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Original poster

Feel awful but I really don't think it's my fault. TW pet death

85 replies

Pebbles16 · 15/06/2025 17:33

We've been away for a few days and the shed was closed but, during the storm the door opened.
It seems that a neighbouring cat found his way into the shed and then got stuck.
Came home, opened shed to get pegs etc... cat is dead.
Obviously we weren't here so have no idea what actually happened.
Have contacted the cat's owner (we have a great neighbourhood WA group) and they have really kicked off. Called me a murderer via DM rather than in group chat.
Refuses to come round.
I feel so bad that this happened in our garden, but I really don't think it's my fault. Despite that I am in floods and don't know what to do with the cat. It's hot and I can't just leave the poor thing there.

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 15/06/2025 17:35

Course it's not your fault if you didn't know

Are they but coming round to collect their cat though?

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 15/06/2025 17:37

How long is a few days? Dcat was possibly poorly and hid somewhere to die as they can do..

MrsGrowl · 15/06/2025 17:38

As a cat owner I would be devastated, but I absolutely wouldn’t blame you. You weren’t even there!
I think your only options are to either dig a hole and bury it (local woods/park?) or take it and drop it round to their house in a box.
Quite odd they don’t want their body back. My last cat is buried in our garden and a dog is in our previous houses garden.

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 15/06/2025 17:39

I think your only options are to either dig a hole and bury it (local woods/park?) or take it and drop it round to their house in a box.

Put on your neighbourhood WA what you’re going to do if the body isn’t collected, though. Just so you have evidence if the batshit owner starts accusing you of anything else.

tinyspiny · 15/06/2025 17:40

Not your fault just an unfortunate accident , cats are always at risk if people let them roam . Pick the poor thing up in an old towel and stick it in a box or bag of some description and then tell them to come and collect it . If they don’t collect it today drop it at the nearest vets in the morning and tell them you found it dead in the garden .

Yellowlab34 · 15/06/2025 17:40

Absolutely not your fault, the owner is being so unkind.

Can you bring yourself to wrap the cat up in a towel, then tightly in plastic, and drop it round of them? They should of course be collecting it, they do sound a bit mad.

tammienorrie · 15/06/2025 17:42

Of course it's not your fault, there is no planet on which it could ever be your fault! Owner clearly unhinged.

RareGoalsVerge · 15/06/2025 17:45

Really sorry this has happened.
No it's not your fault.

If this was me I think I would contact a local pet crematorium and book a collection and cremation at my own expense, not because it would be my responsibility but that the grieving neighbour isn't capable of being rational and it needs doing. I would notify the neighbour that this is happening and ask them to let me know asap if they would rather collect themselves eg if they want to bury it in their own garden.

Pet cremation services usually offer collection and I'd expect to pay around £90.

Florally · 15/06/2025 17:47

I’d take it to your local vets.

The neighbour blaming you is awful, but maybe fuelled by grief.

Must have been a horrible shock OP.

Topsy44 · 15/06/2025 17:48

It definitely is not your fault in any way!!

Sorry this has happened to you and very unreasonable of cat owners to lash out at you and not collect the deceased cat.

I think I would message via the group chat only and say that you will place cat in a box for their collection and for cat owner to respond on group chat rather than directly. If they send any more abusive messages to you directly block their number.

MargotTenenbaumscoat · 15/06/2025 17:51

Would the vet take the body? Tell neighbour it’s at the vet.

Absolutely not your fault at all.

Fernhurst · 15/06/2025 17:51

Are you sure the person who messaged you is really the owner? It seems odd they don't want the body. Could it just be a local crackpot?

aSpanielintheworks · 15/06/2025 17:52

A cat can survive easily if it gets trapped for a few days, Ours went missing for a week and was found in next doors shed when it was spotted looking out of the shed window, hungry but right as rain.
I didn’t realise until very recently that the pouch of skin under their belly is to store food and water for this very reason, like they would have to in the wild.
If it’s only been a few days it’s unlikely to be because it was trapped, maybe as others have said, it was already injured - they do tend to go off and hide.
If you know where they live could you write them a note saying just the above, you are sorry for their grief and that you will be available if they want to collect it until <insert date> after which you will give it a nice burial in your own garden?

Keep it off Social media

I think that’s what I’d do .

TrousersOfTime · 15/06/2025 17:58

If you do decide to arrange cremation, sort it directly with the pet crematorium, not via the vets, who tend to charge approximately twice as much!

Also, I'm so sorry, it must have been a horrible shock for you finding poor puss like that. As others have said, cats are usually pretty good at surviving, and if the cat was actually stuck, I'd expect them to have caused quite a lot of damage trying to get out, but they do seek out quiet places if they are seriously ill or injured.

Original poster
Pebbles16 · 15/06/2025 18:05

I actually cannot go near the body - my problem. I am allergic to cats and also really am not good with dead creatures. DH could do it but he's still away for another couple of days and the heat etc
I don't want to create a drama on WA, but do know someone who is friends with the family so I might message them for advice.

