To think we haven’t been invited to this wedding?

[WhereisCritch]

About a year ago we received a save the date card for a wedding this August.

The hen do has been and gone - I was invited but wasn’t able to attend.

We haven’t received an invitation yet. On the face of it, do you think we have been left off the guest list?

No! 😂🌻

Yeah, it's absolutely unacceptable behaviour.

If you're asking someone to keep their agenda free for you on a certain day, you follow through with an invitation.

Traditionally invitations are only sent about 6 weeks before. I think this was to tie in with reading of the banns being done first, so that the correct legal notice had been given before inviting guests.

These days, with not so many people getting married in church, it is a whole lot less relevant, but some people still don't send them out until that time.

So I would not assume I wasn't invited quite yet.

Save the date means you're invited

I had the same - went to the hen do, met the mum etc etc and all the other friends I’d not met before. All the talk was about the big day etc etc. on the hem do and afterwards. Life got on the way and I clean forgot about it till months later a mutual friend said “see you next weekend!” I’d not been invited. I found it bizarre. I’m still friendly with the bride so assume it was down to who made the cut. Would’ve been nice to have been told though!

How can anyone go to a hen do and not get invited to the wedding? Just bizarre.

Personally I’d never ask. I’m not that needy. It’s not 6 weeks yet. After 1 July I’d be wondering but I’m not that bothered about weddings. I’d hang on and book a great day out if nothing arrives. Or casually ask other likely guests!

What is the point of sending them then?

We have sent them for significant events (wedding anniversary and big birthdays where we are hosting 40-100 people) and we’ve still had people not save the date! Up to them but not sure why we bother! My follow up is to invite everyone we’ve sent save the date to. We’ve had all sorts of excuses and my guest lists shrink as the years go by. Plus no one seems to have events we get invited to. Not sure if it’s money but people don’t celebrate anything much with a big crowd of friends it seems. We are the only ones who do bbqs and get togethers.

The only saving grace is when DDs get married, the guest list from DH and me will be short! Trusted friends only! The no shows over the years will be excluded.