Married with kids? Will question

[IndieRocknRoll]

FIL passed away recently and it’s made us realise that we really must sort out a will.

It then got me wondering how we should have our wills written. For context I’ve been married to DH for 20 years. Two kids together.

I had never really been too concerned as I thought legally, if anything happened to me then everything would pass to DH. All fine in theory but then if he was to remarry and not make a new will (wouldn’t put it past him, he’s very disorganised) my share of the house etc would pass to a new spouse?

We have both said we wouldn’t remarry for this reason but a friend of my parents has just remarried in his 90s so I guess never say never!
I’d like to ring fence my share of our house for the kids but equally wouldn’t want to make life difficult for DH.
just wondered what others in our situation have done?

I’ve left my death in service to our kids for this reason - DH gets my share of the house plus our cash and isas etc but they get my death in service. So at least they would have something. I don’t know if he would re-marry or if he wound sort out a will for our kids!

You can leave your share of the house to your kids and give your husband a lifetime interest so he can live in it and then it will go to them.

Our house is owned by both of us.
Our will leaves each of our 50% to our dc as and when it is sold after either of our death's. So the remaining person can continue to live in it, but if they choose to sell, or when they die, 1/2 the value goes to our dc, whether or not the remaining one of us remarries.

I trust my husband not to remarry and leave everything to a new spouse. Perhaps different once we’re older but currently we’re in 30s/40s so I’m leaving everything to DH so he can do what he needs or wants to do without restrictions.

Thank you, I’ll look into the lifetime interest in the house side of things.
@peidhDassffeksI’m with you on leaving it to DH to sort as he sees fit. We’ve both said we won’t remarry but I’m a realist and who knows what might happen if one of us is old and lonely?! I just feel like I shouldn’t leave things to chance. I wouldn’t begrudge him another wife, just want to make sure our children are protected.

Sorry to say but reality is that if you do die, he likely will at least move someone else in and leave her your share. Even if he doesn't marry her.

Everybody promises they won't remarry, just like everyone who gets divorced once promised "until death us do part". It's something nice you say in the moment, and mean it when you say it, but things change. Reality bites.

If you want to ensure that your share eventually goes to your children then you need some form of trust arrangement.

Relying on death in service benefits is not a great plan. For starters, the payouts are at the discretion of the trustees so they can ignore your wishes. They also might not pay out, you might move jobs to something less valuable or be sacked or between jobs or leave due to illness. Life insurance would be more suitable to rely upon.

However, don't forget that if you leave cash its value will erode. If you pre-decease him by 20 or 30 years, the house value will increase enormously by the time he leaves it to his new wife.

Please speak to a solicitor and take formal advice on how to achieve what you want for your children.

How would it work if one of us remarried and wanted to move in with a future partner? Could you still sell the house? Lots of questions! Going to make a solicitors appointment to talk things through I think.

Sensible to be thinking about this OP. DH and I have wills leaving everything to each other - but the scenario you describe does concern me.

I think it is sensible to consult a solicitor. With regard to the house, you say it’s jointly owned but there are two types of joint ownership. The most usual one is a joint tenancy, where both of you own all of the property. In this instance the whole of the house is automatically owned by the surviving person.

The other type of joint ownership is tenants in common. This will often be in equal shares (ie 50% each) but can be any percentages. With this type of ownership both of you are free to leave your own share to whoever you wish

Wills are automatically "null and void" if either party re-marries. But there is nothing to stop him making a new will and leaving everything to a new spouse.

My husband and I used to be joint tenants, so when one of us died the other would automatically have had the whole house. We changed that a few years ago so that we are now tenants in common. Our respective halves of the house will go to the people mentioned in our wills, with the surviving partner having a lifetime interest in it.

We have two children together and I am leaving my half of the house to them. If my husband marries again he can only leave his half to his new wife.

He has a child from his first marriage and his half of the house will be split three ways. If it all went to me, I could just split it in half when I died, leaving his son nothing.

I like to think I wouldn’t do that - and I like to think that he wouldn’t disinherit our children if I died first -
but it seemed safer to make sure of it.

DH and I are both in second marriages. He has a DD and I have 3 DC. All our offspring are now middle aged adults. He has 1 DGD and I have 5 DGC. We have kept our finances mainly separate for these reasons, and we own our house as tenants in common. We have both made wills that allow the survivor of whichever of us dies first to remain in the house until either that person dies or the house is sold. At that point the proceeds of the sale will be split - his half to his child, mine to my children, unless the sale is because the survivor needs to fund elder care, in which case only the deceased partner’s beneficiaries inherit their share. My estate goes mainly to my DC and his to his DD and DGD. It’s unlikely that either of us would remarry, but even if one of us did the house would still have to be sold on that person’s death to enable the heirs to inherit their share.

