyponks · 23/06/2025 23:14

Cleaner?!

AngelicKaty · 23/06/2025 23:16

@Hungrycaterpillarsmummy OP, some of the alternative reasons pps have suggested (like IT dept doing O/N work) aren't outside the realms of probability, surely? If you want to be sure it's someone dicking you around though, you could print this out on an A4 sheet of paper and leave it stuck to your monitor before you leave each day:

PLEASE:

  • Do not adjust my chair
  • Do not unplug the cables of my monitor, and
  • Do not switch off my mouse

If it continues happening, you'll know it's someone bullying you and you could raise a grievance with HR who would be obliged to conduct an investigation (which may put a stop to the behaviour anyway).

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 23/06/2025 23:17

I honestly don't think anyone will do it if someone else is there. Most people have left by 4pm. I do have a suspicion on who it is but can't be sure.
No not cleaner.

Ok I've ordered a camera but I am really worried about what would happen if I got caught

OP posts:
Cardinalita90 · 23/06/2025 23:18

Do you hotdesk? If not, I'd reapproach your manager and say your chair is set to that position for H&S reasons. They're more likely to take it seriously if you mention that. And say it keeps being changed, is she in agreement for you to either have a specialist chair or put a sign on yours? Then if it continues it'll.be clear it's personal

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 23/06/2025 23:19

AngelicKaty · 23/06/2025 23:16

@Hungrycaterpillarsmummy OP, some of the alternative reasons pps have suggested (like IT dept doing O/N work) aren't outside the realms of probability, surely? If you want to be sure it's someone dicking you around though, you could print this out on an A4 sheet of paper and leave it stuck to your monitor before you leave each day:

PLEASE:

  • Do not adjust my chair
  • Do not unplug the cables of my monitor, and
  • Do not switch off my mouse

If it continues happening, you'll know it's someone bullying you and you could raise a grievance with HR who would be obliged to conduct an investigation (which may put a stop to the behaviour anyway).

I would absolutely have the piss ripped out of me if a put a note up though. Honestly the office is very bitchy and childish. I would expect more of my stuff would be tampered with if a did that.

OP posts:
Hoogey · 23/06/2025 23:21

macaronisaidshetlandpony · 23/06/2025 22:49

Can you act like you’re leaving one day and then dash back in and catch them?
Or:

Rub some red ink around the computer wire so they get their hands stained.

Discreetly unscrew parts of the chair so when they fiddle with it, it falls apart.

if you do find out who it is then look at last week’s revenge thread… it was ace.

Link pleeeeeease!

Cardinalita90 · 23/06/2025 23:22

OP be VERY careful about taking a camera. It could backfire massively, especially if your office has commercially sensitive or HR information lying around. I wouldn't do it, it's bound to breach a policy somewhere (even implicitly) and you'll probably find yourself facing disciplinary action.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 23/06/2025 23:26

It definitely will be breaching some policy. There isn't sensitive info laying around though. I agree it is risky. What I thought I could do is place it strategically not on my desk and if it is discovered I feign ignorance?

But...if it does work and I find out who it is how can I actually say "I know it's you 100%" would I just say I saw them as walked away as per a pp?

OP posts:
WHATtom · 23/06/2025 23:30

Jesus Christ. Absolutely do not use a camera. That’s straight up disciplinary territory.