money - where does it all go?

[denimdouble]

Hi,

So before I start, I know that we are fortunate and that so many people have it harder. I am just fed up of everything being so expensive and that so much of our money is tied up with bills and essential spends.

We both work hard in decent jobs and our joint take home pay is £7400. Today I have calculated that after every last thing that we have to pay we are left with about £1800 each month. This is essentially the money that we can use for holidays, days out, fun stuff etc.

We do have some debt that we are paying off, however this will end in about 18 months so this will make things easier. Our mortgage ends in 47 months which will make a huge difference to our lives.

I don't want to sound ungrateful or tone deaf as I am not, however it's awful to see that so much of our income is needed just to stay afloat.

Anyone else feel that same?

If it were me OP I’d rephase the mortgage to be paid off at 60 which isn’t that late at all and will free up cash now. But do look at where you’re spending money.

OP, how good are you with Excel?
I have kept a spreadsheet with one tab for each month for the past 10 years.

it’s great because you can see exactly where the money is going and you can then make adjustments accordingly. You’d be surprised how much goes on silky coffees etc.

you need to live a very frugal lifestyle until you settle all the debts. With your joint income you’ll be laughing once those are settled.

most people on low, middle and even moderately high earnings find a large percentage of their income goes on things they cannot do anything about, lucky enough to have no mortgage now, nor any loans , even so, probably 30% of our income still goes on council tax, utilities, broadband, phones, that’s before food. Having said that, whilst appreciating OP lives in the south where living costs for mortgages in particular are high, £1800 a month just for spending on “ fun stuff” is still way beyond what many would have

On the basis they have £1,800 spare a month and a mortgage due to be paid off at 50 they don’t need to be frugal!

But they almost certainly DO have a better than average lifestyle

it’s just once you chose to spend it - on the house , on whatever the debts bought, children -then you can’t spend it again

the house is a great investment usually - a safe roof over your head - i hope I never stop being grateful for my home (north facing 3 bed semi on an estate so nothing fancy but all mine )

sounds like in 5 years you will be positively rolling - debts and mortgae ( and chikdcare ?) all much less so it’s just a life stage

even now - you have as much money left after bills than we spend in a typical month including bills ( living off redundancy at the moment but probably going to retire so different life stage ) and I know o have a blessed life filled with so much good stuff, family, food , friends and holidays

I didn’t always have this so perhaps that why it feels good

I agree UC shouldn’t be a lifestyle choice
but a part of the reason so many claim it is because the out of control house prices, lack of social housing and poor wages. This is also the legacy of Thatcherism /Blairism etc.

Your left over fun money is what I take home a month.

You will be mortage free in just a few years.

You don’t want to sound ungrateful but you are.

You’re obviously used to living at a certain standard and probably don’t realise how good you have it and how much you’re spending that other people can’t justify.

How many streaming platforms do you use at home? Sky, Netflix, Apple TV, Disney??

Where do you shop? Waitrose, Sainsburys? Try Aldi or Lidl. Do you write a weekly shopping list, food plan and budget or do you just buy what you want when you want and not think about the cost?

Do you check your mobile contract and home broadband packages often to see if you can lower the cost or get a better deal?

Do your gas and electric tariff often to see that you’re on the best deal?

Do you only put the heating on only when absolutely necessary and make sure you’re using thermal clothes, hot water bottles, blankets the rest of the time?

These are the things that people who are tight on money do and if you’re not thinking about any of these you’re doing ok.

This. Spend your money however you want but don't act confused about where it's all gone. I'm one of the people who earn less then the op fun money and obviously yes I would love more money but I also feel very lucky that I can put a roof over my families head, afford heating, clothes and food and even the odd treat here and there. This is what I work for I don't expect to have thousands left over a month if I did I'd reduce my hours as to me time is more important then money.

Honesty it’s a bit of a pointless thread and I don’t mean to be harsh but it is a bit tone deaf considering you’ve £1800 leftover for play, spends & whatever you want. Most people can only dream of this.Hardly a struggle and things will get even easier when you’ve paid of your debt, children no longer need childcare & your mortgage.

You sound organised and have a lovely life financially now and will have an easier life financially in the not too distant future. I’m sure you’ve worked hard for it but I can see why people find it goady.

