To think we haven’t been invited to this wedding?

[WhereisCritch]

About a year ago we received a save the date card for a wedding this August.

The hen do has been and gone - I was invited but wasn’t able to attend.

We haven’t received an invitation yet. On the face of it, do you think we have been left off the guest list?

I think so as it’s June now and you say the wedding is taking place in August.

No, I would think I'm still invited.
Why not just ask? Very weird to invite you to the hen but not the wedding?

We got a wedding invite for a wedding last year in sep and the wedding was in the Oct so I wouldn’t say it’s a defo you’re not invited. Are you close can you call her and see what’s going on?

I would have thought they'd have sent invitations by now but you never know

I think it's fair enough to make other plans if you've been saving the day but not had an invitation yet

Maybe they are doing the six week schedule

I would probably wait until a month before and then ask. Unless you need to make/cancel plans for childcare or something asap, in which case I'd ask now.

Six or eight weeks ahead is normal in my experience.

Can you just ask??

If you know anyone else who’d be going, I’d ask if they’ve had their invitation yet

If food choices are made on the day it's fairly common to leave the invites until later.

We're invited to a wedding beginning of September and only got the invite on Friday.

I'd still check with the bride/groom in case your invite got lost in the post. That would be horrendous for everyone.

Of course we will ask but I’m just trying to ascertain how awkward a conversation it may be!

Surely if you are asked to save the date then you should be receiving an invitation giving details, otherwise why ask someone to save the date?

Not necessarily, we had a save the date card (and a pack of sunflower seeds to plant so that the flowers could be used to decorate the venue) and were only invited to the evening reception.

I do t think all ‘save the dates’ necessarily translate into actual invitations.

Wedding invitations are often only sent out 6-8 weeks before the wedding if they've already sent out Save the Dates, so depending on when in August it is, they may not have sent them yet.

Was she upset you didn't go to the hen do? She might not think you are that interested so has quietly dropped you off the list, or thinks you won't turn up for that either so not worth wasting an invite.

I reckon you see on the evening do list. They’ve sent out the day invites and are seeing how many rsvps they get and then sending out the evening invites after

If you received a save the date then I would contact them and ask whether they have sent invitations out yet because you haven't received one.

I think sending a save the date to someone and then deciding not to invite them and not to contact them to apologise (with a reasonable explanation of unexpected finances or smaller venue or something), is incredibly rude. I wouldn't dream of doing it. Asking someone to keep a date free, annoying my wedding and then not inviting them? On that basis, any awkwardness is on them and you should contact them with that in mind. If they have to say you aren't invited and that is embarrassing for them then that serves them right.

What 🤣 you had to grow flowers for a wedding you were only invited to the evening of? Did you do it?

I would send a breezy message. Hi. Just checking in to see if I should continue to save the date for your wedding in case you’ve had to reduce numbers.

Yes same as @TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams, I’d text and ask if you still need to save the date or not?

We got a Save the Day card for a friend's wedding. Turned out we were only invited to the night do. In a Marquee in the garden. They had a staffed bar. This was 17 years ago, we were charged £1.50 for a can of Coke - which had the words "multi pack, not to be sold separately" emblazoned on them. I opened the Champagne I took as a gift and drank it.

I like your style @Stinksmum !

We went to a wedding last year- 200 miles away and "bring a dish". The evening before there was a pre-wedding pub meal (guests paid). The pub had a deal where you hit a free bottle of wine with two main meals. They gave these out unopened. DH and I were looking forward to drinking it in our premier inn that evening. As we were leaving the pub a friend of the bride was standing by the door taking people's wine off them saying "we're saving these for the wedding tomorrow". Cheeky mare.

As it happened, the wedding was massively over catered by people "bringing a dish", because most people had travelled several hours in the preceding days (groom not British) and bundled down to the local supermarket that morning. There was a horrifying amount of food left, which couldn't be given away because it hadn't been refrigerated, or it had been opened., B&G said in their Christmas cards that they'd taken it home gorged on cheese and cold meat for days and frozen the rest. I found it very distasteful.

That's really rude though.