Worried about ds going to secondary

[Imagoodperson999]

Ds will be going into year 6 in September. Im really worried about him starting secondary school. He has autism is on an ehcp. He's had his ehcp updated recently. He's working at year 1 level.

He's very sensitive and can get withdrawn emotionally/mentally. He will completely close down and won't/can't communicate.

SENCO have said he will be ok at mainstream secondary. With support and neutering.

I find it hard to believe a secondary school can be understanding of him . Have the time and patience to listen to him and be neutering.

I have spoken to one secondary school which my dd still gos to and my adult son went to. They said Ds would be put on the lowest level which makes sense. Home work must be done. The thing with this is they do sparkx? Sorry I may have got the name wrong and if they don't get 100% right they get detention.. so ds will get punished for not knowing answers . He also can't obtain information very well . So he could have been helped with the answer in class but he won't remember that by the time he gets home. And that would be in school at well so he would come across as if he's nkt paying attention. He can't start hus work on his own so he will just sit there and not communicate.

He's ok socially with friends.

But also I know SEN school would not be suitable for him.

I just want him to be happy . Not scared of going to school. Not punished for having special needs.

Home education would not be suitable and private is out of the question

You have come across extremely well throughout the thread. It is obvious by the way you write that you have some learning difficulties yourself - no criticism. Your son is right in the middle of the levels accepted by the special school. This is where he needs to be. Please visit the school before the end of term and make an appointment to speak to the headteacher. The staff in special schools are also very used to parents having learning difficulties and will help you as best they can.

I rang them already they said their visits are all full until September and they will give me a ring to arrange an appointment. That worrys me a bit because I think why not just make the appointment for September. Why would they remember to call me. Yeah my learning difficulties worry me a bit because I think the council/local authority could take the piss.

In your position, I would ring the special school back and make an appointment for September. I would also let them know about your own learning difficulties and the fact that you get anxious very easily as a result.

I will ring them later or tomorrow

You didn’t come across badly. I just didn’t want you to think I was criticising you when I suggested re-reading the thread.

The school may not be making appointments for September yet. If they aren’t, you could add it in your calendar to call the second week of September.

I think they do have them before September. They told me they are full. They show around in small groups. And are cull to September.

The school may have tours before September and this academic year’s might be full, but they might not be booking September’s viewings yet. They may know they will be holding some but not know the precise details in order to be able to book them yet.

I don't think sossen is going to work out. When I spoke to the adviser on the pho e she told mr tl send a copy of ds ehcp that they coukd look at it and help me from there . She said its 145.00 . She said please dont let that put you off if you can afford it. Still send it anyway we can still support.

I got an email saying they were ready to look at the ehcp before they can start I need to send 145.00 . There's no way I can do that.

So I need to find an alternative.

Have you replied saying you can’t afford it and can they still help?

I only replied that I couldn't afford it. But didn't mention help. Because I felt like i was taking the piss.

Ask if they can still help.

I will give it a couple of days to see if they reply.

I spoke to SENDIAS yesterday. They were really helpful. At first she was encouraging mainstream she said unless it says that he needs a specialist setting on the report it will be extremely hard to get him a place then she was saying how they have to make changes for him simplify things for him..

I then gave an example and said but if hes told to do xyz. He may say he understands. He may do x but by the time hes done x. Hes forgot what was said about yz . And he won't say anything. He will just sit there and not ask for help that can then lead him to get into trouble when its all due to autism/sen . She then said they can write him a list/bullet points so he has something to follow. I then said but how's he going to read i she then said what he can't read. I said well vay,hate,cat maybe a few 4 letter words he has to sound everything.

Then she completely changed and she asked for my permission to talk to the LA. She said shes going to ask education phycologist if they are going to do an assessmen on ds. If they say no . Then she's going to tell me to request one. And get everything up to date.

She said she doesn't normally get involved woth vases she normally advised in what direction to go and its not normally het its other members of staff but she's going to get me started off. I might even tell her i have learning difficulties myself it might get us a bit of extra help. I wouldn't normally but I don't want things to mess up for gs

Well done @Imagoodperson999. You have worked really hard on Max's behalf. It sounds as if you are on the right track. I would definitely tell this lady about your own learning difficulties, although she has probably already realised this. You are a very good mother.

Im not sure probably will once she gets an email from me 😅 i will say incase though. I don't think she would have realised about ds had i not said he can barely read.