Menopause, Autism and ADHD

[Summerseagulldays]

Another night of no sleep
Brain racing,stressing ,of on its own tangent
Days filled with anxiety
I hit 48 and everything I was struggling with seemed to get so much worse.
I can't control the thoughts..
My doctor is absolutely no help,.I've got propnanol and a course of CBT .
She says this is just how it is when you have autism .
It's like there's me ..and then my brain, and my brain is not on my side .
God help me if ADHD meds don't make a difference,when I finally get prescribed some

I just don't want to be me anymore

It is bad of your doctor to say that’s just how it is. Could you contact any talking therapies in your area? You are not alone. It’s a lot to deal with at once.

Are you hrt? I think your experience is not uncommon. It does completely suck, though.
how much mindful/nature connected stuff do you do? Might help with managing the anxiety.

I found CBT helped, I also did a mindfulness course through NHS which helped and had some hypnotherapy (privately) . I’ve started HRT although not for moods more aching/insomnia/ sweats. It has helped with insomnia and sweats but not with aching (yet) I seem to have 2/3 low mood days a month since starting it.

I'm hoping the CBT will help,it just feels like a huge demand
I don't know I would have the patience for mindfulness
I'm still taking the POP , planning on staying on that till 55.
Not on hrt , because doctor has never suggested anything is menopause,every thing I struggle with is autism..she says .
I've read it makes you have periods,and in our area it's actually a 2 year wait for a menopause clinic which is miles away . people I know are having to go private because of the 2 year wait for menopause clinic .
Why we need a clinic is beyond me
Half of the world goes through menopause,you think a doctor could prescribe..even if not ,a two year wait for something half the population goes through seems mad to me
Not really doing any mindfulness or nature stuff
I'm getting the CBT through talking therapies
Thanks for the replies x

Menopause must be making things worse, because I got to 48 ,and suddenly couldn't stop eating,put 2 stone on and my anxiety got worse

I think that hrt will help with all of this, I know you shouldn’t have to but go to the private clinic that your friend is using and get some prescribed.

I think they are a bit off here. Push for some help with the menopause first. Don’t let them tell you it’s autism as you rightly said this wasn’t an issue 10 years ago and you were still autistic then.

Short term, I turn brain off by putting on Friends, I’ve seen it a million times and I can close my eyes listening to it. Another friend on the spectrum listens to audiobooks. I find it helps with the constant chatting and give my brain something to focus on. If you share a bedroom, the headphones that fabric and wrap round your head are life saver.

I find I watch TV and listen to music or go my phone scrolling..that helps with the noise
But trying to sleep when it's chatting away is a nightmare.
Yes I share a room ,the snoring keeps me awake as well

I was like this and burned out at 50. I'm finally on an antidepressant that works and feel much better. I still couldn't continue in my job though as I can't talk to people for any longer than about an hour before I start to shut down. I work by myself now and it's okay.

An antidepressant might help you.

I don't understand why your gp is so reticent to help you? A low level dose of mirtazapine would help with insomnia and some of the worst anxiety effects, like racing thoughts and inability to switch off. It's not perfect and You may still have some nights of sleeplessness due to your hormones being out of balance, but some rest is better than none. You seem stuck in the adrenaline fuelled spiral of fight or flight, and you need something to get you out of the loop. I've never known anyone having to be referred to a menopause clinic in order to be prescribed hrt; that's absurd! If that were standard practice, half of the female over 45 population would be clogging up the nhs with wait times! What's their reasoning OP?

Everything I know about menopause clinic is from friends who are waiting to be seen ..it's just how it is here
Antidepressants.. doctor says I've tried everything there is to try and nothing works,so she says no point trying anything else .
I already feel like someone has thrown a blanket over me ,and an antidepressant makes me slower ,quieter, distant ,and like a zombie..I can literally feel it slowing me down within a few hours of taking it .
My doctor says this is typical for autism, being sensitive to medication.
I'm moaning about her ..but actually she's not wrong ..I have spent over 30years trying one after another after another,often a 6 month break where I try to manage ,then back to try something else .
So I do see her point and she always has plenty of time to chat to me .
I'm literally praying I get prescribed ADHD meds later this year ..and praying I can tolerate them
I need something to perk me up ,not slow me down further

I'm so sensitive to the weather as well
Either hot or cold ,I can't tolerate extremes , probably why I was awake all last night .