Im always amazed at how expensive things must be nowadays

I have to say we dont have children of an age that need childcare and the grandchildren are cared for by their mum as her and her husband work around each other so I know Im out of touch on that front

I also do accept that mortgage payments , even for what I perceive is such a low rate ( Mine was in the days of double figures ) because of the amount needed to borrow

it was when I was 40 and needing to borrow £500k for a mortgage that we said sod this, and packed up and moved to where we could afford - and became mortgage free come 50

But take child care and mortgage out of the equation, that's some expensive living being done

We manage on what the op has left over - probably a lot less

But I would also be wondering myself, if I had worked my way up to a really good wage why I wasnt living in pure luxury tbh, cos for me that income is HUGE

I think the thing is that op probably does have a luxury life compared to many but she doesn’t appreciate what she has - she could do a “holiday of a lifetime” every few years - that’s clearly luxury

• she doesn’t have to waste brain power thinking about low cost dinners - that’s a luxury - she could buy some quite expensive clothes or spend a few hindered on fancy hair dos - that’s a luxury- she could buy an expensive car - luxury

I think when you earn a lot of money you don’t expect to have to continue budgeting, shop around, be advised to buy second hand and go to Lidl. If the high earners are having to do that because fixed costs are so high then the country is fucked frankly and no amount of clever household budgeting is going to fix it.

She has 1,800 quid to spend on fun things. Monthly. She doesn't need to budget. And she clearly isn't since she doesn't know what she's spending her money on.

She doesn't need to do any of those things - she has £1800 a month to spend on whatever she wants!

Why would the OP need to do any of those things when she has £1800 fun money left every month?

If half my salary was pocket money and I was 4 years away from being debt free and having lifelong housing security, I'd reckon I was winning at life.

Exactly. We have a similar household income and we can comfortably pay all of our bills, save and have plenty left for fun stuff. It does not mean we don't have to budget or save carefully for bigger expenses like holidays or new furniture

I am baffled by this current trend of moderately high earners who are comfortably able to meet all their essential expenses with money left over for fun, thinking they are somehow owed more.

I think when you earn a lot of money you don’t expect to have to continue budgeting, shop around, be advised to buy second hand and go to Lidl. If the high earners are having to do that because fixed costs are so high then the country is fucked frankly and no amount of clever household budgeting is going to fix it.

I think they have made their money go very far!

seeing so much of it just disappear.

I'm so glad you have started tracking your spends as this phrase really bothered me.

It's ok whatever you want to spend on but it's much nicer to know what you have spent it on and make a conscious choice to spend it that way. Tracking spending over a period (actual spending, not just your DDs!) really helps you feel in control and like you are in charge of the ££.

but after watching the show billions, different tiers of society exist and always have, so why is it that we cannot discuss wealth in the upper tiers of society without derision etc, from my research the income maybe better but other costs also rise .

@denimdouble after watching the show billions, and researching it seems its yes the income may be more than average but dependin on your area using the cotswolds uk, as an example then costs for living are also higher, so depending on the area and then vs income that could partly explain the rise in prices,

We earn around £7000 a month, quite a sizable mortgage for an "average" house (also SE) but I know where our money goes......FOOD!

We like to eat well, and don't cut costs but that is the choice we made. We rarely holiday (2 holidays in 15 years), and we have old mobiles with small contracts etc. We do this so we can afford the nicer food.

Oh, and council tax. That's fecking expensive!

I would suggest if you don't like your outgoings, you need to change your lifestyle.

I do earn a lot of money (relatively speaking) and I do expect to be budgeting. It's how I can afford to spend on my priorities in a manageable way. Whilst the days of walking around the supermarket mentally totting up the price of my trolley before reaching the checkout are over, I still walk into the supermarket with an indicative budget.

I make choices that to some would seem financially nuts but I can only do that by managing costs in other areas.

It's very few and far between who have the resources to spend without thought.

Even kings and princes, earls and barons and tech moguls have to have sone eye to their money management or they end uo
bankrupt

But I think it’s wise to still do that. Having a budget is about managing spending and choosing where to spend your money- regardless of your level of income.
dh and I shop around, budget etc so when south west water increases its rates by 30% it isn’t a problem…