I have an unusual problem with food

[ThePigandPear]

And would love to get some advice that the Dr hasn't been able to offer.

I don't have any disordered thoughts or body image issues regarding food.
But ever since I was young (I am 51 now), I don't feel good if I eat much of a plate. I love so many foods, and particularly vegetables, but if I load more than two on a plate, in any amount, I feel uncomfortable for a good while after eating.

I don't eat fast food and have a decent diet, well balanced, because I make sure of it. I am a healthy weight (8st 4) and am active and happy enough, but mealtimes are a pain in the arse. This is getting old and I just wish I could eat how I want to.

So my preferred way of eating would be : small breakfast with either oats or toast and peanut butter. Fruit for lunch or something equally small (if I am honest I would skip lunch altogether, but don't because I need the calories).
For dinner I would like around 4 wholewheat crackers with olives, a bit of cheese, pickles, nuts and some scattered berries.
Or a bit of sushi rice with two veg and tuna, etc.

So I feel like a small rodent, and deliberately eat more to keep healthy.
When I have let myself eat how I want to, I have lost too much weight.

What I would love to know is, is there a way to enjoy my preferred meal sizes but pack in enough nutrition? To get all that I need per day?
I employ peanut butter, eggs, cheese and decent proteins to keep on top of it, but i struggle with a pile of veg. Tonight we had roast chicken with 4 veg and felt like shit. I do this because I know it is healthy.

I don't like the idea of protein / food shakes at all as I need some crunch and mouthfeel. I think this is just who I always was, and I have spent my life forcing stuff down me that I don't really want just to keep on top.

Any tips or advice welcome.

To re-phrase my main question - how do I manage to eat a small volume meal that has enough calories AND nutrition?

I suppose my issue is that I have a low appetite but healthy taste buds, and if I ate how I wanted I might only get 800 cal per day, so this is not good. I need to get ample energy for my active lifestyle without stress.

So you need calorie dense snacks between your meals? Several small meals and snacks a day?

If you don’t need much fibre, you could just eat a multivitamin and stop trying to eat so much veg. Add healthy fats to each meal and have a high fat snack- avocado, ice cream, cheese in soup…

I’m the opposite. I love veg and feel shortchanged when I eat out as there’s never enough.

I envy that, as I love veg.
I want to eat at least 12 a day and often buy it in.
It is like my mind and body are not coherent.

Calorie dense is great but how do I shove all of my nutrients in there, too?
It's easy to get in the fats, but not so much the roughage.
I have been eating Fage yogurt with berries and seeds in the evening, no issue, but I think my main meal is the worry. Ideally I want a ton of veg like you see in all of those tasty recipes (and I love them so much!) but the reality is I can't stomach it.

I have lost a tonne of weight recently due to life events, exhaustion and stress. I ALWAYS wanted to be this thin (7 stone) but I look awful. I’m trying to eat calorie rich good food - seeds, nuts, avocados, feta, pulses. Oh and crisps and rose 😂

Have you logged food accurately and checked it? I’d be surprised if you were short of nutrients of you eat real food, albeit in small quantities.

But where's the veg and fruit? I wish I could help to advise how to pack them in!

It depends what height we are, but unless under 5"2 then 7 stone is pretty low. If you suffered a dose of norovirus it might wipe you out - I have been there!

Getting older, I am very aware of osteoporosis and arthritis as it runs in my family so I am pretty concerned.

Have you looked into physical reasons? When you say ‘uncomfortable’ do you mean bloated? Sick?

Veg can be a huge IBS trigger

A ton of veg won’t give you calories and 800 is way too low. The protein you are having sounds ok though with eggs, tuna, cheese. It just sounds like your appetite is very small. Can you not increase calories with avocados, bananas and upping the quantities slightly?

I do research things.

But I might want a dinner of sardines with a small amount of broccoli and peas, with a heaped tablespoon of sushi rice and soy sauce. I checked it and it came to around 400cals. This is very much under my calorie needs per day, but it is what I feel good on and enjoy.
Totting up my day's intake it came to around 800 per day.

Oddly, when I ate like this over xmas and hiked nearly every day, I never felt bad.
But I am not daft, surely this would impact my heart health and bones as I age.

I don't get what your asking? What do you mean uncomfortable?

There's no logical reason why one carrot and one Brocoli make you ill but a large quantity of Brocoli doesn't.

If eating 4 veg with dinner makes you uncomfortable, don't eat 4 veg with dinner. You don't need to eat piles and piles of veg to get all your nutrients in. If you insist on eating piles of veg when it makes you sick then I would suggest yes, you have very disordered eating.

Some infections can cause you to feel uncomfortably bloated after eating a small amount so you may want to get it checked out. I think they do home testing kits for h pylori now too.

The point is I struggle with 5 a day, let alone 12, and I am a veg lover.

I am concerned about that, over time.

But what happens when you eat 5? Elaborate on uncomfortable?

How can you say you love veg if its making you sick all the time and you can't eat it?

You need to rule out a medical condition - a normal size meat and two veg type of meal shouldn't be making you feel bad. Something else is going on.

Are you talking about raw salads, lightly boiled, fermented veg, all having the same effect?
it sounds like you just have a small capacity at any one time? Is it that you want to eat 4 vegetables at once, or would be happy to have consecutively?

I think you’re overthinking things OP.

I have a tiny appetite too and am similar (almost identical!) age and weight to you. If I’m stressed I just cannot eat. I’d often forget to eat if I didn’t live with my husband, and I’m not motivated by food at all. I figure that I have enough energy to do everything I want to do, I can go for brisk walks, jog, go shopping, work, socialise etc without fainting or breaking bones, and I don’t have any symptoms of any deficiency / lack of nutrition, therefore everything must be fine! I take a daily multi vitamin, I take magnesium at night, and I’m on HRT for the heart & bone protection it offers.

You could try antidepressants, some really increase your appetite. Have you tried making protein bars? They can be very calorific.

Have been checked for allergies, IBS, related issues, etc.
PP who said low capacity is likely right.
Just wanted tips for nutrition on small meals.

Am probably overthinking, will bow out.

magnesium at night

Just started that!
I just don't want my nutrients to come from vits.

I think I got concerned as a pharmacist recently told me that not having over 5 per day would compromise me. It stuck in my head.

Yes those too, and salad. I’m not big on fruit but I love veg. My problem is depression/ anxiety/ trauma leaves me unable to even swallow. And I bloody love food, I collect cook books and kitchen gadgets, I love cooking

it’s not vanity, I look shit, I’m trying to co concentrate on calorie rich stuff that might make a difference

Gently, this sounds very much like disordered eating.

Can't you snack on veg and fruit, in addition to usual meals ?

Rather than try to eat loads at once?

I said I ought to bow out, and likely I should knowing MN like i do!

But why is it disordered, I would genuinely like to know?
If I have a low appetite, and try to eat more to get more nutrients, how is that a disorder?
I like my food and I like myself???

I guess it's just crap forcing yourself to eat if not hungry, similar, possibly, to forcing yourself to restrict if you are hungry (aka weight loss diets).

It's do-able, but lousy.

Don’t eat a pile of veg? Do the 30 plants thing so different things, smaller quantities
you could eat a couple of cherry tomatoes, a bit of cucumber, a couple of radishes which gives you a variety of nutrients
if you have scattered berries then do a mix of them

if you’re eating say 100g of 1 veg then swap it and eat 25g of 4 different ones