My DH and I are tenants in common for exactly the reasons you say. If one of us dies, our half of the house goes to our children.

My mum and dad did the same and my mum died 2 years ago. So I now own 1/4 of their house, my sister owns 1/4 and my dad owns 1/2. There is a condition written into it that we can't turf my dad out and make him sell it (not that we would).

We also have life insurance that covers the cost of the mortgage and more, so the surviving parent will be able to pay off the mortgage and have a substantial amount to look after the children.

Speak to a solicitor about setting up a trust for your half for the children. You have no idea if your husband will remarry and then it all goes to the new wife upon his death….. secure your children’s future. My FIL set up a trust for his sons for his half and my MIL kept her half when he passed. She’s comfortable and the sons have access to funds and the MIL can dip into the trust if need be and anything she “owes” to the trust upon death gets paid from her estate.

My parents became tenets in common years ago when my dad died his half was left to us three with my mum allowed to continue to live in the house and she is responsible for upkeep

maybe something to consider

is there a way of allowing the surviving partner with the lifetime interest to move house, without having to split the money?
Our current house will be too large to grow old in.

IANAL but it might involve setting up some kind of trust from which the surviving partner can benefit during his or her lifetime but would not allow a partner from a second marriage to benefit.

It's fairly simple. Switch to being Tenants in Common (you could make this change without DH needing to sign anything) and leave your half of the house in trust for the DC. You do have to nominate trustees in the will. You could give your DH lifetime interest to live in the house but your half would go to the DC on his death and it would not be able to be used for any care home costs he may incur.

I’ve considered doing this, changing our wills to tenants in common and leaving our halves to our son with a lifetime right to remain there for the other spouse.

But I’d be concerned about the surviving spouse wanting to move and only having access to “their” half of the house value to do so. I couldn’t stay in this house or maybe even village if my husband died, but half our house value wouldn’t get anything near us that wasn’t nice but really tiny or needed renovation.

Most LIT wills explicitly allow the survivor to move and use the first to die’s equity to buy a new house. The trust then owns half of the new house.

Small bit of advice from someone who did it all wrong then had to start again... Don't just go to a solicitor. Solicitors will basically do what you tell them... So if you say trust, which is definitely what you need, they will just set one up. But you need advice about which trust and what will work for you. For instance, do you put your home into trust now? Or later on death? There's loads of tax implications and you need to get it right so your will does what you need. Find a decent financial advisor first - one who is STEP registered so qualified in wills and trusts - and run through your options. You can always go to a solicitor to set it all up once you're clear about what you really need...

The problem with the lifetime interest thing is that if the surviving person wants/needs to move because the house is unsuitable, they can't do that then use the proceeds to buy a new house to live out their days in. When it's sold they'd lose their share. So it can mean people are a bit trapped in unsuitable houses.

That’s not an issue the will can state the survivor can move. The real issue with them is the survivor wanting to remortgage / enter equity release. Mortgagees won’t like that half the house owned by a trust.

There are pros and cons of all to spouse / LIT wills. A good solicitor will take you through each option and work out what’s best for your circumstances.

I roll my eyes when I come across a trust will for a couple with no kids who aren’t that bothered about their beneficiaries. So much easier to leave it all to the survivor.

A good solicitor would have done all this. Go to a STEP qualified solicitor, they will know far more about wills and trusts than any financial adviser, even a STEP qualified one.

Excellent advice from Gaping Whole.
Pay to see a Solicitor. Not cheap but really worrh it. Money wll spent. Dont assume anything with the Law.

You cannot see into the future and i hope you will.be happy y but you nevet know what will hsppen. So get a Will.written asap to ciover all the angles

Also think about if your or your DH jave to go into a Nursing Home. You may be forced to sell your home to pay the fees.

Tenants in Common Trusts can avoid this.
I personally think rhey are a disgrace and should be banned. But may be helpful ti your family in the future.

l am.single, estranged from my family and doint have much.money..But l.have a Will, a Limited Power of Attonrney and aprepaid Funeral Plan. Everything sorted. No Worries.

Only twenty per cent of people leave a Will.
Makes life a lot easier for your surviving relatives when you do go.

Why are they a disgrace? You don’t get out of paying for your own care as an individual. You pay for your own care. The will protects the late spouses estate being used to the survivors care too.