It would help to clarify whether when you talk about the waiting time for a menopause consultation, are you in the UK and talking about NHS provision?

You really need to try oestrogen. The issues you've described are par for the course for many going through the menopause. The autism is a bit of a red herring here - if it became unmanageable at 48 that's most likely due to falling levels of oestrogen.

I went privately at first as I was fobbed off by my GP then the prescription transferred to NHS.

I do get your dilemma, but when you say " all anti depressants " are you just referring to ssri like sertraline, or have you tried other types like mirtazapine? I can't tolerate ssris at all - they make me agitated and increase the anxiety and insomnia. Even low doses of anti psychotic can help as well, but it sounds like your gp wouldn't try these with you? I think you need to break down what is happening with your mental health into components: perimenopause, anxiety, insomnia and the flat mood sounds like depression, so you may need more than one medication to address the different symptoms. If you're in the uk and over 45 you absolutely have the right to request hrt.

There's nothing left to put me on that she can prescribe.
She spoke to adult mental health team and they suggested some strong ones ,but I couldn't tolerate those either .
Part of the problem is I have a difficult home life ,there's been very bad violence between the siblings,I can't be half cut or two sheets to the wind ,we've had social services involved twice for the violence,I absolutely can't have them involved a third time

My understanding of hrt ,is that it stops you going through menopause,you keep having periods and only when you come of hrt do you then go through menopause.
I'd rather just get it over and done with ,I don't want to prolong it .
Maybe if I try ADHD meds and they are no good for me ,I might have to rethink

That’s not right OP

perimenopause is the period running up to actual menopause. It can last years and is characterised by changes in your natural hormones. It’s these changes that create the symptoms and these symptoms can be controlled with replacement hormones (HRT). Eventually, and simplistically put, your natural hormones fade away. When you are on HRT you might not know exactly when your periods would have stopped.

It’s the dose of progesterone that determines your periods so if you are currently having periods and are under 55 you take progesterone for 2 weeks then a break, then you bleed and so on. Once you get to 55 then you can have a continuous dose of progesterone and there would be no more periods.

It’s the oestrogen dose that helps with the typical menopause symptoms and for lots of us it’s life-changing.

I also have oestrogen pessaries to keep my vulva healthy and more recently I had had testosterone to improve my libido and body strength. My HRT prescription has changed over the 7 or 8 years I’ve been having symptoms and that’s been in response to the shifts in my natural hormones.

TLDR HRT treats symptoms of menopause it does not prolong menopause

You need hrt, seriously. My autism and ADHD went nuts at menopause. In fact, that's when I sought assessments. Hrt made my life infinitely better, reducing anxiety, killing off brain fog, hot flushes, insomnia etc. When ADHD meds were added to the mix, life became a lot easier.

It's not perfect, I still have my areas of difficulty, but am no longer in high anxiety and I've not needed antidepressants since I started the latter, bar a short period after my mum died. My brain is no longer in overdrive. I can actually sit still and relax or focus (mostly). Any GP can prescribe hrt. Over 40s with peri symptoms should be prescribed them in the first instance. Not antidepressants, not bloody Clonadine nor sent for blood tests and scans.

Go speak to the GP again. Look up the NICE guidelines for prescribing hrt. Print them out and take them with you. That's what a GP should be following.

Thankyou
But I'm not sure I want to take hrt
I just want to get over menopause
I've not been able to cope with periods,on top of life ,I've always made sure I'm on contraception that stops them .I don't want to risk going on hrt and having to come of the pill and go back to having periods

I'm on the progesterone only pill ,so I never have a period and I'm 52 now .
I must be through the best part of it ,
I've heard horror stories from friends on hrt ,waking up in the morning to a murder scene in the bed ,I couldn't cope with that

You don’t have to go back to having periods on HRT - you can be on the conti type where you take the same dose every day of the month, if your GP is happy to prescribe that.
You’re not going to get over menopause - it doesn’t work like that. You need estrogen to feel better OP and that’s not going to ever feel easier. I have no plans to come off HRT ever!
If necessary see a different GP. It’s well know that for women with ADHD or autism, menopause is when the wheels come off. You don’t have to be feeling awful.

Ah just read your last post - progesterone only - no wonder you feel so terrible!! Get yourself some estrogen ASAP!!

I have a Mirena coil which stopped my periods completely and oral oestrogen. Not had one for over 20 years, I always struggled with them too, even before endometriosis reared its ugly head.