Thanks for all your support... I was so unsure as they were so adamant it was my fault (admittedly I have shouted at said cat before because he used my flower beds as his litter tray - but have only ever shouted)

OP posts:
Original poster
Pebbles16 · 15/06/2025 18:10

Fernhurst · 15/06/2025 17:51

Are you sure the person who messaged you is really the owner? It seems odd they don't want the body. Could it just be a local crackpot?

I believe it is. They have previously moaned at me for various indiscretions such as shouting at their cat when it brought a flippin' half dead pigeon into my kitchen. I am not a cat person, although I would never wish ill to any feline.

OP posts:
lolwhateven · 15/06/2025 18:11

The cat may not even have got stuck, maybe it just went in there to die as someone else said. Anyway the owner's fault for letting their cat roam around in a storm.

The body is going to stink even more soon. I would ask in the WA group for a local volunteer to help as you're allergic to cats (don't mention the not being too keen on being around dead animals bit) and DH is away. Maybe a bit shit stirring as it outs the previous owner but they deserve it.

msbevvy · 15/06/2025 18:21

How long were you away for? One of my cats went missing and turned up in a neighbour's shed after about 8 days. She seemed totally fine after her ordeal.

Boreded · 15/06/2025 18:23

I am a cat person, and I don’t believe any cat people wouldn’t want their cat to be returned so that can dispose of the body in the way they deem appropriate, so they clearly don’t care.

I would put the body in a bag and take it to her house (if you know where it is) - use a spade to lift and drop into bag so you don’t need to get too close and trigger your allergies. then depending on her next choice of action I would consider whether to share the screenshots of her abuse on the page (but this does depend on how she reacts to being given the body back and whether she harasses you etc)

TidalShore · 15/06/2025 18:25

Yes if the door was so insecure to be able to blow open in the wind, I'm surprised the cat couldn't push it open / hook a claw under and pull open to get back out if it was otherwise fit and healthy. And healthy cats can manage a couple of days shut somewhere and be none the worse for wear. I think either it's been shut in there a lot longer or it was very unwell to start with.

It always surprises me how easily my little cat can pull the heavy french doors open as long as they've just been pushed to and not been fully shut to catch on the latch. If a door can blow open, she'd be able to open it herself.

Original poster
Pebbles16 · 15/06/2025 18:44

msbevvy · 15/06/2025 18:21

How long were you away for? One of my cats went missing and turned up in a neighbour's shed after about 8 days. She seemed totally fine after her ordeal.

Four days, but I think there were huge storms round here on Thursday night

OP posts:
LetIt · 15/06/2025 18:46

This isn’t your fault even if you had been home and had accidentally shut the cat in yourself. I have cats. This is one of the risks of letting cats roam. There are dangers outside and that could harm or kill them, as there are with wild animals. We allow them to roam as cats are only partly domesticated and their quality of life is more important than the risk of harm coming to them. I personally think it’s pretty cruel to keep indoor cats (except for certain indoor breeds such as ragdoll or special needs cats). Your neighbour is being more than unreasonable and is giving cat owners a bad name. There is a general trend that people seem to want to both remove all risk from life, often at the expense of quality of life, and when accidents do occur to seek blame others. OP please don’t take on this person’s unreasonable thought processes and reaction as anything to do with you. This is all them.

Helpmeplease2025 · 15/06/2025 18:48

Of course it’s not your fault. I’d block this batshit neighbour, and get someone to come and remove the body.

Original poster
Pebbles16 · 15/06/2025 18:53

Boreded · 15/06/2025 18:23

I am a cat person, and I don’t believe any cat people wouldn’t want their cat to be returned so that can dispose of the body in the way they deem appropriate, so they clearly don’t care.

I would put the body in a bag and take it to her house (if you know where it is) - use a spade to lift and drop into bag so you don’t need to get too close and trigger your allergies. then depending on her next choice of action I would consider whether to share the screenshots of her abuse on the page (but this does depend on how she reacts to being given the body back and whether she harasses you etc)

Edited

I would love to do this but I am so scared of smaller creatures.
I can - and do (because of my job) - deal with a human death. A bird, rodent, and (moreover a beloved) pet are beyond my brain.
Sorry, that makes me sound so incapable.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pebbles16 · 15/06/2025 18:53

LetIt · 15/06/2025 18:46

This isn’t your fault even if you had been home and had accidentally shut the cat in yourself. I have cats. This is one of the risks of letting cats roam. There are dangers outside and that could harm or kill them, as there are with wild animals. We allow them to roam as cats are only partly domesticated and their quality of life is more important than the risk of harm coming to them. I personally think it’s pretty cruel to keep indoor cats (except for certain indoor breeds such as ragdoll or special needs cats). Your neighbour is being more than unreasonable and is giving cat owners a bad name. There is a general trend that people seem to want to both remove all risk from life, often at the expense of quality of life, and when accidents do occur to seek blame others. OP please don’t take on this person’s unreasonable thought processes and reaction as anything to do with you. This is all them.

Thank you. That is very kind

OP posts: